Trying again after miscarriage

(6 Posts)
Suzannecarpenter1 Sun 05-Jun-16 19:51:15

I'm a mum of three and many people say I should be happy with that but I was desperate to have another baby and felt my prayers had been answered when I found out I was expecting again. My husband wasn't happy at first but started to get used to the idea and we started to plan together for our new arrival. Unfortunately it wasn't happy ever after as I am now going through a miscarriage at 11 weeks and I am heartbroken and initially felt like my dream had been taken away from me. I sat down and spoke to my husband and he agreed once things had settled we would try again. That has been the one thing that has been getting me through the horrible ordeal that miscarriage is but now my husband has turned around and said he's not sure. I now feel that my heart has been ripped out and stamped on and I don't know how to cope with the grief and despair. I love my husband but feel he has been so cruel and I'm not sure I can forgive him. He knows how much this means to me and shouldn't play with my feelings like this. I feel so alone.

Sophiehfz2805 Wed 08-Jun-16 17:51:28

I know how you feel, but i'm a first time mum. Really want a baby and just 2 weeks ago i had a mid pregnancy miscarriage at 19 weeks.. Was really upsetting i had to deliver my baby and everything 😪 Now im just waiting and going to start trying for a baby today. But i keep worrying all the time thinking what if something bad happens, but i want to be as positive as possible when i do become pregnant again. Just try not to worry or feel upset because it may cause arguments because i have had arguments with my husband about it too because he says he's telling me to wait or hes not sure and it is upsetting but if you speak to him or give him time to think about it. Don't stress out or put yourself down because of it though! Xx

Suzannecarpenter1 Wed 08-Jun-16 19:06:38

Sophie it must have been so hard for you to deliver your baby, life can be so cruel sometimes. It's exciting that you are looking to try again though and I'm sure everything will be fine this time for you, your body will be more prepared this time for pregnancy so enjoy. My second pregnancy was an ectopic pregnancy where my Fallopian tube ruptured and was removed. I then went on to have two other beautiful babies so hope is always there. This is how I'm trying to be now just hoping my husband comes round and we can try again it would just complete our family and also be a positive which has come from a negative. Good luck xxx

Sophiehfz2805 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:03:48

Oh no that must have been hard for you again.. Im scared that an ectopic pregnancy would happen, i try not to think of it but i do get scared, is it common to have an ectopic pregnancy after a miscarriage or? Also do you need surgery for that to remove them? Sorry for the questions just curious because i've never asked anyone before. Im sure he will come around to it, just stay happy and never give up!! Goodluck also xx

Suzannecarpenter1 Wed 08-Jun-16 21:14:56

It's ok I'm really open to talking about it as I think it's important to not think of theses topics to be taboo. Ectopic is just something that can happen much like miscarriage but not connected. You are naturally going to worry all parents to be do especially if you have had previous issues. I will say this though when I had my ectopic I had to have surgery as the pregnancy was quite big and growing in my Fallopian tube so it was removed leaving me with one Fallopian tube left. The first question I asked the surgeon was when can I get pregnant again and I was told as soon as you have a period. I had my surgery in the November and by December I was pregnant again. It doesn't half your chances with one tube. Also not everyone that has an ectopic has to have surgery. Although we can go through these thing as women and they are awful it makes us realise just how much we want to be mums and also makes you appreciate it more when it happens and it truly is amazing, precious moment when you meet your baby. Think positive and I will try to do the same. Hopefully this time next year we may both be new mums.x

Sophiehfz2805 Wed 08-Jun-16 21:25:49

Wow, was the surgery for long and was it serious or? Yeah i guess so, but once you've had an ectopic pregnancy you can't have it again can you? Yeah you're right it does make us appreciate it more when it happens. Hopefully we will be new mums by next year, goodluck suzanne xx

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