Stillbirth want to try again

(7 Posts)
Kayleyc123456789 Tue 10-May-16 07:42:55

Hi everyone I'm new to this site,looking for women in the same situation as me really I've just lost my daughter down to stillbirth over 9 weeks ago I would really appreciate it if sum1 any1 reply I could just do with talking to anyone who understands this feeling so down and upset I want to try again anyone got success after stillbirth I've had 2 misscarriages before and now my stillborn daughter is there hope I'm 21 years old

Levithecat Tue 10-May-16 12:34:13

Hi Kayley, I'm so sorry for your losses. I think many/most people on this forum understand the feeling - I desperately want to be pregnant again/successfully carry a baby to term. It's a very natural feeling I think. If you scroll down through the pages there are lots of threads about trying again. Go gentle on yourself

Alb1 Tue 10-May-16 13:25:25

Hi OP no helpful advice, My baby was stillborn 9 days ago at 35 weeks, but we have already decided to try again. We don't want to replace her, but I no I want to have another baby and I feel like the fear of pregnancy and wondering if it'll happen again is going to loom over me until it's done so I just want to get on with it as soon as possible and have my family complete, although my little baby will always be part of that. I have a 19month old son already which I'm so greatful for, we had a miscarriage before him tho and I can't help but worry now about wether wel ever be able to successfully have another live baby. I've read lots of success stories on here though and on the sands forum. Hopefully someone else will come along with a success story flowers

gingerbreadmanm Tue 10-May-16 13:30:54

My son was stillborn at 27 weeks in july last year. We havent felt ready to try again yet but are coming close.

I also had a miscarraige before and have no other children.

You will definitely be fine. You have time on your side which is an advantage.

Are you having any support to help with the grief and trauma of what youve been through?

If it helps after my miscarraige i was so traumatised i had to ttc again straight away otherwise i think i would have been put off.

Im so sorry for your loss.

VocationalGoat Tue 10-May-16 13:46:35

It's so very sad and such an isolating experience, even knowing that so many of us have suffered such a horrible experience. It's a lonely place to find yourself in. I felt so empty.

Give your body time. I recall feeling this intense need to try again. I took my time though. Trying again is a good thing. But go easy. Give yourself time.

I was so attached to my daughter that for me personally, I needed time. I wasn't ready to be a mother again until I mourned Madeleine. I needed to let her go. But that's me and what I needed to do. Everyone's needs are different.

Nothing physically should stop you from trying again. We had our little boy nearly 3 years later with a MC in between. It was, of course, incredible to meet our baby boy after such loss. I can't describe the joy!
I was amazed by how unafraid I was throughout my final pregnancy. I think it was my most peaceful. I was so worried I'd be a wreck. Admittedly, I fell apart when I was the same gestation as I was when we lost our baby girl. But once I got past that point, I was OK. I was at peace.
You will know when you're ready.
Try SANDS website/forum for support. flowers

Kayleyc123456789 Tue 10-May-16 13:58:12

Thank you to all of you replying I'm so sorry on all your losses I really am, it makes you relise how cruel this world is and how unlucky us women are it's such a horrible thing to happen and it breaks my heart knowing there's more families out there with broken hearts two, I just really want to be a mum I know I'm a mum to my sleeping daughter but you all understand what I mean I wanna do the things I should be doing right now I wanna hold and cherish my child and see her first smile her first crawl her first word her first step I'm not able to see any of that now it's horrible x

gingerbreadmanm Tue 10-May-16 14:07:43

Do you think you are longing for that with your sleeping daughter though?

Did you name her?

I only ask as i was like the previous poster and too felt like i had to grieve for my son. Having another one would have taken away from him too soon i didn't want him to be forgotten.

I'm not suggesting you do this but we ended up getting a puppy. It was so good having something to shower with all that love and focus on.

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