Miscarried 16 weeks baby was alive up until the end. Anyone else have this?

(9 Posts)
Jessbird1 Thu 31-Mar-16 20:47:39

Hi all,
I am struggling with low mood and still in great shock having miscarried a week ago at 16+4. Started with cramps and bleeding, admitted to hospital with possible infection (vaginal swabs came back clear but I had infection markers in my blood which they said may or may not be relevant). Was in hospital for 3 nights with mild cramping and bloody show which eased in the day and came back each night whilst I was pumped full of antibiotics. Cervix was funnelling and shortening to 1.7mm so it was inevitable. Baby was alive with strong heartbeat right up until the end, it took 14 hours of contractions and Doctors saying that they couldn't pop my waters to help move things along as it would be classed as a termination. I am glad in the end we didn't go down that route anyway as it would have made it harder emotionally. He was born with sac still in tact, I like to think that my body was protecting him and didn't want to let him go, though I suppose it's quite common at this early stage. I suppose I am just trying to find other people who's little ones were alive this long? I seem to come across a lot of threads for missed miscarriages and nothing much for babies who were still alive and looking strong? I guess I feel like it was my fault as my body seemed to go into labour with no clear signs anything was wrong. Most posts I see regarding cervical incompetence seem to be much later around 20 weeks or so, and as there was nothing on vaginal swabs I can't see how my womb could have been infected? Anyone have a similar story and have anything from their results that indicate what happened? Searching for answers as I guess we all do..

Zephyroux1 Thu 31-Mar-16 20:51:24

I'm so so sorry for your loss, I don't have experiences to share as my miscarriage was much earlier but I wanted to reply anyway x x

sparechange Thu 31-Mar-16 20:52:39

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I haven't had a directly comparable situation, but I do understand the need for answers and the desperate thoughts when you don't know why it happened.

Have you tried contacting the miscarriage association or SANDS? They probably won't be able to give you specific answers on what happened, but can give you more general information and also maybe suggest questions to ask the hospital.

Have you got an appointment for a follow up with your consultant? They are usually 6 weeks after the loss so they have time to get back test results

thanks and un-MN hugs

nappyrat Thu 31-Mar-16 21:02:28

Hugs to you Jess...sorry I can't help with answers but I wanted to send a reply. Xx

MrsGlam Sat 02-Apr-16 11:05:07

Hi Jess,
I have a similar story well two really I have had two late miscarriage ones at 19+1 weeks the second 20+6 with my first I wasn't sure when baby passed away but with my second miscarriage I know my boy was alive 20 minutes before I gave birth, They checked for a heartbeat before trying something that unfortunately didn't work.
It's hard knowing that but I try not to focus on it.. No reason was found for both of mine but it was suggested mine was due to infection as I had good cervical scan measurements.
To add a little positivity to this post I am currently sat here at 37+1 weeks pregnant being induced next week for other medical reasons..
So although it feels like hell now, You can have your rainbow baby. I have had excellent care with cervical scans and weekly swabs to check for infections and progesterone suppositories.
Don't be afraid to do some research and ask your consultant what plan of action they have and what you would like.
Wishing you all the best x

Kitty1971 Thu 07-Apr-16 14:29:06

Hi I'm soo sorry I myself have just miscarried last week I wasn't quite as far as you I was 14 weeks baby's heart stopped and measured 12 weeks I miscarried at home which was horrendous I lost so much blood I passed out and cut my head and knocked my teeth out !! I then called an ambulance and was taken to hospital in left with the guilt of seeing my baby but flushed it down the toilet along with the placenta as I wasn't thinking straight at the time I now feel really traumatised and guilty about what I did - I'm still bleeding and wish it would stop - I hope your ok and you recover soon as I have had four early miscarriages but this has been the hardest by far being a bit later on so I know exactly how you are feeling and just want to say how sorry I am for anyone that is going through this or are waiting to miscarry my heart goes out to you all xx

Paige84 Mon 18-Apr-16 17:57:56

Hi Jess
I'm here looking for similar answers. I gave birth to my perfect little one last week at 15+4. I'd had some pain on Monday so had been to a&e who checked me out and said all fine, heard a good heartbeat but arranged a scan for Tuesday for reassurance. Tuesday's scan was perfect. She was very bright and active and heartbeat was normal. On Wednesday I felt nauseaous all morning but checked baby's heartbeat at lunchtime and all was fine. At 9pm my waters broke at home and within 15 mins I was having extremely painful contractions every 4 minutes. Obviously at that stage the hospital could do nothing and my baby way born at 11.48pm. She was perfect. Nobody has any answers for me and I'm left devastated and convinced I will never find the courage to try again. It was my first pregnancy. Hugs to you during this horrific time x

Jessbird1 Mon 18-Apr-16 21:25:36

Hi lovely ladies
Thank you all so much for replying and I am so sorry for all of your losses I know how you all feel and my heart goes out to you. I think the worse thing with later miscarriages is that you never expect it to happe once you get out of the first trimester as its much rarer and especially hard if you've had no complications what so ever and then it suddenly happens.

MrsGlam do you mind me asking what the Doctors tried that didn't work for you? Was it a cervical stitch? I so sore that you had to go through two late miscarriages and I sincerely hope you have a beautiful healthy little baby to look after keeping you busy!!

Kitty1971 I am so so sorry to hear your story, how awful to go through it at home and collapsing. Please don't feel guilty about flushing your baby down the toilet. In all honesty having lost so much blood and collapsing and doing it all at home I shouldn't imagine you had any faculties to think straight at all. You must try not to feel guilty or blame yourself, a miscarriage is such a traumatic event I was having nightmares and waking up crying in hysterics from it all you are certainly not in your right mind when you are going through it. I hope you are doing ok and starting to feel better.

Paige84 I am so sorry that you went through this it sounds very similar to my situation and so hard to give birth to what essentially seems a healthy baby. It breaks my heart and I'm sure it has broken yours too. Did you have any tests done to see if they can find out any answers? We were due to have an appointment at the end of May but they've cancelled it until the results are actually in and they can't give a clear date which is frustrating as we are eager to try again ( I am 36 and don't have time on my side)

We have the cremation service tomorrow which is going to be extremely hard but I know I will feel better looking back that we did it.

Thanks again for sharing your stories, such brave strong women, I hope we can all at least find some comfort in knowing we are not alone.

Xxx

Paige84 Tue 19-Apr-16 08:40:24

Thinking of you today Jess xxx

I did have all of the tests done but have been told we could be looking at 12 weeks to get results. Seems irrelevant now anyway. I turned 32 yesterday, I know I should've tried to start a family sooner but it didn't ever seem like the time and now..... Well. Now this. I wouldn't survive should anything like this happen again.
xx

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