how much time off work

[nailsathome]

I miscarried naturally last Tuesday after being told on the Friday before I'd had an mmc. Baby died somewhere between 11 and 12 weeks.

I have an infection caused by retained products which did pass naturally on Tuesday. The tablets I'm on make me feel like I'm on a roller coaster for a couple of hours after taking them. I have to wait until I get home from taking the kids to nursery before I have them. I also normally have low blood pressure so any sort of heavy bleeding really takes it out of me and I still feel weak and dizzy. Im still bleeding red and losing clots. I also suspect I have a kidney infection but the gynae unit refused to look into it despite my urine being bright red because of the brown bleed I'd had which caused me to go in for the scan so they couldn't get a clean sample.

The week before my mc, I had 'flu which I'm still feeling the effects of.

And then on top of that I'm struggling to deal with the emotional side.

I've had 2 weeks off work (+3 with 'flu) and I'm not really well enough to go back. However, I only returned from maternity leave on 15th Feb. I hate being off sick and I feel like I'm letting everyone down and they'll all be talking about me. I don't know what to do.

[KittyandTeal]

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

I had 6 weeks off after loosing dd2 and will be having close to that after loosing ds.

I know there is a pressure to go back, especially if you've just returned from maternity leave but don't go back before you're ready, it's likely to have worse effects than taking your time

💐

[nailsathome]

Thanks Kitty, I thought I'd read somewhere you were a teacher too. I'm sorry for your losses xx

I went back after 2 weeks with my first mmc. I had an erpc which had some complications and I went back way too early in hindsight. I don't want to make that mistake again but I don't want people thinking I'm taking the piss.

[boobytrap321]

If you're not well because of the infection then obviously don't go in

I had the D&C operation thing on the Friday and went back to work on Monday. Wanted to get on with things really.

[KittyandTeal]

Yes I'm a teacher nails so this time I've been 'lucky' in that I've only taken 2 weeks off but then I'll end up with 3 weeks off for the holiday. It helps ease the guilt but I would still be taking the same amount of time, holiday or not.

You have to give yourself time to heal physically and start the emotional journey (I hate the term journey but there isn't a better one in this case) at least.

[smellsofelderberries]

I had a week off after the actual miscarriage (ERPC), but had 5 weeks off work in total as I bleed from very early on and couldn't face work while going for regular scans to monitor progress. I'm a nanny and couldn't deal with looking after someone else's baby 10 hours a day while I knew I was losing my own. Take as much time as you need, and bollocks to work. I found it easier to tell my boss the situation though as they were very sympathetic.

[nailsathome]

Thank you. It's so shit. I don't know how to recover again. I still struggle at times with dealing with the first one and that was 6 years ago.