i miscarried in march last year at 7 weeks, had been having brown discharge since 3 weeks, had a scan at 6 weeks and everything seemed to be okay, then started bleeding 5 days later. the day after i was scanned to show little bean had no heartbeat, i was given the oral pill to help speed things up, i was hurt, angry, and felt really alone, my partner did as much as he could to help, i ended up collapsing 4 days later with the blood loss, i went back to the hospital and the baby was still inside, so they had to remove it, which was more roaming around with me, they asked if i wanted them to send babby off to see if they could find a cause for the miscarriage, but i said no, i think i said no because i couldnt have dealt with the guilt in case it was something id done, i still dream about the whole thing, i remember the pain so vividly, it frightens me, i thought i would of been able to deal with it a bit more now with it being nearly almost a year ago, but all i can think about is how old the baby would of been now, would he/she have had a lot of/or no hair, how much would he/she have weighed, would they have been getting theyre first teeth now. i cant see myself getting past this :'(
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