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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Missed miscarriage, sad wait

17 replies

Kione · 09/01/2016 14:19

Hi all. Its my first post here as I feel I need a bit of support. I am aware that this subject might have been talked over all the time buy I just need a word of advice... Or something.
Yesterday Dr told me I am most probably having a missed miscarriage. I had a little blood but noghing else but the scan showed a very little sac with no sign of baby. They said that there is a small chance that everything might develop notmally and we will see something on next weeks scan.
But there is more chances for the miscarriage to happen.
I am totally terrified of going anywhere and start bleeding or start having horrible pains. But doing normal life helps to stop crying.
I have a 6 year old that still needs to get out of the house.
Written this before heading to town but I am petrified on the sofa.
I know everyone is different and so are pregnancies but I feel so lonely right now as can't talk to anyone.
Thanks for reading.

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nearlyreadytopop · 09/01/2016 14:24

I've been where you are - twice in fact. Once it had a happy outcome and the other time it didn't.
It's horrible being in limbo though, it felt like the longest fortnight of my life. Is there anyone in r l that you can talk to for support?

Kione · 09/01/2016 15:15

Yes my partner... But I just feel like I gone through everything with him. I just feel very strange.
They told me there is a tiny chance of a positive outcome and I feel cheated (by my body I guess) of being left on this horrible limbo

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Kione · 09/01/2016 16:56

What was the result of the first scan on the positive outcome one for you please?

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nearlyreadytopop · 09/01/2016 17:20

My cycles were very long. By the Drs calculation I should have been much further along than the first scan showed. I was told it was a blighted ovum but we should wait two weeks "just incase". Two weeks later there was a heartbeat. That was DS1 and my first preg.
I don't want to give you false hope really all you can do is wait.

redstrawberries101 · 09/01/2016 17:32

Didn't want to run and read. I've just miscarried at 12 weeks (baby died at 8+4 according to scan measurement but nurse thought the fetus was more developed than that when I passed it). I had bleeding during week 5-6 but the scan after that showed it was all ok. It's been such an emotional roller coaster that if I've learnt anything it's that only time will tell. There is no 'normal' at all and everyone's experiences are so different... One day I had symptoms and the next none but the baby was still ok at this point. It's incredibly hard but all you can do is take each day as it comes but do prepare for the worst as I personally feel that although it's just as hard, it's still better to be aware of the possibilities. So sorry you are going through this X

Kione · 09/01/2016 17:50

Thank you so much.
Dr said my amniotic sac was too small and they could not see a baby. They said it should grow double the size by next friday.
I am not feeling as sick today, I had coffe and egg for dinner which I could not face before. But The bleeding has not come back.
It is so weird not knowing.

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redstrawberries101 · 09/01/2016 22:16

It is really hard to be in the waiting period. Try keep yourself distracted, it really is a matter of passing the time X

Kione · 10/01/2016 10:34

I am trying, I have an aquarium so focusing on that :) its going to sparkle by the end of this week probably with a few new inhabitants.
Thanks for your words. Its good to talk to people that inderstand how it feels.

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LeotardoDaVinci · 10/01/2016 10:43

Kione, on my first baby my GP told me I'd miscarried and sent me in for a D&C where they scanned and discovered a heartbeat. DC is now a healthy teenager. On my second pregnancy the same thing happened, I didn't panic too much but then I did miscarry and it was heart breaking and distressing and no-one really can improve that for you if that is to be the case. However the one thing that really did help me was when I was told that I would feel better after my due date - and I did, not immediately but I began to feel less despairing about it. It helped. I went on to have another pregnancy which had no complications but the worry never stops - it is a horrible place to be in: worrying and not knowing. My coping mechanism was to assume everything was fine but, as you are doing: keep busy.

redstrawberries101 · 10/01/2016 10:59

Leo - if it took to the due date I don't know how I'll manage till then

Kione · 10/01/2016 11:41

Melvali, do you have other children or are you planning on trying again?
Because we will start again as soon as it is safe to do so. I am hoping to be pregnant by my due date. I know I might be dissapointed but it is difficult not to have hope.

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redstrawberries101 · 10/01/2016 11:47

This was our first.. I am hoping to start trying again ASAP, are you going to wait for a period? I've read such conflicting information.. Some try again as soon as bleeding stops but apparently the womb lining is too thin. Some say wait for one or two periods.

I would also like to be expecting by my due date but not sure how realistic that is and don't want to set myself up for a fall..

Do you have children?

LeotardoDaVinci · 10/01/2016 12:02

Melvali we had been years ttc for #2 - the 6 or so months to due date were a drop in the ocean of time grieving for those babies that didn't come.

redstrawberries101 · 10/01/2016 12:31

Sorry to hear that Leo, must be very tough

Kione · 11/01/2016 15:50

Melvali the Drs here say wait till the next period after the blood stops. Thats what I will do but I haven't even started bleeding yet.
I have a 6 year old and I realise how much mord painful must be if it is your first.
I my case I can focus on her but she is desperate for a sibling, she checks almost daily if my tummy is growing (and we hadn't told her I was pregnant) so even if she is a source of comfort it also adds to the pain when she talks about it or checks my tummy.

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redstrawberries101 · 11/01/2016 16:23

Thanks kione, do you mean you haven't started the physical miscarriage yet? Because it was our first I feel really anxious about how I'm going to get back to normal life, nothing will be quite the same again. It just feels like such a burden. If that makes sense.

Kione · 07/07/2016 10:37

I am not sure if I should revive this thread, but I want to say that I forgot the password and with all the events I didn't come back here and I left posts unanswered. I managed to get back into Mumsnet and I want to apologize to all for disappearing!

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