Need to scream why

(61 Posts)
EllieJayJay Fri 04-Dec-15 22:41:56

I want to kick and scream and yell why..

EllieJayJay Fri 04-Dec-15 22:44:43

We are going to say goodbye to our baby

ASAS Fri 04-Dec-15 22:47:51

flowers

RoTo72 Fri 04-Dec-15 22:50:52

Xxxx flowers

RoTo72 Fri 04-Dec-15 22:53:23

Ach sweetie. Wish there was something we could do to stop the hurt x

obsessedlex Fri 04-Dec-15 23:53:28

My mum sent me this link
psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
It's natural to feel like you want to scream xxx

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 00:00:08

I hate this pain

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 00:03:12

I just want my baby back and I have been told 101 times my baby wasn't viable by friends who have never experienced the pain of miscarriage

Not viable sends me into mad crazy lady moment

RoTo72 Sat 05-Dec-15 00:03:35

Awk Ellie xxx. It is horrendous. And atm I cant see I ever going. But surely I has to? Surely we can't go on like this forever xxxx

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:18:35

I want to be strong for others, I am wanting to help people

It's in my DNA to help people I believe it when I tell others it's not your fault, and I just am so lost - I don't know how to help myself

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:22:50

I spoke to a wonderful lady today who was so understanding I broke down in tears she spoke about how my baby would be put in a little white coffin and my little blanket could make him feel cosey

She said how we could write poems or letters to him and we could put them in his little white coffin and then we could sit in a room and say goodbye

RoTo72 Sat 05-Dec-15 01:30:24

That sounds lovely Ellie. Ud obviously rather not be in this situation, but it really sounds as peaceful as it possibly could be. Ur grieving the loss of ur baby. But yourself some slack and be selfish. U cant mind ua r look after us. Were a group here for each other. I really wish u peace love. If u need to chat msg me. Were all here for you xxx

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:37:35

Oh Ro X were going to get through this x

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:38:24

I am here for you too x

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:39:38

I think like me your trying to make sense of it all X

RoTo72 Sat 05-Dec-15 01:45:56

Of course we r. But to be honest I don't think it will ever make sense. Xxx

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:48:49

I don't think it will either

My baby is going to be put in a little white coffin

And that's supposed to give me closure

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:49:26

So I can knit a blanket for him

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 01:49:50

But why?

RoTo72 Sat 05-Dec-15 01:59:12

Iv no answer except that life can be cruel. It can be beautiful too, but sometimes ita cruel. Tbh today iv been mostly numb. Tomorrow I could be where you are now, I have been. I cant make.sense of any of it. I'm taking it blow by blow. And moat times that is what it is, a blow. I really wish I could put my arms round you and tell u everything will be ok. But we both know it wont. It will be hell, it will be bearable, it will be hell again. But we will get there, eventually. One day it wont be this bad. One day we wont ache so much. It will never go away, I foe one don't want it to, cos I will never forget. But one day we will be able to breathe again. Xxxx

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 02:03:45

I feel your arms around me I hope you feel them back xx

I spent an hour talking to the smaritians X

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 02:05:04

I asked for support via AIBU

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 02:05:29

I think we're forgotten we need hope x

EllieJayJay Sat 05-Dec-15 02:06:27

I can't even get drunk

HoundoftheBaskervilles Sat 05-Dec-15 02:12:37

Because Darling, sometimes it is what it is, I've had four MC, you do what you need to do.

I can tell you though that you'll get through. You will because you have to, these early days are so painful and raw. Do you have other DCs?

Take care of yourself.

You will be ok you know.

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