Need a Hand to Hold

[Derbygirl37]

On Sunday 11th October, I got my BFP (first on internet cheapy then on clearblue digital, which said 'pregnant 1-2'). Went to the doctors on the Monday who confirmed my EDD (4 weeks pregnant) and wanted to refer me for consultant led care and an early midwife appointment (type 2 diabetes).

Anyway, I started bleeding on Friday. Went to the doctors again and they said it could be a threatened miscarriage and I was to put my feet up, rest and monitor it to see what happened.

The bleeding turned into what seemed like a period but, and here's the weird thing, I only had lightish bleeding for 2 days and then brown spotting for 2 days. And no pain whatsoever. Now, my periods are usually heavy, last a good 4+ days and are horrendously painful. Since having my implant out, my first cycle was 30 days, then 24 days, 25, then 27. This bleeding would have started on the 32nd day of this cycle.

I have an appointment at the doctors late this afternoon to see what's going on but I did a test yesterday and it was completely and utterly negative. There was no doubt at all that it was negative.

I've been off work since the bleeding started and now I feel a fraud for having time off . I also thought I was coping with the emotional side but the midwife has just rung me (8:30 in the morning??!) for the first time and I've had to tell her I don't think I'm pregnant anymore. I'm in bits now and don't know what to do with myself

[ranchgirl]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is there anyone you can be with? Family? Friends? Don't worry about work, they will understand. And if they don't they're certainly not worth worrying about.

[Derbygirl37]

Thanks ranchgirl, nobody knows we're TTC apart from work and my best friend. To be fair, my work colleagues have been brilliant and really supportive, it's just the company itself I'm worried about. I've just had a letter saying my employment is at risk because of high sickness levels because of previous times off (I'd had 13 days off since the end of January). I just feel like people will think I shouldn't be getting upset because it was such an early loss xx

[ranchgirl]

A loss is a loss no matter how early. I've just lost a twin pregnancy at 5w & 6w. My hearts breaks for you. You're not on your own.

My advice would be to be as honest as possible with work. Can you go and see your GP? Make it official? Good luck xx

[Derbygirl37]

Yes, I have an appointment with the GP this afternoon. I'm so sorry for your loss too xx