TTC after miscarriage 8 weeks ago. First negative pregnancy test and feeling blue.

[Faybells]

Hello all.

I just need some encouragement i think. I had my first negative pregnancy test after TTC following my miscarriage 8 weeks ago and i am feeling blue and having a bit of a rant!

My miscarriage happened at 11+5 days pregnant. We ran into complications with heavy bleeding and ended up in a&e when i began passing out. I was eventually admitted and put on drips and went through horrible procedure while awake and without pain relief to have baby removed to stop bleeding. Was all extremely traumatic and gruesome. Took me a month or so to feel physically better - have been on iron tablets etc and looking after myself. Mentally things have been up and down but i am really feeling mucb better. We have just been on a lovely holiday to spain and feeling rejuvenated and have been TTC since my first period about 5 weeks after miscarriage. My body has been playing tricks on me and ive been getting mh hopes up as i have 'felt' pregnant..i did a pregnancy test which has come back negative. So i am now assuming these ptegnancy feelings are just pmt. Sore boobs, bad temper, slight cramping etc.

I guess i KNOW it is early days and it takes time and people keep saying dont rush it will happen when you are ready and well enough etc etc. But that does not bring much comfort. And i am feeling fed up. And i am now beginning to foresee all the ifs and buts and confusion about symptoms and anticipating pregnancy and that positive test and that awful 2 weeks wait again and again.

Can anyone share experiences? Good and bad? X

[Sophia1984]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I haven't had my first period since my miscarriage yet, but know what you mean about the constant awareness of symptoms. I feel every twinge in my abdomen and wonder if it's ovulation or PMT or implantation. I think it'll maybe take a few months for you to get back in tune with your body. We've decided not to TTC again straight away and I'm trying to see this time as set aside for me to prepare myself physically and emotionally for trying to get pregnant again. Have you been offered any counselling - it sounds like you had a really traumatic time :(

[MyBlackCat]

fay and sophia I'm so so sorry that you have experienced mc, it truly is a shitty unfair horrible thing to go through.

I had a mc at 10 weeks in June 14 - over the months of trying since it hasn't got easier, last cycle even though it was the 13/14th since mc I convinced myself that every twinge, sore boob, cramp was a sign of impending pregnancy but again it wasn't. I've had good months when I've been fairly calm and relaxed and others where it's constantly on my mind and getting pg occupies my every thought.

Take time to recover mentally as well as physically, I hope you both have successful pregnancies very soon x

[Faybells]

Thank you both. It just feels very confusing. As much as im trying to accept it will take time and to let myself relax and allow my body to settle - i just find it so hard. Some days im so preoccupied with the thought of being pregnant again. Other days i feel more relaxed. I guess thats how it will go. At the moment the symptoms are extremely confusing. My cycle seems about 4 days longer than usual - i guess thats still settling into a regular cycle...but it is whats making me think i could be pregnant or maybe not lol.

I wasnt offered any counselling after the miscarriage, the care we had was not the greatest unfortunately. But i have had some greag support from friends and family who have been fantastic. It really was a very tough time but i do feel so much better and stronger.

I will try to keep myself from worrying too much about getting pregnant and will just take it slowly and see what happens. Thanks for the advice and ancouragement :-)

[Northernlight22]

Sorry your feeling crappy x

[Slowcoach40]

Hi Faybells. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this - it's such a desperately horrible situation to be in to want something so much but not be able to control it. Of course you're dreading the constant 2 week wait and feeling all sorts of symptoms - I did exactly the same.

I have had 3 early miscarriages, one at 5 weeks and 2 at 9 weeks so earlier than you - and I know how traumatic I found the 9 week ones. I used ovulation sticks to track my ovulation and can't tell you how many pregancy sticks I went through, I was like a woman possessed...and each negative 'not pregnant' result was so miserable.

I've subsequently had 2 children who are wonderfully healthy and text book pregnancies so there is a lot of hope that this will happen for you too. The more I talk about my miscarriages the more of my friends tell me how they've had one too - it's common as are really positive future outcomes. It's so hard at the time and then when you get through it all and have a positive outcome, it all seems to fade away.

I hope you have lots of support around you - you sound like you're having such a tough time.