First Miscarriage

[SpeckledFrog2014]

I just need to get my story off my chest as I am so upset.

I started spotting old brown blood very lightly Tuesday morning at 5 weeks and five days and thought nothing of it as this was my second pregnancy and I spotted lightly with my first around 6- 7 weeks. I wasn't even going to go to the doctors! Then by the afternoon i was spotting bigger bits of still brown blood so went along and the usual EPAU was called and they were going to try and squash me in the following day. Over night though I started bleeding really heavily and it got worse and worse and I accepted I was having a miscarriage. When EPAU phone to tell me that they had an appointment for me that afternoon I let them know that I'm sure I've miscarried. They told me to go for the scan anyway and sure enough I had. I also had blood tests later than confirmed I had had a miscarriage.

Yesterday I felt fine although I was a bit concerned how I looked in the mirror, pale and very tired, but still felt fine. I now think it's the adrenaline as at the time I put it down to not being very far along, not being my first pregnancy and that I had had all night to accept the fact. Last night and today though I feel horrendous. I am sobbing constantly, am struggling with my lack of appetite as I still need to prepare food, am very tired and my body aches all over. I'm struggling to deal with all the blood as I am bleeding heavy and lots of clots and I feel I am trying to clean up my lost baby's life blood. I called my husband to see if he could come home from work as we have a 10 month old baby girl too as I feel as though I really need some time on my own, even if it's just upstairs. Unfortunately he is quite senior management at a uni and just can't leave although he is going to try and stay home tomorrow.

Can I ask also what and if you ladies made or bought a keepsake just to remind yourself of your babies no matter how tiny they were? I want to have something to keep hopefully to make my feelings tangible and in a way an inanimate thing to share my heavy heart.

[Sophia1984]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and I felt emotionally horrendous - I literally couldn't stop crying. I think the hormones associated with a miscarriage are responsible for the feeling of a loss of control (as well as the obvious sadness). You may also be feeling exhausted because of blood loss, so could take something like Floradix. I've also been taking Metatonic. The sadness seems to come and go, and I think that's completely normal. I have put a box together with things I had started to collect for my pregnancy (a soft toy cow from Cow & Gate). I also made a donation in the baby's memory to someone who is running the Great North Run for a miscarriage and still birth charity. I know other people plants trees, and some people buy jewellery. I hope you feel better soon xx

[chelle792]

I'm sorry this is short but I've been there. OH bought me a ring of what would have been her birth stone.

I second taking floradix.

It's devastating. Look after yourself xx

[SpeckledFrog2014]

Thank you both. I had a woven wrap arrive the day I went to hospital and although I did intend to use it for both babies I didn't think I would ever see it as a keepsake, but I found it is already very sentimental. It has cranes in flight on too, so it's something that has found us to remember

I've stopped bleeding this evening, but will still get some floradix as I am still tired and my next period may be heavy too.