2 mmc and trying to concieve again but struggling to have hope

(10 Posts)
acummings93 Wed 29-Jul-15 00:01:19

Hi all was wondering if anyone else has been through the same or similar in Feb this year we found out at our 12 week scan our baby had died at 9wks3days and took the option of having the medical treatment I then heamoragged and ended up being rushed to have an operation and a blood transfusion, once I'd recovered we caught pregnant again but went for an early scan this time as the morning sickness had stopped at around the same time that the previous one had died. At the scan we were told that the babys heart had stopped beating again this time at 8wks 6days. This time we chose to go straight for the d&c they said when I came out that I hadn't needed a transfusion this time but had bled too much again. Due to how much blood I lost both times I was sent for blood tests which they don't normally do until 3 losses and these have all come back as normal bar my HLA came back as half negative half positive so they sent this on to a specialist who has said that HLA does not cause miscarriage but can come about because of one and is normal. From what I have read this could be due to the blood transfusion I had and will go again. We have been told its safe for us to go ahead and try again but we just feel like there's no hope and like its never guna happen for us. We already have a Lil boy who is nearly 2 he was conceived by a previous partner, the pregnancy with him was completely straight forward and no complications. We both feel so anxious about next time, have wondered about asking for an early scan next time but then again what if the scan says its ok for it to still to die anyway in which case we will of been given false hope. So scared of having to go through all of that again. ��

3under4 Wed 29-Jul-15 22:58:49

Huge hugs to you, I completely understand where your coming from, there are no right or wrong answers, you must do what ever your heart tells you. Huge hugs xx

Itscurtainsforyou Wed 29-Jul-15 23:50:22

So sorry for what you've been through. Miscarriages are hideous experiences.

Over the last 5 years I've had:
One full term birth
One miscarriage at 5-6w
One late loss at 22w
Two miscarriages at 7w

I've been torn between despair and the urge to try again, sometimes on a daily basis. There is no right answer, just what is right for you. It might be that you have to give yourself some time out to work through everything in your head.

I know that they normally don't check for problems etc until after 3 miscarriages, but it might be worth asking if they can do any investigations. This way they can identify any obvious problems and treat them either prior to or during any more pregnancies.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

Beelzebop Wed 29-Jul-15 23:53:17

Hello my lovely,
Don't often post but wanted to give posoto

AnyFucker Wed 29-Jul-15 23:55:17

I am sorry x

it's a very personal thing as to whether you feel ready to ttc again

however, I had two mmc's in a row then the 3rd and 4th pregnancies stuck

good luck with whatever you decide thanks

Beelzebop Wed 29-Jul-15 23:56:32

Just a quick post to give you hope. I have suffered 10 miscarriages in total, 3 mmc. I have had many psychological issues because of this. However...... Upstairs my 7yr, 10yr and 14yr old are all softly snoring! Keep hoping! Good luck! Xxxx

acummings93 Mon 03-Aug-15 11:21:08

Thank you all and yes its curtains for you they did do some blood tests on me because of how I bled too much with both to try and find out why but couldn't find anything so said wed be able to try again once ready which wev decided to but its hard to even feel exited when I just can't help keep thinking its guna happen all over again xx

BumbleBee0 Mon 03-Aug-15 17:46:22

Hi, so sorry for your losses (and the other ladies losses on here particularly curtains and Beelze) flowers
I've also had 2mmcs, 1st sep14 found out around 12wks due to red spotting but baby had died around 9 wks (had medical management). 2nd jan15 started spotting pink (same as I had with mc1 so immediately thought worst), had scan around 6.5wks but scan showed empty sac 4.5wks, it took another 2 wks for me to miscarry naturally.
(I also have a dc who is 2 and was straight forward pregnancy etc.)

I felt like I couldn't try again without having some tests first so asked my gp who did blood screening (came back with factor v Leiden clotting disorder) and I also had uNK cells tested at coventry hospital. These came back elevated. I didn't pursue any further testing but felt my progesterone was probably too low. However, I knew I'd be on progesterone, clexane and steroids with next pg so felt confident trying again on these meds.
I'm now pg again and currently 10+2 wks and had 3 scans so far all showing everything is ok. I was so scared for those first 2 scans but I'd have been a wreck if I'd not had them at all. Now actually looking forward to my next scan tomorrow.

Maybe you could ask your gp if they'd carry out any other tests (such as thyroid, progesterone ). Or if you can afford it, go private. The uNK cells biopsy cost me £360. If you'd like any further info on this, pls pm me.

Good luck and you have every reason to beleive you will have your baby next time, but I know it's so hard to beleive it at the moment. x

farfallarocks Tue 04-Aug-15 13:37:01

You poor thing, its such a dark time that I remember well.
It could be bad luck but if I were you I would have the NK cells test before trying again just to rule it out. I had 2 MCs in a row, then a successful 3rd pregnancy with treatment (clexane, progesterone) then another MC and now I am 24 weeks with a lot of treatment including steroids and intralipids.

acummings93 Tue 04-Aug-15 23:55:33

Thanks again guys I had some in depth blood tests done which they only usually do after 3 MCs because of how I bled too much with the other MCs I can't remember what they all were but they all came back as normal I no they tested for thyroid and progesterone but I can't remember if they did the NK cells one or not... I wish I'd asked them to print out the results for me how do I go about asking for private screening? Also because they said it would be OK to try again if we wanted we have so I'll no if I'm pregnant or not in 2 weeks can I still get tested for these NK cells if I'm pregnant? If I am pregnant and they won't test for them and I miscary again will I automatically get all the free fertility treatment I need or should I start saving now? Feel so hopeless like I can't even be exited about it now if I do get a positive result I don't dare let myself get so exited again sad feel like I'm just setting us up for another heartbreak but its the only way that were going to no I can't take going to another scan to have to see my dead baby on the screen again heartbreaking to see my partner go through it time and time again too its so horrible having to see someone you love go through so much pain and there's nothing I can do about it sad xx

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