What happens physically with the different options of "ending" a missed miscarriage?

(12 Posts)
theaftermath Mon 22-Jun-15 21:25:48

Just that really... MMC discovered at private scan at 11 wks.

Appt tomorrow at hosp where I think I have to choose what happens next as still no bleeding.

I don't want to "wait" so I think I have option of surgery or tablet / pessary to hurry along the "natural" process.

I'm sorry if this sounds really cold or insensitive but if anyone is prepared to share with me what happened to them physically I would be really grateful. I don't like the idea of surgery and General anaesthetic but also really scared of all the bleeding and of "passing" the baby.

I hope this doesn't come across wrong. I'm so full of emotions and just trying to get some facts where I can.

Do any of the options impact on fertility or conception chances next time round?

And do you have to have lots of follow ups if you don't have the surgery? I am lucky to have a DC already and i work so I sort of want it done as efficiently as possible... If that doesn't sound awful.

Hugs to everyone who's gone through this... flowers

Brummiegirl15 Mon 22-Jun-15 21:39:42

Not at all. It's important to ask people so you know what is right for you.

I've had 3 mc's and 2 of those have had the surgery. My first one was quite early and was natural.

I did not want the pill / medical miscarriage because I was scared. I didn't think I could cope with the pain and brutality of it and with my 2nd mc I was in agony and had to have morphine and I could not have carried on with that pain.

For me, I needed to close my eyes, go to sleep and have it all be over. And it was.

I had no pain, no bleeding - in fact barely spotting. The GA made me tired but it was more a case of recovering emotionally.

Admittedly I have no dc yet so I didn't need to consider childcare for going into hospital and I know sometimes that logistics determine the decision.

But surgery was 110% right for me. I'm pregnant again, for the 4th time. And god forbid if it ever happened again I would not hesitate to have the surgery

I'm so sorry flowers

HumphreyCobbler Mon 22-Jun-15 21:44:36

I have had both kinds. I hated the medical one much more than the surgical one, being confronted by the physical evidence of what I was losing was distressing. It hurt a fair bit but I had good pain relief. I found the surgical option easier tbh, but then I don't mind GA much.

Sorry to hear you have lost your baby.

Erica21 Mon 22-Jun-15 21:56:05

Hi after, firstly I'm so sorry for your loss, miscarriage is awful and a mmc is a real shock. I had a mmc found at my 12 wk scan last July.

I will describe my experience and I hope it's not too graphic for you...
12 wk scan showed baby died around 10 wks, the scan was on the Thursday. Hospital only offered natural loss option or surgical option ERPC, no 'medical mgmt' in Kent seems to be offered. I was put on the waiting list for the following weds for the ERPC as I was paranoid about losing baby at home. I wasn't happy about waiting 6 days for surgery and made a bit of a song and dance. They moved the ERPC to the Monday.
Sadly I lost the baby at home on the Saturday. My waters broke and baby passed out, which I then put into a little pot. The hospital said I could take the baby to them for cremation, as I couldn't face other options such as planting a tree with the baby underneath.
The doctor I saw described natural loss as a 'heavy menses' and I found this very unhelpful. I passed a lot of clots and blood once the baby and passed out, maybe spent a couple of hours on the toilet to start with.
I still had to have the ERPC on the Monday as I had retained product. I actually found the surgery very easy, GA was fine and was out for about 30 mins. I had very little bleeding and my periods returned normally, although that's not everyone's experience.
I waited a month for my periods to return, and fell pregnant again quickly, but sadly lost the pregnancy due to a large blood clot.
I then waited 6 months to ttc again (I slipped a disc in the meantime so had to recover) and am now pg again.
I too have a DC, and work, but I mainly wanted the ERPC not to experience what I actually did in the end. If you have no problems with general anaesthetic then do consider it.
Some people say you are most fertile after a mc, and Drs advise waiting a month for dating purposes, but I think in my experience I would wait a couple of months before ttc, but only you will know what's right.
I do wish someone had been more upfront about the realities of MC, but I hadn't found this support until after it had happened. There's also a link to 'coping with the practicalities' of MC further down the threads, sorry I haven't got the link for you.
I hope this helps, happy to answer anything else if it helps you, and again, sorry for your loss, it's a very hard thing to go through flowers x

Artistic Mon 22-Jun-15 22:16:39

I had the surgery. Couldn't face any other option. The emotional loss was big enough for me without any visual of lost baby to go with it. The surgery was smooth, recovery was fast but still took a few weeks to feel fit again. The emotional pain is something that lives on many years & DC later. Sorry for your loss, choose the option that's kindest to you.

Purpleprickles Mon 22-Jun-15 23:23:27

So sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage too with no bleeding at all. I opted for the Erpc and despite being terrified as if was my first ever surgical procedure it really was the easiest part of this awful experience. Good luck flowers

Ahhhcantthinkofagoodname Tue 23-Jun-15 06:42:40

So sorry for your loss OP. I had a MMC at 9 weeks a couple of months ago, baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks. I opted for medical management after being steered that way by the doctor at the hosp (he said there was more chance of infection and damage to the womb or tubes with surgery - not sure how true this is tho) even though he made a thing of giving me all options.

Anyway for me, physically, it really wasn't too bad. I had a weird shivering reaction for about half an hour a few minutes after the pessaries were inserted, and then started getting moderately strong stomach and back cramps. I went home and curled up in bed with a hot water bottle. I alternated co codimol provided by the hospital and ibuprofen. The pain was unpleasant but def not unbearable. I was v thirsty so drank loads. About 7 hours after pessaries were inserted I was on the toilet having a wee and heard a couple of plops. I saw loads of blood coming out too. I assume that was the sac being passed cos after that the cramps eased right off and then I had a further 10 days of gradually lightening period style bleeding. I hated the thought of flushing the baby away but there was nothing solid when I fished around in he toilet bowl.

I found myself extremely hungry and thirsty for several days after.

I then had a bit of a stressful time after worrying about retained products as I was still getting positive preg tests till 4 weeks after the medical management. I ended up having a scan which confirmed everything had passed. Having spent a lot of time on these boards, I gather this is relatively normal.

Well that's the physical side of it. Emotionally it's pretty horrible and I'm sure the sadness of it all is exacerbated by hormones crashing around.

Reading these boards, some people seem to have quite difficult experiences with medical management if the baby is a bit bigger (there's a big difference between a 7 week foetus and a 11 week foetus) so I would take the size of the foetus into consideration when deciding, hopefully they will tell you when yours stopped developing so you can do this...

Hope it goes smoothly whichever route you go for xx

Ahhhcantthinkofagoodname Tue 23-Jun-15 06:46:25

Ps re follow ups,I had an appt 2 weeks after the procedure and cos preg test was positive I had to come back at 3 weeks. These spots were quite frustrating, had to wait ages to wee on a stick, when I knew what the result would be as I had done home preg tests! They we're going to get me in again at 4 weeks but I pushed for a scan. They also did blood tests at these appts which showed hcg level falling...

sebsmummy1 Tue 23-Jun-15 06:55:52

I had a MMC a few months ago, baby was measuring just over 11 weeks. They wouldn't recommend medical management over 9 weeks so my choice was either surgery under local (2 week wait) or surgery under GA (couple of days wait) or let the body do it's own thing naturally.

There was no way I could deal with passing the baby naturally, particularly since my body had no idea there was a problem and we would have to kick start the process with drugs. Plus as it was my third MC I wanted the baby tested and so surgery was absolutely right for me.

We found out later the baby had a disability incompatible with life. It was good to get an explanation.

So sorry you are having to deal with this theaftermath sad

wonkylegs Tue 23-Jun-15 07:10:29

I had a mmc last December at 15wks.... I had several weeks of waiting as they weren't sure on the scans so had to keep going back - this was torture. I was then convinced against my misgivings to try medical management (DH is a Dr and felt if I could avoid the risks of surgery he would be happier)
Unfortunately apart from making me cramp terribly and very very sick 2 doses of the medical did bugger all. So I ended up with an ERPC under GA. Physically it was fine, I was very tired afterwards and had bleeding rather like my regular period for about 10days. Emotionally it opened the floodgates, I woke up crying from the GA and found it very difficult to stop. This was difficult for me as I'm not usually that emotional.
We started to TTC a month later and as of yet have no joy.

jaffajiffy Tue 23-Jun-15 07:14:57

I've had three MC. No 1 was spontaneous and "just" a heavy period. V distressing emotionally though. No 2 was medical management and it was ok physically. Laboured for two hours and then passed the sac. I felt quite empowered and involved and "with" my baby and my loss. No 3 was erpc under a local. Physically it was pain-free. But it was by far the most traumatic as I felt helpless watching with my legs akimbo as the (very kind) doctor rummaged and hoovered my baby out. One lovely nurse was crying and clasping my hand, which was supremely, supremely irritating at the time. The benefit obv was no general and none of the associated risks, but I wasn't prepared for the trauma. I went home half an hour later and physical recovery was straightforward.
In the same situation I might opt for the general next time.
Ps I had ds1 a year later and now pg with ds2. It's been quite a journey and I send every good wish both for now in your loss and for the future when/if you're ready to try again.

theaftermath Tue 23-Jun-15 12:59:39

Thanks for all the posts. I was all set to go for surgery but am going to go for medical management as have had fertility probs before so would rather not go under the knife again.

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