Communal funeral after miscarriage

[Natashajade2727]

Can anybody relate, i had a miscarriage on the 3rd January as I just turned 7 weeks pregnant with a planned pregnancy. We were completely distraught as the process in the hospital is an awful thing to have to cope with! But anyway just as we are starting to get back on track I receive a letter in the post informing me on the communal cremation taking place on the 26th February and inviting us along! I am one person that could not even think of not going now that I have received the letter I had no idea about! I didn't even know this type of thing happens. Has anybody else been to one before I want to know what to expect. It's says on the letter we are welcome to take flowers to put in the baby garden and we are aware there may be up to 15other babies/foetus remains whatever people call it personally. But has anybody else experienced this? Xx thankyou!

[bakingtins]

I had my first MC in hospital due to complications with a natural Mc and the remains were cremated at a monthly service for lost LOs. We didn't go and the impression I got was that it was very much optional, not that there will be 14 other couples there thinking "wtf are couple x?" I did write a prayer to be included in the service and written in the book of rememberance, which I have found a comfort. Phone the chaplain, I'm sure you'll find it's more about treating human remains with due respect than any expectation that you'll go along, unless you'll find it helpful to be there.

[KittyandTeal]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

We have recently been through a tfmr at 22 weeks. We were informed that we could arrange a service or ask the hospital to. The paperwork we were given basically says (in much nicer terms) that a service will be held for our baby if we are there or not. It is obviously the hospitals way of dealing with remains respectfully.

Looking at it objectively, they have to cremate the remains of babies anyway so they may as well invite parents to come too. Don't feel you have to go though, you have been invited as a way of helping you through the grieving process if you feel it might help. If you don't think it will then don't go. No one will judge or mind either way.