Can someone talk to me about early miscarriage/loss? 4w+5

[YussMinister]

I tested positive on Monday, on Friday night started bleeding and have been bleeding like a period all day today (Saturday) so assume it's miscarriage.

Should I try and tell myself this is like a late period? I haven't told my GP or hospital. When can we start ttc again? Anyone else tested positive and then almost immediately lost it? I feel a bit lost as no-one irl to talk to, even DH is a bit blase tbh.

[PassTheGinBottle]

Hello yuss. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you may have experienced a chemical pregnancy. I'm no expert though, and it may be something else. There is lots of info on chemical pregnancies (horrible phrase) online. You don't need to tell yourself this is just a late period, you can allow yourself to grieve properly.

Much love

[VashtaNerada]

So sorry to hear this. I would let your GP know, just in case things aren't as they seem, but it does sound like an early MC to me

[chucklingbunny]

Firstly Minister. I had an early miscarriage at 6w+4 and it was very much like a heavy period, I'd only just found out I was pregnant too. With a positive test I would advise you to see your GP and ask for a referral to your local early pregnancy clinic. They will do a scan to check it is a 'complete miscarriage' as it is called. It's important to make sure all is well before trying again as it can be very dangerous if anything is left in there.
That's the practical bit, however you have still suffered a loss. Once you have a positive test you are picturing your baby in your arms (at least I was) and shouldn't let anyone tell you any different. If you need to grieve you must allow yourself to and give yourself time to adjust before trying again. There are support groups for miscarriage it's worth googling. I can also recommend a book I found helpful called 'Hidden Loss' which directly addresses the feelings and experiences of women who've lost their babies in early pregnancy as well as later on. The title says it all, it's still a taboo subject many people don't acknowledge that a miscarriage is the loss of a child to you and your partner but this is what it is. Sending you big hugs I hope you are successful in trying again but for now, get yourself checked out and allow yourself to mourn your baby, many people say 'well it could have been worse' for an early miscarriage. My view on this is it's bollocks! The worst has happened, your baby is gone, it doesn't matter how early in pregnancy you are, a loss is a loss. Time helps, I hope you feel better soon. xxx

[YussMinister]

Thank you for replying. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks years ago, and that felt very different (emotionally and physically).

It sounds like this was a chemical pregnancy then. I don't want to go to the GP or EPU, is that dumb? Assuming this carries on like a normal period then I want to wait for it to pass and then pick myself up and try again - is that ill-advised?

[PassTheGinBottle]

As long as you take a pregnancy test and it comes up negative then that usually indicates that all the pregnancy hormones (and therefore tissue) are gone.

However, EPUs can be very helpful and supportive. It may help you to give your nearest unit a call and talk to them.