I need to moan

[passthesaltplease]

I have had three miscarriages now (and one DD), most recent mc being in June. Today my best friend told me she's pregnant. I am really happy for her, but there is also part of me aching with jealousy and it makes me feel like a total cow.

How can I get rid of this horrible jealousy and focus being happy and supportive for this lovely, lovely pal?

[MehsMum]

Oh, OP...
Many years ago I had a miscarriage, while a baby group friend I saw all the time carried on being pregnant. I felt sick with envy and really pissed off - and I remember it so well. So I do know, a little bit, how you feel. It's horrible.

You sound like a fabulous friend, and if your friend deserves you, she'll understand about your history of mcs and understand that you must be comparing your experience to hers. You are not a total cow, and the jealous feeling will ease as the months go by.

[passthesaltplease]

Thank you much for your message.

I'm just so bloody emotional! I'm over the moon for her and equally lovely DH, I'm worried for them in case it doesn't work out, I'm thinking of my three losses, I'm excited for my DD (eventually, one day) playing with friend's child, and I'm sad because I think I'm out this month as I'm 2 days away from AF, crampy, and BFN.

Blargh.

I know it'll ease. I just needed to write it down I think.

Thank you for listening!

[MehsMum]

No problem. Hope you feel a bit better today.

[thesmallbear]

Hi OP, my friend gave birth literally two days after I lost my baby. It was bloody hard tbh. I think it is possible to be happy for someone and jealous of them at the same time. It sounds like a contradiction and probably is, but it's possible. I think it helps that she lives abroad so I don't have to see the baby (apart from Facebook pictures that I can hide from my feed). She's coming home for Christmas though and I honestly don't know how I'm going to deal with it

Sending hugs