will i ever 'move on'?

[blueeyedbabe7]

Hi my first post on here, i miscarried on 5th april this year since then i have not been able to go a day without thinking about it, currently im going through separation with my partner too so been feeling really down this week, a friend of mine recently told me i need to 'move on', not forget but move on and not live in the past. when i think about it i feel so down and just cry, i have a msg in my hospitals memorial book and im in contact with the miscarriage assosiation, just wanted support from others that know what im going through. If im in a shop or somewhere and the song let me go comes on i just freeze and feel so sad. Does it get any better ? thanks for any advice etc

[thesmallbear]

Hi blue, I miscarried in June and think about it pretty much constantly so you are not alone! I think we will move on but it's a gradual process and takes longer than people think. You have the added stress of your break-up so no wonder you are feeling low. Have you considered counselling? Your GP should be able to refer you.

[bakingtins]

it does get better, but it takes longer than you might think. It is more difficult to cope with when life is stressful in other ways or on significant dates like anniversaries or due dates. I found it significantly easier once I got past EDD, less thinking about what stage I "should have been" at. Would doing something else to honour the memory of the baby help? Buy a special piece of jewellery/ light candle/ release balloon/ charity gift/ plant something?
Getting through grieving is a series of little steps. If you'd lost a significant family member nobody would be surprised you weren't "over it" a few months later. You can't grieve to someone else's timescale, but if you feel you are not finding it any easier as time passes then seek some counselling.

[EmberElftree]

I'm the same as you and thesmallbear blue, and agree with baking tins you cannot grieve to someone else's timescale.

We were told that there was no heartbeat on 20th April and I then miscarried 22 days later naturally at home on 11th May.

I haven't cried for a while yet which is great but I still feel very sad about it and how it may affect our future chance of having a baby.

I bought a necklace and a bracelet to remember our baby by I wear the necklace every day x

[Mrsm14]

hey, for those that aren't already on it - we have a thread on here called emotions after miscarriage, which I have just written on so it should be bumped to the top. It is full of lovely ladies (like smallbear!) talking about how they are feeling. It's ongoing, so pop on there if you need some support xx