Grandparent.... I feel like I shouldn't be upset.

(3 Posts)
Petradreaming Sat 16-Aug-14 17:50:45

Hello

I am not sure if I should post here but I felt that you ladies may have some experience that may help me get my head round this.

My 17 year old daughter mc last week. She was just over 10 weeks pregnant and the scan showed the baby died at 6weeks + 4days.

I had suspected that something wasn't quite right before the scan and thought I was prepared but it has been horrendous. My daughter mc naturally and watching her in such pain at such a young age was awful... but now she seems to be ok. I however am just distraught... at the fact my girl had to go through this and at the loss of my grandchild. I hide it from my daughter but I cant stop crying.

She has said she wants to try again... and I am terrified for her.

Most of all I feel silly. I should be dealing with this better. I should not be the one upset.

how does a grandparent 'move on'

Olive1987 Sat 16-Aug-14 19:01:50

It's still very raw if it was only a week ago. It's a horrible thing to go through especially at such a young age. Every body takes different amount of time, that goes for mums dads and grandparents too. Don't ever feel silly for being upset, you're not silly, you're grieving. I know everyone says it, but time really is a healer. I'm so sorry that she and you have gone through this and I wish her luck for next time.

longestlurkerever Sat 16-Aug-14 20:14:38

Hello. I am sorry for your loss. You will have had hopes and dreams for your grandchild too that have been dashed just the same.

I know my mum has been hurt by my miscarriages, though she claims to be upset for me. You might find it helpful to do something to mark your grief- planting something,buying a special piece of jewellery, going to church or a special place just to think are all things people on this site have done and found healing.

In terms of supporting your daughter it Is a tricky one. There are lots of wrong things to say and not too many helpful ones but she probably will want to talk. She will want her loss acknowledged but if you are too overtly sad she will feel guilty. I am very aware of any body having let my husband and our mums down too and it's not a nice feeling. She will be feeling physically grotty and hormonal on top of what you're feeling so will need a bit of tlc and some time off work or college or whatever will help her too.

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