Grateful for advice please

(9 Posts)
verybigsigh Sat 16-Aug-14 08:25:30

Hi I'm wondering if anyone can advise me please, I've been ttc 2nd dc since 2011. Have had 4 mc, the last one a suspected ectopic and requiring erpc. Then referred to St Mary's who have done all tests and found nothing wrong aside from potential TEG but they can only test for and treat this if and when am next pregnant. For my DC and all mc I have become pg within 1-3 cycles however this time around we have been trying since Jan 2014 and nothing. I was taking the approach of no caffeine no alcohol etc but started to relax that a little. Thought I could be this month - cycles are regular 28 days but cd28 came along and no af. Cd29 tiny bit of pink and now cd30 and brown and red blood this morning. I hadn't poas. Last night I had one glass of wine and now torturing myself that I was pg but have caused a mc with the alcohol. I'm going a bit mad with it all and just needed to get this down I suppose. It's all taking a bit of a toll on our relationship. Just feeling sad.

verybigsigh Sat 16-Aug-14 08:27:57

So the advice I'm after I suppose is-if you were in my situation would you be not drinking etc or would you be living your life a little bit? I can't decide what is best. We are no spring chickens by the way, I'm 37 dp 40, if that makes any difference!

CMOTDibbler Sat 16-Aug-14 08:30:33

I'm so sorry for all your losses. Rest assured, that there is no way that you could have caused a mc by having one glass of wine.
Maybe take a little break from ttc and spend a couple of months off the terrible rollercoaster to reconnect and take some time to grieve together?

CMOTDibbler Sat 16-Aug-14 08:32:18

Oh, and yes, live your life a little. I'm not saying binge drink or mainline espresso, but have a coffee, have a glass of wine or two when you fancy it.

bakingtins Sat 16-Aug-14 08:36:30

Live a little, one glass of wine can't cause a MC. Come and join the RMC thread on this board for a bit of support, if it would help. Many of us have found it makes a difference not to be alone with it all.

MissSmiley Sat 16-Aug-14 08:54:33

Someone I know has had a new test for mc at Care. Her clinic don't test for this as everyone is on clexane anyway. Either you or your partner can be positive. Turned out she was positive. I think you take clexane to counteract it. She's having IVF anyway but her mc where natural conceptions.
Sorry it's a bit vague but I don't know any more than that.

verybigsigh Sun 17-Aug-14 09:38:10

Thankyou everyone for your reassurance and advice. Since yesterday morning I have only had a small amount of brown when wiping so who knows what's going on with my body, certainly haven't properly started af - wierd.

thesmallbear Sun 17-Aug-14 12:42:11

verybigsigh I think you should take a pregnancy test and then you'll know for sure if you're pregnant or if your AF is just being a bit weird this month.

When ttc I drink as normal up until I'm fertile and then stop drinking on my fertile days up until my next period. If my period comes I allow myself to drink again, if not and I'm preggers I don't drink. The month I got pregnant (later miscarried) I had one lager shandy after I'd conceived (but didn't know as it was too early to test) and on another day 1 vodka and coke (again before I knew I'd conceived). TBH it was so early that it was very unlikely to have implanted at that stage, so very unlikely to have been feeding off me. I certainly don't attribute my miscarriage to those two drinks.

You can't put your whole life on hold as obviously there is no knowing how long things will take.

verybigsigh Sun 17-Aug-14 19:08:37

Hi the smallbear thanks for your message and sorry to hear about your mc. I guess I should probably poas although have had some more brown bleeding today.

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