I'm having a day where it's just all too much, don't think I've stopped blubbing for more than 20 mins all morning.
I miscarried last week, took myself to A&E on the Sunday evening after the spotting I'd been having since the previous day got heavier. While we were waiting the bleeding got much heavier and I knew for certain what was happening. I won't go into the details but after a lot of waiting around feeling helpless (I'm a bit of a control freak at the best of times) I had an ERPC and was finally discharged after 2 nights I hospital.
I've had lots of ups and downs since then but had been feeling like I was getting myself out of a pit. In fact I'm going back to work tomorrow.
Just found out that my car has a major fault which will be really expensive to fix. We just plain can't afford it. Got married 3 months ago so that took most of our savings, we have committed to a major bathroom renovation which is taking all our emergency funds. Oh and we're due to go on honeymoon next week.
I'm fretting about moneywhether we could manage with just 1 car/ whether this bleeding will have slowed before the honeymoon/why am I still feeling so sick/why I let myself think everything was ok with this baby because we'd got to 10 weeks/ will I get a period while were away/ when to start TTC
I know the hormones are playing a part, but I'm normally such a decisive confident person. I can't get a handle on anything at the moment. I manage a big team at work and know I'll have to be sitting down doing 1-1s with everyone for mid-year appraisals. Will I be able to get through those without falling apart? I don't want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable
for those of you that are a bit further on, please give me some hope. I don't even recognise myself at the moment
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Feeling totally overwhelmed
4 replies
northdownmummy · 13/08/2014 14:23
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