My dating scan did not detect a heartbeat on the 21st of July, meaning that my precious second child was already living with the angels. another scan 8days later confirmed this and I attended hospital on Monday the 4th and then all day on the 6th to give birth to my baby.
I know I am not alone and plenty of women have suffered as I am, but how do you manage to carry on and live life afterwards? Simply, I can't cope. I tend to put on a brave face and tell people how I'm looking forward to this and that but I'm in turmoil. Knowing I'll never hold my baby or smell his newborn smell haunts me, and I keep on picturing him somewhere without me to look after him and be there if he ever needed me. I'd probably had contemplated suicide if I didn't have a 20month old baby but obviously would never leave her without her Mummy.
Please anybody who has been through this or knows of any, give me some advice? Maybe I'm just looking for somebody else who understands because nobody around me seems to. the amount of people who have told me that 'I will have more children'(!!!!!!) how can I just replace my precious angel with other babies? it's horrendous to even think about!
I may sound pathetic but I'm so desperate for somebody to just listen and talk to me.. I have never felt so lonely in my life. and I sure have never hurt so much before. I know I'm lucky as I have my little girl who brings me endless joy even when I'm hurting but that isn't going to take away the grief of my Angel Baby
Xxx
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
how does life just go on?
3 replies
Ljialnye · 09/08/2014 08:29
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