Miscarriage 4 weeks today

(12 Posts)
impatientlywaiting14 Wed 18-Jun-14 00:39:16

Have been feeling better and more positive but feeling sad tonight/today xxxx

ots Wed 18-Jun-14 07:37:36

Hugs to you Impatiently I've found myself having good and bad days too. Mine was 3 weeks ago and today would've been my dating scan sad . Feel free to pm me any time xx

Catlover2014 Wed 18-Jun-14 09:01:04

Just wanted to say hello I know it's such a hard journey. Congratulate yourself on the good days but give yourself kindness on the bad ones. X

Marmaladecat1 Wed 18-Jun-14 09:06:23

Hello, mine was 3 weeks ago on Sunday.
I am also still feeling pretty up and down.
Petrified it will happen again and petrified I won't get pregnant again in equal measure.
The sadness I feel I just can't describe.

I'm sorry for your losses

Worried22 Wed 18-Jun-14 18:23:33

Mine was four weeks ago too, I feel sadder this week too. Have any of you had for first period after mc yet? I'm about to come on and really scared of the pains and bleeding reminding me of what happened. I also don't know whether to expect more clots than normal?

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 18-Jun-14 19:38:58

HI ots
I remember your post from a few weeks ago That must be really tough for you such a significant date (of many) sad Hugs to you hopefully the good days increase really soon for you xxxx flowers

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 18-Jun-14 19:59:03

HI catlover
Its a journey that can not truly be understood unless you have unfortunately experienced it for yourself and Im sorry that you have had to, such a horrible experience. My Nan passed away a few years ago it was a terrible time for me and this is the only thing that has come close to that feeling. I have been having good days now and allowing myself to feel sad on my bad days last night/today was tough as i was thinking about it and also hubby had to have a scan done today as unwell so all a bit near the bone really. I hope you are also taking it easy and being kind to yourself xxxx flowers

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 18-Jun-14 21:14:40

Hi Marmalade cat
Its really tough and the sadness is hard to describe and unique. Three weeks is tough. For me i started to feel a bit more settled after the first 2 weeks and felt worse today as its 4 weeks today i had the scan to confirm the miscarriage. Before this happened i was also fearful of not getting pregnant as i found out last year i have Endometriosis which made this harder and bittersweet as i know i can at least get pregnant but had to also suffer a loss.

I am also scared of it happening again. Its easy for others to say "dont worry it will be fine next time or "dont worry it was a one off next time will be different" but until you are out of the other side of it with your baby in your arms you will always wonder is it something wrong with you and is it going to be recurring. I had surgery a few months ago so am hoping it was just due to it being a bit too soon after the surgery and i needed to heal more and things to be a bit more settled.
I hope things settle a bit more for you too and im sorry for your loss.hugs xxxx flowers

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 18-Jun-14 21:29:48

Worried22 Wed 18-Jun-14 18:23:33
Mine was four weeks ago too, I feel sadder this week too. Have any of you had for first period after mc yet? I'm about to come on and really scared of the pains and bleeding reminding me of what happened. I also don't know whether to expect more clots than normal?

Hi Worried
I'm sorry for your loss and yes its still very soon. I think i'm about to come on too as had the familiar aching in my belly a good few days now and some blood in discharge (sorry if tmi). I'm not feeling too concerned about the pain as it was only about 10 days after my missed period i started to bleed. i feel it was a chemical pregnancy but could get no confirmation on this at the hospital. as much as i don't look forward to it i want to start af so my body can go back to normal. an abscence of af is a daily reminder .

I'm really not sure about the clots and what you can expect pain wise. It would depend on the person and how far along you were even then its hard to say and im no doctor. Have u got lots of support to get you through? big hugsss xxxx flowers

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 18-Jun-14 22:02:54

I found that after i brought some little items personal to me to acknowledge my loss i felt better and more settled. I also had a look on google images for a special little poem or image that marks the loss which i know the meaning behind but not others and had updated my profile and cover picture with those.

I also found the miscarriage association a helpful site it has lots of practical information and support, how to mark your loss try gain ect. There's a forum on there which looks helpful. You can also call them. i did around a week after the loss, the lady i spoke to was lovely really kind and caring and also offered me practical information as i explained i had no confirmation on whether it was a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage, as a chemical pregnancy would make me feel better. She explained a chemical pregnancy in a way it had never been explained before and it actually really helped.

She also told me about the forget-me-not meadow. You can write a message to or for your baby and they add it into the meadow its kept on there indefinitely. There is also a lights of love tree to remember your baby at Christmas. I have written a little message to mark the 4 weeks and also created a pin interest board and compiled images and poems that are special to me and sum it up and feeling a little better about it.

I feel its all really helped and without doing it i would be a much worse place than i am in now xxxx

SimplyComplicated Wed 18-Jun-14 22:10:12

Firstly just want to say how sorry I am for your loss... It's such a difficult time to be going through, but try and be kind to yourself and be reassured that sad days are a normal part of it.

It's been just over 6 weeks since my mc, and although I generally feel like I'm doing a bit better now I still have 'down days' Even when I'm having a good day the odd bad half our or so will sometimes creep in. For me I am finding it extremely difficult being around babies or pregnant women, as for now, it is still too painful a reminder of what could have been. I know that in time this will get easier though. I think it's important not to get frustrated or angry with yourself for having an off day, and to keep reminding yourself that it is normal and understandable but that in time things will get easier.

I have also just finished my first period and for me I can say that it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Slightly heavier than normal, and a bit more crampy than usual but nothing to stop me doing things as normal. Initially I was quite upset as it was a reminder that I wasn't actually pregnant, but that then changed to reassurance that things were actually getting back to normal. I know that everyone is different and therefore have a different experience when their first period arrives but just thought I would share how it was for me.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you xx

Cee22 Thu 19-Jun-14 15:14:01

Hi everyone, I'm sorry about your losses. I had a MMC almost 8wks ago and have been reading Mumsnet forum as part of the healing process. The first 3wks were the hardest for me. I've never experienced grieving like this and I was so afraid that I was going to a dark place. I had problems sleeping at night and during quiet moments would suddenly feel very emotional. Thankfully DH was such a good listener/supporter and feel that I have made a good recovery, although at times I do feel sad. When I see bumps on the street, I always wonder would mine have been that big. I'm still waiting on my first period but have had a longer cycle in the past. I am afraid of miscarriage again but we will have to try to be positive and keep praying. All the best for all you Ladies xx

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