Happy stories please!

(85 Posts)
Catlover2014 Fri 13-Jun-14 08:35:10

Thought some of the recent mc ladies might like to hear some positive stories so I'm starting this thread.

If you or someone you know got your happy ending please share on here.

I need something to keep me hoping and trying!!!

XXX

Catlover2014 Wed 25-Jun-14 17:39:57

Igggi that's great to hear. I haven't started NK tests yet but if I do have a third miscarriage I will ask my GP to refer me to see Prof Q to rule that one out.

I'm going to go back on my fertility drugs and will start TTC after my next period. Really anxious as I feel worried I will miscarry again but I know it's something I have to go through if I want that baby in my arms one day.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I might get extra scans / help if I do get a BFP? At the moment im being offered one at 8 weeks and another at 12. I don't feel that's enought tbh.

X

Igggi Tue 24-Jun-14 23:09:52

Quite a common pattern with women who are diagnosed with high NKC - had one dc, then started the cycle of early miscarriages and had four within a year and a half. I threw money we didn't have at it, tried every treatment going, and had ds2 in my early 40s.
Life is very good now smile but I could still list the due dates of every baby who didn't make it. It's a hard road, and I wish everyone could get their happy ending.

Catlover2014 Thu 19-Jun-14 20:22:42

Thanks kaster and congrats on your baby. Fingers crossed us girls who are ttc get sticky beans soon! X

Catlover2014 Thu 19-Jun-14 20:21:18

Thanks for sharing Jimijack. It does help to hear from you. You must be a very strong person and the way you have come through it is impressive.

I really wish I was stronger and feel as though I should be better after so many years of infertility, it's not exactly new. Hopefully time will mend my broken heart.

X

Kasterborous Thu 19-Jun-14 18:23:16

jimijack what a happy story, in the end. I can relate to you thinking about how you would 'deal' with your latest miscarriage. Me and DH had started doing slimming world for a month when I found out I was pregnant for the seventh time. My initial reaction - once I stopped crying - was to be really pi***d off that I wouldn't lose any more weight and just miscarry within the next six weeks, I was angry. Then nine months later our daughter was born, I couldn't believe it. I remember the fear of finding blood every time I went to the toilet for the entire nine months.

For all those of you on here who are still going through hell, I really hope you have a happy ending.

I could have done with a thread like this at the times I miscarried Catlover please try and keep hoping, I know how very hard that can be at times.

jimijack Thu 19-Jun-14 17:15:55

Funny but I became hardened to it.
I just thought "oh no, not again" and got on with it.

Wasn't strong, wasn't anything, just got on with it. Had a cry, raged a bit about how shit it was but I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Now its like it happened to someone else.
Didn't get counselling, not necessary tbh. I don't feel sad or traumatised or horrified now.
It's done & I have SO many better things to concentrate on now.

Every aspect at the time was horrific. My treatment in hospital surrounding me finding out each time, the actual physical act of miscarrying, the whole investigation into the cause of the miscarriage and the pointless attempt at trying to prevent miscarriage. The aftercare and the lack of understanding.

It's something that I will never have to experience again, so I come on here and offer advice from my experience in the hope that it helps someone. I had no one.

Catlover2014 Thu 19-Jun-14 16:40:33

Jimijack, what an incredible journey you've been on. Firstly I have to say I am so so sorry for all the babies you have lost. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for you and the grief you must have felt. Did you take counselling or did you manage to stay strong for DH and DC1?

Foxtrot, I agree it is amazing to hear these stories and it just surely give us hope that things can work out for us too one day. So hard to stay strong sometimes though isn't it?!

Thanks to everyone who has helped this thread. I am carrying these happy ending stories with me!!! XX

Catlover2014 Thu 19-Jun-14 13:05:17

Thank you xxx

Foxtrot7459 Thu 19-Jun-14 10:14:38

catlover thanks for starting this amazing thread - it's inspirational to read these happy stories at what is a really shit time. I just hope this thread stays active and I get to share my positive story when it happens.

A big thank you to all those who have posted xx

jimijack Thu 19-Jun-14 09:18:05

Hi there.
I had 2 mcs then after 3 years had my son.

Then had 5 more mcs over a 7 year period.
Gave up as I was 42.

Went & got the pill from my gp after the 7th MC.
Waited for my period which didn't arrive. I thought I had retained products from my miscarriage as I felt so unwell & no period so nipped to epau to check.

Never wrote any dates down, I stopped all that after mc number 4 I think. No point.
I was 7 weeks pregnant.
I established that when I started to miscarry this one I should just go to a&e for surgical intervention.
Anyway, nothing happened.
I went for weekly scans and at nearly 43 years old I had a section & have my boy.

All of my mcs happened in hospital because I needed morphine & gas & air.
I had investigators in a specialist unit which were all normal.
Told it was my age & egg quality in all probability.

I cannot believe that I have 2 boys. I cannot believe that I have 2 healthy children. I look at them in utter wonder. Where on earth have you come from I ask them.

They are 11 & 16 months now.
Amazed every day.

Annietheacrobat Thu 19-Jun-14 08:50:51

Cat - I really hope you get your 'happy ending' too.

Catlover2014 Thu 19-Jun-14 07:02:10

Trooper, that must have been such a difficult time for you. I'm sorry that you had to go through so much but it clearly was worth it in the end!!!

Another, sorry for you losses but congrats on your baby. You're right people don't talk about it enough. Miscarriage and (even more so) infertility are subjects you're expected to be silent about. I've found that silence very hard, no one at work ever asks how I am anymore.

Annie, you had such a hard time sad Glad you got there in the end though. If I ever get another BFP I have to take aspirin. Just dread what I feel is the inevitable mc #3.

Thanks again all for sharing. I'm trying to think positive. Xxxx

Annietheacrobat Wed 18-Jun-14 21:18:28

Hi Cat

I had 3MCs between DD1 and DD2. All before 8 weeks. I was referred to local recurrent MC team. No cause identified (though didn't get to the stage of NK testing etc). Advised to take low dose aspirin until 12 weeks.

Took it with pregnancy 5. Big bleeds at 6+3 and 10 weeks. Immediately thought the worse but amazingly the pregnancy continued. I stopped the aspirin though.

DD2 will be 11 months tomorrow and is an absolute joy. I really didn't think I'd ever have another child.

Big thanks to all on the mosh pit thread who helped me through some really dark and scary days.

anotherbitofcake Wed 18-Jun-14 21:06:55

2 mc - one at 7 wks one at 5. Both early but I was devastated. I didn't realise how common mc was but I still felt like maybe there was something wrong with me. Didn't help that friends all around me got preg first time trying.
Now I have a gorgeous 5 mo. Third time lucky.
I wish miscarriage was talked about more.
To be fair my dr and hospital were lovely. They sent me for early scan third time round to see if a heartbeat was present and were v supportive.

Trooperslane Wed 18-Jun-14 20:18:08

No problem Cat.

We did 2 ivf and 2 icsi. Unexplained infertility. We went for icsi in the end because statistically we were likely to get an additional embryo, which from memory we did.

We got slightly better results each time until dd decided she'd like to grow in my tummy.

Coincidentally it was when I felt calmest and most in control that it worked. (Though it wrecks my head when people say relax, it'll happen then. Oh really - if only it were so feckin easy!!)

We paid for it all ourselves - I have NO idea where we got that money from - weird things happened like randomly getting an £1800 tax rebate and hitting bonus in work for the first time in years.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all the ladies who've lost babies. It's nearly impossible to bear.

Catlover2014 Wed 18-Jun-14 14:46:44

Kaisak, thanks so much for sharing your story. I can't believe what some of us women have to go through and I am sorry for the pain you must have felt. So glad you got your little bab in the end though. Hope to be posting a good story on here myself one day smile

Troopers, sounds like you went through a lot to get your baby. It must have been such a hard fight.

Do you mind me asking how many rounds of IVF you went through? I'm tempted to try IVF but I can't access it on NHS because I've mc'd and where I live they won't pay if you've conceived in last three years. The IVF road is so expensive and we're just not that well off.

XXX

Trooperslane Wed 18-Jun-14 11:04:14

2 miscarriages in 7 months.

One on my birthday and the other Xmas Eve. confused

2 more years of trying - nothing.

2 years of ivf/icsi and dd the result.

Finally, my wee miracle is here.

kaisak Wed 18-Jun-14 10:57:18

I promised myself that when I would have my baby safely in my arms, I would post to one of these blogs and support other women going through the same despair that I had to go through.

I had 2 miscarriages in a row before the birth of my gorgeous son, now 5 1/2 months old. I was reading online about success stories after each miscarriage and it really helped. There are so many women out there who have had 1 or 2 miscarriages in a row and a lucky 3rd pregnancy. Just keep on believing and it will happen. I know how hard it is, but don't give up trying because in the end you will succeed and having your own baby will be the best gift in the world.

Good luck to you Catlover smile

Catlover2014 Tue 17-Jun-14 22:39:44

Bakingtins, I know you're right and I am trying to see the bright side. Just a bleak day I suppose?! Cried my eyes out today and I don't want to feel this sad anymore.

Ruths, thanks for sharing. Sorry for your difficult and sad times but great you got your babies!! Asprin has been recommended if I get another BFP (already on progesterone) so watch this space smile

XxX

ruthsmumkath Tue 17-Jun-14 18:48:13

After 3mc (2 natural at 11 and 7 wks and one mmc at 11 weeks) - after aspirin and progesterone (aspirin until 36 wks and progesterone until 26 wks) I finally got my gorgeous dc4 2 weeks ago. I didn't believe I would get to finish my family and we are all so delighted with him!

bakingtins Tue 17-Jun-14 18:02:09

Oi! less of that talk, catlover this is not your fault and I bet your DH would never think such a thing. The day I found out my little embies were perfect and it was definitely something wrong with me that meant I kept losing them was my lowest point. But it still wasn't "my fault" any more than it would be if my kidneys were faulty, or I had dodgy digestion or one leg shorter than the other. If there is something amiss,chances are there is also a treatment that can tip the balance in your favour. Chin up, look how many success stories you have in response to your post. No reason you won't have a happy ending of your own soon.

Catlover2014 Tue 17-Jun-14 16:29:56

Thanks Weegie, I hope you're right about the pain fading. Just found out about a colleague having become a dad this morning and had to sit and cry in the toilets at work.

Feel so sorry for my husband for choosing me when it turned out I didn't work. X

weegiemum Tue 17-Jun-14 11:51:27

Something else I'd like to say (at home today with 10yo dd2 with dental infection) is that really, the pain of miscarriage can fade. I grieved horribly after my first 2.

My dc are 14, 12 and 10, and my mc were before the eldest and in between the first two. I honestly feel no pain any more, just a bit of wistfulness when I think about it. And sometimes I don't think about it for weeks.

I can see it's harder if you don't have dc, and I don't presume to comment in that situation. But life has gone on for me.

Catlover2014 Tue 17-Jun-14 11:43:02

Drama, I have just shed a tear for your little boy sad

I'm so sorry for that awful loss and your two mmc as well. I can't imagine how hard that third pregnancy must have been but I'm so glad your DS was ok. And now you have another one too hehe smile

You have given me hope and fight again. Thank you so much for your kind words xxx

I had 2 mmc in 2009 followed by a late loss of my darling boy in 2010. I was induced and had to deliver him. I thought my heart would never mend. Tests were done but it was found that we were just unlucky. No reason for losing him.
A few months later I found I was pregnant. I was obviously terrified about how it was going to go. I had lots of consultant appointments and extra scans to check baby.
A month early, after premature rupture of membranes. My beautiful dd was born, a year to the day after losing her brother. In fact, their times of birth were 10mins apart. I like to think she is a gift to us from her brother.
When it became apparent she was going to share his birthday, I was quite upset. This was his day. Now I think it is a good thing. It has turned a day destined to be filled with sadness into a celebration.
Dd1 has just this week become a big sister. Dd2 was born last week. She is just as feisty and gorgeous as her big sister. Time will tell if she will be as funny and cheeky too!
I finally feel my family is complete. I couldn't be happier.
Hang in there if you have suffered recurrent losses. It can happen my little snuggly baby and bouncing toddler are proof of that.

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