Feeling low while ttc dc2 after miscarriage

[tohelenback]

Hello Ladies. I am a long-time lurker but this is the first time I've posted. I have a lovely (ha - most of the time) dd who is nearly 3 and I have been ttc a sibling for her for 15 months now. After a chemical pg in August and an mmc in January I am still not pg and I am feeling worse this month - I don't know why.

I thought I had coped pretty well with the mmc but I suppose in the back of my mind I thought I would fall pg again pretty quickly and now it's sinking in that there still could be a long and gruelling road ahead. I know I shouldn't be moaning when I already have a lovely dd and I know I would feel much worse if I was still ttc dc1 but I keep thinking about the increasing gap between dd and her sibling and feel sad about the family life I had envisaged for her slipping away. She has lots of friends but no cousins either.

I am on my 2ww now and finding it hard to think about anything else, while trying to prepare myself for another disappointment. The baby I lost would have been due in August. Until recently I had focussed more on ttc than on the mmc but as more and more friends are announcing pregnancies with due dates much later than August I am finding I am dwelling again on what might have been.

Sorry for this whinge - I do know much worse things happen to families and I do focus on the positives most of the time. I don't know why I'm finding that harder this month. Sending my best wishes to all of you who have suffered infertility or pregnancy loss.

[Tomkat79]

Hi OP

Oh the grueling long 2ww...I remember it well. Feels like 20 weeks.

I think it's absolutely fine and your right to feel a little disheartened after what you've been through. Sometimes it's bloody hard to stay positive and maintain that glass half full attitude.

Try not to feel bad about the age gap..::I have 7 years between mine. Not exactly how I planned it but life's thrown me loads of bollocks over the years and I try and feel blessed to have more than one. Don't worry about cousins either..my DD has no cousins either. I don't feel bad about this as my cousins are all weird and I never played with them anyway!

Really hope this is your month to fall pregnant again. Keeping everything crossed for you. If you haven't already do join the posifrickintivity thread on the conception boards... Everyone on there is so Kind and really understand what you're going through. They were a great help to me following my MC last year.

Xx

[Iamtohelenbackreally]

tomkat, sorry for my delayed reply. I seem to have messed up my account somehow so have had to name change. Thanks so much for your kind words - I will check out the thread you mention but I have a bit of an update - I have had a positive test! I am really, really nervous, as the line doesn't seem to be getting darker yet and I have been in this place before so keep expecting AF to arrive but have everything crossed. If it doesn't hold I will be going back to the doctor and demanding some more tests. Thanks again.

[Catlover2014]

Hi! Just wanted to post and say sorry for your mc and struggle ttc now. It's totally understandable how you feel and this journey is so bloody hard. Have you seen the doctor for any tests?

My brother is 7 years older than me and we are the very best of friends so try not to worry about age gap between your dc and next bab. Things to have a weird way of working out and when the baby does come dc will love helping and playing big sister!!!

I've had infertility for 5 years followed by successful treatment, which both turned into mcs so It's unlikely I'll ever be a mum (at 34 I certainly won't be having two). I'm trying my very best to tell myself that this must be for a reason and that if I don't get to have a baby I'll do other things with my life. Hard to accept as that may be I know getting stressed and emotional doesn't help.

I have everything crossed for you that you'll get you BFP soon, I'm sure you will! In the meantime keep reading and posting on here. Lots of happy stories to give you hope!

Xx