Dreading tomorrow :(

(12 Posts)
Kloulou Thu 22-May-14 20:10:28

So as you may have previously read I had my 2nd miscarriage on Saturday (was 6wks)
I finally plucked up the courage to go see a Gp yesterday and my god, what an experience! First of all, he pretty much told me off for not going to hospital when it happened or for not getting into the Drs sooner. (I actually did try for an app on the tues but the didn't have any!) He then asked me how I knew I'd miscarried so I had to explain to him (again!) what had happened- to which he replied... "Well you still don't know for sure you've lost it?" I'm pretty frikkin sure thank you very much!
He phones gynae- I pay no attention to the phone call as I'm contemplating getting up and walking out. Then he tells me I have to go straight there to be checked out?! I don't drive and I had my 4yr old DD with me. He asked me if I wanted an ambulance?! I said no I'll figure it out myself and left as soon as I could.
I sorted child care and got a taxi (bloody £10 each way!) When I got there a nurse took my obs, then a lovely female dr came to see me. The first thing she says is "how long have you been heavily bleeding?" I told her I'm not! In fact since yesterday morning it's pretty much all but stopped! The GP had told her I was heavily bleeding! Basically they had been led to believe I was an emergency case which was why they had called me straight in. If he had relayed the correct info they would have just booked me a scan app! (I thought it was bizarre that when I was bleeding and still preg last week I had to wait til the next day but now it's all over they wanted me in straight away, no wonder it felt backwards to me!)
Anyway she booked me in for a scan for tomorrow. Here's the thing tho and I totally don't agree with this- she said the scan was to check that nothing had been left behind which could cause infection (fair enough!) or, you never know- the baby might still be there! (!!!!!!) I had explained in good, graphic detail what had happened. Up until yesterday I was 100% certain I had miscarried! Now I have this little niggly hope that is slowly taking over my thoughts. After the turmoil of last week, then what happened at the weekend I felt I had done so well to get my head into a good place. Am so fortunate to have 2DDs and they have helped me to be positive and not let the whole experience bring me down too far, don't get me wrong, I struggled, especially Sunday eve and Monday but I know I have to be strong for them. Now I feel like I'm going to have to go through it all over again tomorrow and I'm dreading it!
It baffles me that a dr especially would give you that false hope? Makes you think, do they know something I don't? I almost don't want tomorrow to be here!
Sorry for such a long message but I just needed to get this off my chest...

Raskova Thu 22-May-14 20:21:02

thanks I think you need these.

I don't know what to say. Perhaps they are trying to be positive but they must not fully understand the situation to be giving hope like that, false or otherwise.

Hospitals and doctors really do seem to be all arse about face.

I hope tomorrow isn't too traumatic for you

Shetlandstock Thu 22-May-14 20:45:01

I'm not sure why they do this, but I had a similar if less obvious experience. Went to A&E with bleeding at 10 weeks. They wouldn't do a scan but did do bloods and urine sample.
The doctor then told me to stay positive and that she had no concerns about the pregnancy based on what she'd seen.
Next day I went to the early pregnancy clinic as I knew it was over and just wanted a scan to confirm. Whilst there the midwife said she could see my results from the previous day on screen and my hormone levels looked ok but she sent me for a scan anyway.
I could see her screen. The urine results had a number and then "non pregnant female"
So they both knew I'd miscarried and neither of them told me! Why?!

Hope tomorrow goes ok thanks

Kloulou Thu 22-May-14 21:24:22

Thank you for your replies. I truly feel bewildered!
If it was any other medical situation I couldn't imagine a dr second guessing anything? I'm sure they wouldn't tell someone with cancer it had all gone without checking first?! (I'm in no way comparing cancer to this- I just want you to see where I'm coming from?)
Shetland that's awful they would do that? Why keep the information from you? What were they hoping to achieve? For something that's so "common" you would think they would be more equipped to deal with the emotional side of things, having seen many women go thru it?!
I now have that hope back that miraculously a baby will still be there... Whereas a couple of days ago I was 100% certain I had miscarried.

Shetlandstock Thu 22-May-14 22:47:35

It seems cruel to raise your hopes like that sad

In my case, I think the doctor did it because she couldn't get me a scan so I guess there was nothing they could do anyway? I have no idea what the midwife was thinking though. I could understand if she'd not said anything either way but she raised my hopes and sent me off to a scan she knew was doomed (or would have raised my hopes if I hadn't seen the results). Weird.

I wonder if they've seen so many women go through it that they've lost track of the emotional side sad

Kloulou Fri 23-May-14 11:33:24

Well I'm back from the hospital. Everything has gone and all is back to normal. A tiny bit of me was hoping for a miracle but I knew in my heart it had gone. Time to move on now I suppose! Here's hoping I'm 3rd time lucky x

Treaclepie19 Fri 23-May-14 12:39:39

They said the same to me. I don't know why they do it and it's not fair.
I hope you are able to take the time you need to recover x

Kloulou Fri 23-May-14 16:01:14

It really isn't fair is it. I feel totally deflated.
Thank you for your kind words x

Raskova Fri 23-May-14 16:08:47

I hope you're feeling ok. I'd feel like writing in a complaint/suggestion because it's quite cruel to give false hope.

Thinking of you thanks

Shetlandstock Fri 23-May-14 19:21:40

Sorry kloulou thanks

impatienceisavirtue Sun 25-May-14 17:55:38

False hope is the cruelest thing in this situation, so sorry you are going through this thanks

SeaSaltMill Wed 28-May-14 11:11:57

They do it to cover their backs in case there is something still there, some women do bleed heavily but its still ok.

Its not right though, they did the same for me when I was miscarrying. It was awful.

I'm very sorry for your loss. xx

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