Lost fetus 9 weeks after started miscarrying.

(11 Posts)
ThisBitchIsResting Thu 08-May-14 21:48:03

I can't talk to anyone in rl, I'm supposed to have had my 2 weeks off work, bled a light flow for that whole time and then a second scan to confirm it was complete and no need for Erpc.

Except.

On Saturday (9 weeks after I started bleeding and it was a mmc so likely 14 weeks at least according to scan lady after baby stopped growing) I was on the second day of a red bleed, I guess first proper period, and when I pulled tampon out there was a huge lump on it, I lifted it off and it was like a prawn, all curled up, fat but all blackened at the thin end. I know it was the fetus and can't stop crying. I cried and cried and then flushed it down the loo after an hour of just holding it, I kissed it and flushed it away.

My DH wouldn't even look at it, he held me when I cried and I was holding it but I don't think he understands the shock, I feel so crap, I'm on the verge of tears so much since it happened, I had made peace with everything but had been feeling bloated and crap since the miscarriage itself started, or the bleeding, and was only confused because I hadn't yet had a period. 9 fucking weeks later. And it was a mmc, they said it should have been 11 weeks and measured 7. So my body clung on to it until 20 weeks before expelling it. I have been thinking it wad all over, all complete, for the last 7 weeks since bleeding stopped.

I am just so feeling crap, I shouldn't but I have had wine and DH out so am just in feeling sorry for myself. I have a gp appt next week but what can I even say? I know what it was, I just need some sort of closure. I fucking wish I'd had an Erpc, I was told better for it to happen naturally and then was told it had when it clearly hadn't.

calistamommy Thu 08-May-14 22:05:32

oh my goodness I'm so sorry for your loss and the way it happened. I don't really have any words of wisdom or anything I just didn't want to read your post and not reply. if poss make an earlier app with the gp or phone the hospital/ epau for some advice. you have every right to feel sorry for yourself you're mourning. sending you hugs Hun.

resipsa Thu 08-May-14 22:08:28

Me too. How awful for you. MMCs are horrible, especially when you're aware that you're 'pregnant' for no reason. Hope you can sleep later.

JokersGiggle Thu 08-May-14 22:10:28

Poor you my lovely. Its absolutely sucks. I've just lost twins (5th MC) and I understand how upsetting it is but poor you for having that shock.
I advise: cry cry then cry some more, put away the wine, eat some toast, go to bed and aim for a new day tomorrow.....I should take my own advice.
Pm me if you need x

Greyhound Fri 09-May-14 16:44:46

Aw, that's awfully sad OP. I never saw any of my (four) mc'd babies.

It must have been a terrible shock for you to see the baby when you weren't expecting to.

Poshsausage Fri 09-May-14 17:05:10

Oh what a shock . Am all teary for you too that's so sad . So sorry . Get yourself to bed and snuggle up x

Tranquilitybaby Fri 09-May-14 19:05:22

You poor thing having to go through that. I hope being able to say goodbye will in some small way help you to grieve in time. Xx

nearlyreadytopop Sun 11-May-14 22:46:45

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Something similar happened to me at 17 weeks and it was such a shock.
Have you had a scan to check for retained products (sorry, its a horrible phrase)? I would be on to my gp or gynae ward to get checked. I needed an erpc 7 weeks after my 17 week mc. thanks

pcbmc00 Sun 11-May-14 22:53:57

Oh I'm so sorry to read your post I'll say a little prayer for you and your little baby x

VanGogh Sun 11-May-14 22:58:52

You are in my thoughts. I cried a little cry reading that.

Please see your doctor sooner. If you can't say it then have what you need them to know written down. Unmumsnetty <hugs>

ThisBitchIsResting Mon 12-May-14 07:11:30

Thanks for all your kind thoughts. I really hope I don't need to have an ERPC now, I wish I'd had it at the time but actually I'm also glad I got to meet my baby and hold her and say goodbye.

I did have a second scan a week after the first and they said it was all gone, but later that day I passed what I'm sure was the placenta. So I'm not convinced they really knew what they were doing. Seeing my GP tomorrow, I'm at a surgery where you have to just see whoever is available, I've asked for the lady doctor but I'm normally in rude health and don't think I've ever met her before (not lived here long) so I really hope she's nice and doesn't brush me off. I don't know what I want to achieve by seeing doc really but I think asking for another scan might be good.

Thanks again for your words of support, means a lot as I can't talk to anyone in rl about it.

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