Pregnant after a miscarriage

(15 Posts)
Jays43 Fri 02-May-14 13:15:03

Hi there. I am pregnant after having a missed miscarriage in January this year. I went though a very difficult time as I had a scan at 7 weeks and it was clear that the pregnancy was nearer 5. Went for a number scans 2 weeks apart and there was no growth and never a heart beat. This went on until week 12 where I had medical miscarriage. I am very fortunate to have a daughter of 2 and a half years old. I had an early scan with her becasue of cramping and saw her heartbeat at 6 weeks.

The reason for my post is that I am finding this pregnancy desperately hard. It is bringing back my miscarriage and I am scared to death I am going to lose this one too. I have been offered a scan at 8/9 weeks. My husband thinks I should do the whole 12 to avoid any worry. Trouble is I am on hols at 12 weeks so have to wait 13. I don't think I can bear to wait that long without some reassurance;( I just want to know everything is ok. But from experience I know early scans can cause worry too. Feels like a don't win either way.

jazzyjenbo Fri 02-May-14 18:41:25

Firstly congratulations on the pregnancy, :-)

Secondly so sorry for your loss :-(

I also had a mmc in january and also had mm. I have a 3yr old and 21 mth old.

I am busy ttc again atm, i will b having an early scan nxt time, even if i have to go private.

I think you should take everyday as it comes and try not to overthink and worry (easier said than done i know)

I just think if you worry to much and then everythin is fine and you baby arrives safely u'll regret not enjoying your first trimester.

On the flip side if you worry and then mc u'll regret not enjoying it whilst u could.

Explain to dh why you want the reassurance a scan can bring, if he doesnt want to attend then thats his choice and can wait until 13 weeks. I went by myself to my early scan (where i was given the bad news) and tbh i was glad of the space!! (Sorry if this comes across abit hardfaced just we all deal with things differently and i'm sure your dh, as mine has been is very supportive) byt sometimes i think us women need extra support along the way.

Good luck on your xmas bub!!

bakingtins Sat 03-May-14 17:43:33

It doesn't sound like waiting until 12/13 weeks is going to stop you worrying though! 8 weeks is a good time to have a reassurance scan, if all is ok ( measuring approx right for dates with a heartbeat) at that stage MC risk drops to 3% and it halves the wait for your 12 week scan.
There's a thread on the pregnancy board for pregnancy after miscarriage where everyone will understand your anxiety - some company might help you get through first trimester.
Good luck!

Jays43 Sat 03-May-14 19:23:06

Thanks both for advice. Baking tins is the thread called "reassurance scan"?

bakingtins Sat 03-May-14 19:25:04

No- will have something about posifrickingtivity in the title and hundreds of posts. Will check exactly what it's called....

bakingtins Sat 03-May-14 19:26:50

It's called "Today we are pregnant - thread for those pregnant after miscarriage"

bakingtins Sat 03-May-14 19:28:15

On the pregnancy board, not the miscarriage one. Sorry can't do a link from phone.

HappyAsASandboy Sat 03-May-14 19:36:56

I am in the same situation as you. Miscarried in January and now 8 weeks pregnant

Reassurance scans are not available on NHS in my area nothing to do with the private maternity service they've just opened within our privatised NHS hospital, oh no so I paid for a scan at 7 weeks. There was no way I could have made it to 12 weeks without going bonkers.

I found the scan reassuring, and the chance of miscarriage does drop sharply once a heartbeat is seen. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but at least I know I am still in with a chance. My DH wasn't nearly as worried as I was, and I went to the scan on my own. Kind of felt like it was my body, my worries, so I wanted to do it on my own (he would have come with me if I'd asked, I'm sure).

Good luck with your pregnancy, regardless of what you decide about scans. I really hope things work out for us bothsmile

Tranquilitybaby Sun 04-May-14 13:27:00

Sorry for your loss. I think a reassurance scan anytime from 7 weeks would be a good thing for you. If you see heartbeat at 7 weeks you have over a 90% chance all will be ok.

X

Empem288 Sun 04-May-14 23:23:10

Hi Jays you might find a thread in Antenatal called 'Pregnant after MC due December 14' (389 Posts) a good place to be. Lots of lovely supportive girls who are in the same position as you.

I've sadly just left it after natural MC yesterday at 7w and now looking for a recent thread for me.

Good luck xx

thatwhichwecallarose Mon 05-May-14 08:26:50

So sorry for your loss.

I was in your situation. However I had mmc - went for 12 week scan to be told baby was more like 8.5 weeks. So for me a scan at 8 or 9 weeks wouldn't have been reassuring because I knew that if I had an early scan with that pg it probably would have been positive.

It really is a personal decision. I coped by basically denying the pregnancy (told one person in RL and mentioned it in here only) and not letting myself get too excited and imagining baby. It helped.

Fingers crossed all goes well, whatever you decide.

(Btw am now 28 weeks with that baby!)

Jays43 Mon 05-May-14 13:02:58

Happyasasandboy- can't believe we have had the same thing happen to us and both pregnant again similar timings. When is your next scan? When you had your 7 weeks did it match up ok with your dates? That's my biggest worry going at 8 weeks and they say its smaller;( I would go bonkers waiting 12 though ��

HappyAsASandboy Mon 05-May-14 16:10:00

Hi Jays43,

Yes, my scan at 7 weeks the sonographer's measurements said 6+5, which was close enough to reassure me.

I know that things could still go wrong. The previous miscarriage didn't get beyond about 5 weeks though, so to reach 7 weeks and see a heartbeat reassured me that whatever went wrong last time hadn't happened again. So I kind of feel my odds are as goo as anyone else's now rather than thinking I wouldn't be able to carry a baby because of last time.

Good luck, whatever you decide, and I'm sorry you're facing the same worries as me sad

Jays43 Mon 05-May-14 20:23:17

Happyasasandboy- sounds extremely reassuring. I would want exactly that sort of news. I am so sure things will be just fine for you now. Us women have to go through so much. I saw my little girls heartbeat at 6 weeks and she is now currently fast asleep in her bed x

Cuppachaplz Mon 05-May-14 21:48:00

Hi jay
Congratulations
I also had (my most recent) mc in January. This was at about 13-14 weeks by the time it actually happened, but had been having scans 'waiting to miscarry' since 7 weeks...
I am also 8 weeks pregnant, and feeling the anxiety.
Maybe different to you though, whilst desperate to know all us we'll, I also don't want to be told it's not.
Also finally have appt for repeated mc booked for3w time. Reluctant to cancel as waited almost a year for this, and I cancel and mc in the meantime will have to wait again....
Sitting tight for now.
Positive vibes to you and all those playing the waiting fame right now x

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