Still hurting after my miscarriage; scared and feeling so sad

(7 Posts)
Scottysmum2008 Thu 27-Mar-14 18:35:32

I miscarried 3 and half weeks ago. I'd had an emergency scan at what should have been 11+ weeks to found that development had stopped at @ 6 weeks. I then miscarried naturally 5 days after the scan, and have continued to bleed since. I know I'm grieving, but this is the first time I have experienced grief and such loss. I'm in pain still throughout each day and am waiting for another scan to see what else, if anything, is going on. I have some good days, but today is a pretty bad day. It's been tough picking the right people to talk to that will just listen and let me talk it out. Help hasn't been where I've expected it to be.
I just feel so sad, and scared there's something else wrong. I so wanted the baby as I had to wait @ 3yrs to try again (that's another story). We will try again but wow it puts a different slant on things.
Does anyone else need someone to just listen?

Virgo9 Thu 27-Mar-14 19:31:16

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. After over a year for trying for our second baby, We were told there was no heart beat at the 12wk scan. The baby had stop growing around 8wks. I had no idea there was anything wrong. This was a week ago today, on Monday I had a erpc, I too feel overwhelming sadness. I also feel like I need someone to listen and just be supportive, I don't have any RL friends who have experienced anything like this so I don't feel they understand.
This forum is great for people who are prepared to listen and be supportive.

Sending you hugs if you need them

Forester Thu 27-Mar-14 19:47:57

Hugs to you both.

I had two MMC's last year and like you Scotty it was my first real experience of grief.

I've found a lot of comfort on this forum since my second MMC and I hope that's the case for both of you.

Take care x

Rommell Thu 27-Mar-14 20:08:36

I'm so sorry that all of you have experienced this loss. I can remember after my second miscarriage one time I was going home and instead I just stood at the bus stop and sobbed and sobbed - I was blind-sided by grief. People came up to me to ask me what had happened and I could barely talk to them because it was so raw and also so private. Treat yourselves very gently - it is a loss, and it is real, and you can find your way through it but it is hard. Tbh I don't have any real advice except that there isn't a right or wrong, there isn't a time-frame, and there are no rules for grief. It does get better though. I still think of my babies - that doesn't stop. But there comes a type of acceptance, a processing, and as close as I can get to healing. And that will happen for you too. I am wishing you all the best thanks.

calistamommy Fri 28-Mar-14 20:39:28

4 wks ago today I had my 2nd miscarage at 5wks4days my 1st mc was five yrs ago. I completely understand and I'm with you I have no RL friends to share how I feel and everywhere i.e outside, tv etc reminds me. I even had a meltdown in costa coffee today crying , I must have looked a right Pratt ! be kind to yourself and remember we all need days where we want to shut the world out but these days won't be every day. you're doing the best you can to deal with a horrible upsetting time xx

Scottysmum2008 Fri 04-Apr-14 11:59:15

Thank you for all the kind words I have read here this morning. It helps so much to know I'm not on my own, and love and hugs to you all and anyone else who comments after this.
I've been lucky enough to have 3 pretty good days one after the other this week, however today is not one of them. I have a scan this afternoon to investigate as I am still passing blood, and the pain when it comes is just awful. I am scared to be totally honest as it's been @ 5 weeks now and shows no sign of stopping.
I feel quite alone as now I've had those good days I think it's assumed I'm ok and possibly 'moving on'. This couldn't be further from the truth, and seeing people I know celebrating the arrival of new family members makes my heart heavy; I so wish to be blessed again.
Hopefully my boy will come home from school today having won something from the school easter raffle. He is a star. For such a little person he has been amazing and wants to know when there will be a baby again. Fingers crossed for some positive news from today, and that at least my body can start to heal.

bakingtins Fri 04-Apr-14 15:05:08

scottysmum I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you got some answers today and that you have an end in sight for the physical process at least. Good days and bad days is par for the course for quite a while, but the bad days will get fewer and become bad moments over time. Your little lad sounds like a smasher, but it really pulls at the heart strings when you'd love nothing more than to give them a sibling. I hope he had a good day to lift your spirits a bit. flowers

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