Suddenly feeling low

[just1moretime]

I had a miscarriage on Friday, my first one, and I'm lucky enough to already have 2 DC's. I had only found out I was pregnant a few days before, and if I'm honest, it wasn't news greeted with unbridled joy by either of us.

I felt the sac pass through me. Almost as soon as this happened, the only thought in my head was that it had to be over so I could start again. I had an all consuming need to be pregnant again. I went for my hospital appointments where everyone was expecting me to be devastated, but I already knew the baby had gone. I had felt and seen it. I was focussing so much on getting it over as soon as possible and starting again, that I didn't even think of it. Now, I'm full of doubt. I can't bear the thought of that being my last experience of pregnancy, and that my last baby died, but I'm scared that it might happen again. I'll have to accept that it wasn't meant to be and I will end up grieving for 2 babies and the loss of my fertility. I'm 41 this year, so don't have all the time in the world. I don't even know what I want from this thread. Just to rant on I suppose...

[bakingtins]

Hi just I'm very sorry you suffered a miscarriage. Your response of wanting to be pregnant again straight away is very common, even if the pregnancy was unplanned. Something about putting things right and succeeding at carrying a baby to term, rather than finishing on a 'failure'. I don't think when you are massively hormonal and grieving is a great time to make the decision if you were not actively TTC for the pregnancy you lost though - maybe you should let the dust settle and then discuss it.

[just1moretime]

Thanks for responding Baking . I feel exactly as you said. I had the conversation about it with my DH, but he is adamant he doesn't want another baby. I am devastated. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. I don't want to be simmering with resentment forever over this, but I am at the moment. We have a good marriage, which I don't want to put in jeopardy, but I feel he has taken something special away from me. I know it's only early days. I hope it gets better and I can learn to live with this.

[ElloGuvnor]

Hi, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I have just had the same happen to me, I can't even bring myself to use the word yet. I totally understand your feelings of wanting it over, wanting to try again but being scared about it. I think that I you need to have time to recover physically and emotionally before looking ahead that far. Hope your husband realises how strongly you feel and that you can work it out. Take care of yourself.