Really really bad day

(11 Posts)
SeaSaltMill Thu 13-Mar-14 13:42:35

Today is 1 year exactly since I went for my 12 week scan to be told that there was a sac and no baby. Since then I've had an ERPC and another miscarriage in November at about 5/6 weeks.

I'm currently 4+5 and this morning my daily test was almost negative. It's happening again isn't it?

I called EPu but as I've not have bleeding or pain they can't do anything. I'm booked for a scan in 2 weeks anyway so I guess I just have to wait and see.

I feel so hopeless and devastated.

OP I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Such a difficult time.

Sending you hugs and I really really hope everything's ok.

SeaSaltMill Thu 13-Mar-14 14:56:18

I've started spotting now. Exactly the same time as my last miscarriage. sad

So sorry SeaSalt - have you got a friend who can come and be with you?

thanks

Armadale Thu 13-Mar-14 15:19:02

SeaSalt, I'm so sorry.

I too had a MMC in my first pregnancy and found out at the 20 week scan thinking there was nothing wrong- the shock of it is just terrible....and today is just such shit timing for you, isn't it?

I'm not surprised you feel as you do.

Sometimes spotting in PG is not a bad sign, and it is important to remember that women do spot and go on to have healthy babies, but the faint test must also be a worry for you....

Can I suggest something here in case the worst does happen? It might not be the time for suggestions, and might be a bit graphic and if you aren't up to it, skip the rest of my post-

Statistically if you lose the first 3 pregnancies back to back, you are still more likely than not to have a healthy 4th pregnancy....up to 80% of MC are caused by random chromosomal problems not something reoccurring, so the odds are in your favour, although I'm sure it absolutely doesn't feel like that right now.

However, some women do have a problem that is causing the miscarriages, which is why if you have 3 miscarriages in a row they suggest you have some tests done to check that there is nothing wrong. These can include how your blood clots, you (and your DP's) chromosomes etc. The EPU should be able to advise you, or your GP can refer you.

One of the really useful things to do is to test the baby to see if its chromosomes are normal or not- as I say in up to 80% of MC they are not, and the baby would not be viable, but if the baby did turn out to have nothing wrong, this would suggest that there might be another problem interfering with the babies growth such as clotting, killer cells etc which could be treated so you don't lose any more viable ones.

Unfortunately, the way the baby is tested is by sending off the clots for analysis. This means, if you have an ERPC, them saving them during the operation, or (horribly) if you are naturally Miscarrying, saving the clots so they can be tested. For me this unfortunately meant putting a sieve over the loo to catch the clots which I then put in a little pot in the freezer till I could get them to the EPU. I'm sorry there is no delicate way of putting that, and it is a truly horrible thing to contemplate doing......but I'm suggesting it as someone who has been through this a few times now and frankly, nothing is worse than losing another one, so I'd rather know in case it can help prevent that.

I still have everything crossed for you that the worst has not happened this time for you, though. thanks

ThinkLikeASpoooooon Fri 14-Mar-14 23:09:34

Im sorry thanks

SeaSaltMill Sat 15-Mar-14 12:47:36

I've started bleeding properly now. What's the situation on baths? Our shower is out if action so baths are the only option, will I be ok?

Armadale Sat 15-Mar-14 18:37:04

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that.

this miscarriage association leaflet says it is fine to have a bath.

Do you have someone with you?

wifey6 Mon 17-Mar-14 14:14:20

SeaSalt, I'm so incredibly sorry you are going through this again. Do you have anyone with you, or that can be with you?
We are all here for you x

outtheothersidefinally Mon 17-Mar-14 14:19:31

So so sorry. Keep going, I hope it happens for you.

MissWing Mon 24-Mar-14 19:20:18

Thinking of you. It's so horrible and you are being very brave.

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