Just wanted to say how sorry I am Lisa. I have had two miscarriages but both between 6-8 weeks. I am sure other posters will be along to offer you advice. You are right, it is an awful thing to go through and has completely marked me. Sending you lots of love x
I am so, so sorry for your terrible loss. We lost our little girl at 18 weeks in 2011 and I well remember the sudden 'bam!' as another reminder hits you around the face. My brother and his wife had just had a baby girl and I remember pacing up and down in the house trying to control myself as they proudly got her out of the car... Friends excitedly announcing pregnancies and me thinking how lucky they were to be able to assume that all would go well and they would definitely have a baby at the end of it. The terrible time five days later when my milk came in and I was howling as it ran down my stomach. The worst time, ever.
We had a funeral, she is buried and I visit her rarely because the pain is still so raw. That's the thing, it never leaves you. It just becomes easier to handle without sobbing helplessly. People can never understand, because it wasn't full term, that to you, you have lost a baby. It can be so isolating.
The consultants were never able to completely say what went wrong. It was either an infection or a result of the Hashimoto's thyroiditis I later had diagnosed. I was told that often in these cases people never find out exactly what went wrong. However, in the next pregnancy I had lots of scans and I was never afraid to push for information because I was absolutely never, ever going through that again!
My advice is to cry whenever you feel like it, talk about him with DP, and give yourself as long as you need to come to terms with your loss. Holding your hand xxx