I want so desperately to be happy for them

(4 Posts)
Normalisavariantofcrazy Wed 19-Feb-14 12:22:45

My very close friends have just announced they're expecting. I'm pleased for them but a part of me is so jealous it's stopping me being happy.

I had a 9 week mc last year and a 5 week one at Christmas (so we should have been pregnant together and announcing together)

I hate being so bitter but it's really tainted my day. She knows about my mc and I know it must have been hard for her to tell me but still. I want to have a teen style 'it's not fair' tantrum

That's awful isn't it blush

bakingtins Wed 19-Feb-14 13:06:06

It's not awful. Have the tantrum in the privacy of your own home and you can prepare a happy face for when you have to see her. It's not fair that you've suffered two losses, and it will be hard to see her reaching milestones around the time that you would have reached them together. Allow yourself to take a step back from the friendship if you need to.

It might help a bit to think that she is having a baby, but not your baby, and that they are not rationed, her success does not make your future happiness any less likely.

The green eyed monster gets the better of most of us in the aftermath of a MC, don't beat yourself up about it.

Normalisavariantofcrazy Wed 19-Feb-14 13:20:52

Thank you for your kind words.

I just hate being so negative at a time of such happiness sad no one prepares you for this do they?!

escorpion Wed 19-Feb-14 13:48:03

It is normal to have these feelings. I am currently having a bad day. After two miscarriages I have decided to give my body a rest. My husbands 21 year old jobless nephew has just announced he is going to be a dad after being in a relationship for one month with a girl who already has a six month old baby. I just feel so bitchy getting all judgemental about it, but it bloody hurts. Why not me? FFS I want to be a mum, my husband wants to be a dad, we have all the right conditions financially emotionally to be parents, but my beans just won´t stick. It is such a punch in the stomach!! To add to that, every bugger else is pregnant, it is so so hard! So I really sympathise with you and know exactly how you feel!

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