Gave birth to our little boy at 17 weeks..heartbroken

(58 Posts)
LisaW1979 Wed 05-Feb-14 23:20:45

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Gimmesomemore Wed 05-Feb-14 23:24:25

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry to read this.

Rip Archie Michael, x

isitsnowingyet Wed 05-Feb-14 23:26:41

So sorry for your loss. Can't imagine what you are going through, but wish you well.

LisaW1979 Wed 05-Feb-14 23:26:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FuckyNell Wed 05-Feb-14 23:28:50

Aww Lisa love hugs for you x

blueblackdye Wed 05-Feb-14 23:29:56

Big huge massive hugs to you OP. Archie Michael will live in your memory.

LackaDAISYcal Wed 05-Feb-14 23:30:53

So so sorry for your loss sad

RIP Archie xx

The boards here are super supportive, you've come to the right place. The pain is unbearable now, but it will lessen over time, even though it never ever leaves you. Take time to groeve properly and to make sure that your OH does as well and that the two of you make time to talk about Archie to each other.

Hugs xxx

katieash76 Thu 06-Feb-14 08:52:25

Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss of Archie.

Last summer I lost my daughter Charlotte when i was almost 19 weeks pregnant. It was completely heartbreaking and her birth was quite traumatic for various reasons. We spent some time with her in the hospital and had photos. She was so tiny but looked just like a baby with gorgeous little fingers and toes. We had a private funeral, just me and DH, which was all arranged by the hospital chaplain and their funeral directors. I found that day very hard, especially seeing the tiny white coffin. I'm glad we did it but that's obviously a personal choice.

Going through something like this is very hard on both you and your partner. My DH found it very difficult because a lot of people were only concerned about me and my recovery and gave little thought to him. I had 3 weeks off work which was vital, and then went back just for few days before summer holidays started (I'm a teacher). Please take all the time you need to recover both physically and emotionally. The pain will never go away completely but it does eventually get easier i promise.

Look after yourself xxxx

Only1scoop Thu 06-Feb-14 09:01:18

Lisa so so sorry to hear about the loss of little Archie.
We lost our little boy in December at 17 wks and I relate to everything you are going through. Heartbreaking for you all.
I'm thinking of you and sending you a hug thanks

LisaW1979 Thu 06-Feb-14 12:48:32

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miserywaterfall Thu 06-Feb-14 16:11:16

Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss sad

I had a missed miscarriage 2 weeks ago and also have a history of depression and anxiety so I would say just be aware of the signs of falling to that dark place again.

I am so glad your partner is a great support, cling to him and support each other through this awful time. Your memorial stone sounds lovely and will be a special place you can go and think of your beautiful boy.

xx

bakingtins Thu 06-Feb-14 19:22:59

Lisa, I'm so sorry you lost Archie. I hope the hospital will be able to provide one answers as to why it happened, and that planning his funeral brings you some comfort. You've probably been pointed towards the SANDS website but if not there is a lot of support and advice there.

Tomkat79 Fri 07-Feb-14 12:20:22

What a beautiful way to remember your baby boy. This truly is the worlds worst heartbreak and sending you lots and lots of love and strength.

It's nothing that you did. You have to hang onto that xxx

Lottiedoubtie Fri 07-Feb-14 12:24:14

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

It is not your fault.

Only1scoop Sat 08-Feb-14 09:21:22

Lisa....what a special way for you to remember Archie....we also had a little service ....just myself and dp.

You are not to blame, as I'm sure I'm not.... but I know we still will have tiny doubts. Our bereavement midwife had been amazing and I am sure you will continue to have great support from yours.

Carry on looking after each other and being kind. Your relationship sounds wonderful and very strong. Probably even stronger through these times.

Want to send you a huge hug. I will be thinking of you this week.

Take care love thanks

eurochick Sat 08-Feb-14 09:25:01

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. x

Coconutty Sat 08-Feb-14 09:29:08

I'm so sorry for you loss Lisa, you are not to blame at all. Life is very cruel sometimes.

I love the name Archie Michael. Sending lots of strength to you.

FlatsInDagenham Sat 08-Feb-14 09:31:04

sad thanks

What a lovely name he has.

Helspopje Sat 08-Feb-14 09:35:04

Can I make a recommendation? If you will be living in your current home for a while, consider planting something.

We planted a hydrangea for our daughter and it has been bittersweet to see it grow and flourish over time. I love looking out of the kitchen window whilst washing up to see it in full bloom and it never fails to make me smile.

LisaW1979 Sun 09-Feb-14 10:46:51

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toomanypasswords Sun 09-Feb-14 22:20:35

I am so sorry to read this. I had a MC 3 years ago and found out last week I'd had a MMC. 2 MCs in 3 pregnancies felt so, so unfair (though i do realise that many, many people have far more than that). I can't imagine being in your situation though. I don't think that you need to try to be strong at the moment - you are more than entitled to cry, grieve and be angry, sad etc. I remember after my 1st MC going out and just seeing babies everywhere. Everyone I saw either seemed to be pregnant or had a baby. Just please remember that this wasn't your fault. Trite as it sounds (and I'm sorry that it does), it is just one of those horribly cruel things that happen to some people for no reason whatsoever. I don't think that anyone who has a MC ever forgets that baby that should have been and there is always the extra 'birthday' on the calendar but the pain does lessen over time. Just lean on your OH, family and friends as much as you need to over the coming weeks and allow yourself to grieve. xx

ThenAgain Sun 09-Feb-14 22:23:58

I'm so sorry, sending love xxx

LisaW1979 Wed 12-Feb-14 08:57:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingtins Wed 12-Feb-14 09:03:05

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, Lisa, hope it all goes perfectly for you and you can all derive some comfort from saying goodbye to Archie in the way you've planned.
The numbness is really common and it will pass. You will get through this. flowers

ZingSweetApple Wed 12-Feb-14 09:14:33

Lisa

My heart goes out to you - it is the most terrible loss you suffered, I am so sorry.sad thanks

(I had MC over 5 years ago. I miss her every day. we named her Yasmin)

I'm going to light a candle for darling Archie and pray for all of you tomorrow.

if I may suggest I think you could benefit from some counselling when you're ready.

I don't know what else to say, sending you big hugs and strength for tomorrow.
(((HUG)))

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