Some advice on my miscarriage please

[sebsmummy1]

Hiya,

I am/was 7 weeks pregnant tomorrow. It was a problem pregnancy from the beginning with sporadic bleeding from the day after my first missed period. I had a 6 week internal scan last Friday which showed no heart beat, but the sonographer wasn't too concerned and booked me in for another scan 2 weeks later.

The following day I started to miscarriage. Lots of black and pink mucus, which turned into a heavy period bleed on Monday and yesterday and has now tapered off to a light period bleed.

No cramping whatsoever which I read isn't uncommon, and no 'flooding' at all.

My scan has been brought forward to Monday, the midwife said primarily to see if all the tissue has passed.

Now my question is thus. I've been a dick and done a clearblue digi this morning thinking it will have gone down and would probably show me at 2-3 weeks again so at least I would know the hormone is receding. Nope, it still has me at 3+ so of course I've now got this tiny voice whispering 'could you still be pregnant? Which I could scream about as I feel as though I'm just setting myself up to grieve all over again at the scan.

But to be honest what I'm really thinking is I am not at the end of this miscarriage at all as I am probably still retaining the sac and I might end up having to take tablets or have a D&C.

Will they offer me other options if the scan confirms the sac is still in there and the pregnancy is not viable? I just want this over and the uncertainty is doing my head in.

Thank you xx

[Purplefrogshoe]

the wait between scans is the worst! i would try and prepare for the worst but still hope for the best
if mc is confirmed at the scan you should br given options of erpc or medical management, fx for you

[jazzyjenbo]

Ohh i'm so sorry to read this. It does sound like u have miscarried but you will get confirmation at your scan. Take sumone with u incase it is bad news.

I'm 2 weeks post mmc and still showing a positive.

They will scan you and see if you have any 'retained products' .. If the sac is still retained they will give you the options which have already mentioned. If you just have clots remaining you should be sent home to pass them naturally.

If u need to chat to other mums who have had mc in the past few weeks pm me and i can add u to the private fb group x x

[kilmuir]

Can take 6 weeks to get a negative test

[ChocolateHelps]

The hormones of preg that the sticks test HGC? Go up from near zero to 1000's at beg of pregnancy. If you have mc'd then the levels are going down but still higher than they would be at 3+ weeks. Does that make sense?

Be kind to yourself at this time and include dad as he'll be grieving too but might not want to show you

Ask docs how soon you can start TTC again. Not uncommon for very 1st preg to end in early cm and then fall preg again and all be fine. Like the body having a trial run.

[bakingtins]

sebsmummy sorry to hear you are going through this, the uncertainty makes it in many ways even more difficult. The pregnancy test is not very helpful, it has normally taken me 2 weeks to get a negative test after a MC at 8-10 weeks, and it can be longer if there is still pregnancy tissue retained, so I'm afraid that doesn't tell you much either way.
If the scan shows an incomplete miscarriage you have three options - expectant management (wait and see - this is less likely to be offered if you have stopped bleeding but there is still material present) medical management or surgical management (ERPC) It's very much a personal choice which is least-worst for you. There is more information on all options at www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
We'll keep fingers crossed for a good outcome for you.

[sebsmummy1]

Thanks guys, really appreciate your replies.

I'm fine in myself thankfully. I never felt pregnant and kind of knew it was going to end from the beginning, so I've had lots if time to prepare for this miscarriage.

Well today progressed to some light cramping and then a fairly large amount of blood. The blood doesn't seem to be clotty anymore, it's bright red and clear so I'm hoping I might have passed the sack without knowing.

Least I am absolutely sure now that I am not pregnant so it makes scan day less scary. I am going on my own because I've chosen to but I shall come home to my family.

I have bought a load of hpt tests off Amazon so I can keep testing and see when I get a negative so I can start tracking ovulation again.

Xxx

[deelite72]

I showed positive for a month. :-( Instead of testing all the time, I just waited 2 weeks, then at week 3 post MC I tested and then finally around week 4, my HPT came up negative. Maybe also get an ovulation kit too. Clear Blue is the only one I would advise. Expensive, but worth it, especially since periods can be a bit wonky post MC and you won't always know when you're ovulating. This is especially useful if you plan on getting pregnant again. On the bright side, a woman is highly fertile post MC.

[sebsmummy1]

Thanks deelite. I'm an old timer when it comes to TTC unfortunately so I have tried lots of opks etc and agree, clearblue was the only one that ever worked for me. I also have the monitor but as I am currently still showing as pregnant all I will get is peak results until I hit HCG zero.

I'm still bleeding lightly, darker now, so I suspect I am on a long old road now back to my body thinking it's fertile again. So annoying

[allisgood1]

Sorry to hear this seb

Please still go to your scan Monday because it doesn't sound as if you've passed the sac. It's something you cannot miss, you have contractions and very heavy bleeding prior (in my experience). I would expect you have retained tissue. Take care.

[sebsmummy1]

I absolutely will go don't worry x

[Carly6971]

Hey sebsmummy just want to give you a hug as we were on the same antenatal board and I too lost my baby early hours of Thursday morning, so know a little of how you feel :( so sorry for your loss - not that that makes anything any better.

How are you coping? I am not doing very well :( xxx

[sebsmummy1]

Oh Carly I'm so sorry you lost your pregnancy . I'm so heartbroken for you, it's so unfair.

I'm ok thank you, emotional but coping. I have a scan on Monday to check whether the miscarriage is complete. I never got any contractions but on Saturday I was passing a lot of mucus and black tissue (I didn't actually realise I was miscarrying until Sunday when I started bleeding heavily). So the whole thing has just been weird and confusing.

Do you want to talk about what happened with you? Font know if it will help it not xxx

[Carly6971]

Oh sebs I wish I was as strong, I am a wreck. I find it hard to even get up and dressed in the morning :(

My mc was awful (not that anyone else's isn't). My hubby was in Amsterdam on business and all my family live 2 hours away, I also don't drive. I woke up Wednesday and was just bleeding when I wiped after using the toilet, this got worse, then eased off to nothing then got worse and continued in that pattern all day Wednesday. Of course I was hysterical. I rang the docs and midwife, neither of which seemed interested and just said it happened a lot but not to worry if there was no pain or clots (which there wasn't) but how can you not worry this baby meant everything to me I had been waiting 6 years!!! Anyway long story short mum and dad drove down and by bed time bleeding had stopped. However an hour in bed and I was in agony with 'contractions' every 10 mins until around 3 hours later they had got that close together they were like one never ending agonising pain. That's when the terrible bleeding started and I passed the baby. My mum rang 111 due to the amount of blood (she has haemorrhaged before so was worried) and they insisted on sending an ambulance even though I was begging to go in the car, I ended up in hospital from 4am, where I eventually got a scan at 930am to confirm what I already knew...my baby was gone. However there was still a lot of 'stuff' left so I have another scan Thursday.

I am just so upset. How can life be so cruel? It's not fair :( I am so scared that I will never be a mummy, I just want my baby back more than anything in the world :( I feel so guilty that I just left him to be flushed away :,(

Thanks for letting me vent...I feel like I have no one even though I have the best support ever who are all hurting as well xx

[sebsmummy1]

Carly life is so unfair and your experience sounds so frightening. Unfortunately miscarriage is extremely common in the first trimester and that is why medical professionals act as though they are unphased when you are screaming inside.

Thing is there is nothing that can be done. No professional can prevent a miscarriage once the process has begun.

There are some things to be positive about when you feel stronger. You can get pregnant!! There are claims that post miscarriage your body is more fertile so there is a good chance you could conceive again soon.

You have had a complete natural mc which means your body will click back into ovulating again potentially within two weeks!! My sister lost her pregnancy last year and was pregnant again before she got her first menstrual cycle and that pregnancy went full term.

You must try and grieve for what you lost whilst looking to the future otherwise you are going to sink in your own tears. There is a great TTC after miscarriage thread within the conception site on here that is great. I joined a few days ago and it helps to talk to people who have gone through the same but are laughing through their tears.

It sounds as though you have an amazing family and a gorgeous dog and you will get through this. Promise.

[Carly6971]

Your right, I do have the most amazing family ever who are all equally as devastated and are a fantastic support.

I already (in the positive moments) take comfort from the fact that I got pregnant naturally, just scared it will take another 6 years!

[sebsmummy1]

Carly have they done investigations as to why it took 6 years?

[Carly6971]

I have polycistic ovaries, have had clomid which didn't result in a pregnancy after 6 attempts. Next step was ivf but couldn't get in nhs due to being over weight. So in 2013 we brought our first house and pit ttc on the back burner, and as with everything we try to do buying the house wasn't simple and first 2 fell through (1 a week before completion!) so it took the whole of 2013, we finally moved nov 2013 and I quit my job for something with less hours as our 2014 plan was to loose weight/ get healthier and then pay for private ivf as nhs standards were so strict I would never get to them, the low and behold on the 4th jan we got a total shock bfp...I just suspected I could be my cycles are always very irregular but the fact this one was so long just made me wonder, and after so many yrs trying I hate preg tests as the bfn used to upset me much more than af arriving, so I tested with a clearblue ov test (all I had in the house) and when that was positive I brought a preg test and got our first ever bfp! Best 9+5 weeks of my life :) x

[sebsmummy1]

I had a feeling you were going to say PCOS. I am sure you are aware and I am pushing at an open door here, but diet is ABSOLUTELY key. It's not just something to consider or do sometimes, if you can stick to the PCOS diet that is available online and in the books and get your BMI into normal range I am sure you could regulate your hormones and improve your fertility.

A friend of mine followed slimming world and lost loads of weight and found herself unexpectedly pregnant at 39 with her new partner when she had been told she was infertile in her early twenties.

[Carly6971]

Yes I definitely know that's what needs to be done, but besides being over weight and my cycles slightly longer (33-36 days) I seem to pretty regular within that time scale and always get a positive on my cbfm. I was going to join slimming world but my fertility do pic banned carbs, impossible for me as I do not like meat really and only eat very little of it and slimming world seemed like u could eat lots of carbs but maybe it's worth a go? X

[sebsmummy1]

Well I did Slimming World and followed the Original Plan. I think that would work brilliantly for you and would allow you to have that extra incentive that going to class gives you.

Look, we are talking about the future and stuff. How exciting

[Carly6971]

What does the original plan entail? Yes I have been thinking about the future afternoon/evenings seem to be much better for me. I know what I need to do just need this bloody bleeding to stop now so I can get back to the gym! Thanks for talking to me it's nice to chat to someone who knows what your going through. When will u start trying again? Do you know if it will take ages for our cycles to return to normal? X

[bakingtins]

Sorry to hijack but I did SW and found it easy to stick to the Extra Easy plan. Basically you have to plan your meals around 'free' foods, which is any lean meat or fish, eggs, pasta, rice, potato, couscous, fresh or tinned fruit and veg. Every meal has to be at least one third veg or fruit. You get measured amounts of 'fibre' foods (bread, cereals) and 'calcium' foods (milk cheese etc) and a certain number of 'syns' to spend on treats, fatty foods etc. It basically means you have to home cook, but it's easy to stick to and no calorie counting. The magazine is good and has lots of recipes and a starter plan so buy a copy and see if it's right for you.
The cycle immediately following a MC is not-so-affectionately referred to as a WTF (what the ...) cycle as anything goes, though the average time is 4-6 weeks for a first period, it can be a lot longer.

[sebsmummy1]

I'm going to start again straight away Carly. They tend to say wait one cycle because it makes any pregnancy easy to date but there is no medical reason why you can't try and catch the egg straight after a mc.

I am going to treat the bleeding like a menstrual cycle and try and track ovulation once my hpt shows negative. In the meantime we will start BDing every other day once the scan shows my mc is over.

Re. Slimming world original. It concentrates on lower carb alternatives and protein. I think it would work really well for you.

[sebsmummy1]

My bleeding has pretty much stopped today and it's been a week. It may start again though but I checked my cervix the last two days and yesterday it was low and dilated, now it is high and closed, so I think I'm done.

[Carly6971]

I am defo going to look in to joining slimming world and get back to the gym as soon as this is over. I am also going to treat this bleed as a period I think and use my cbfm once it stops and try the SMEP method. Part of me is really excited to try again now I have got pregnant once but the other part is like don't be stupid you have yrs before it will happen again...if it ever does. Going docs on Monday to get back on Metformin and see if they will check for anything else that May have played a part in my mc coz I am at increased risk anyway because of pcos. Plus I always have my last 3 month supply of clomid to fall back on was saving it until I got some weight off n stopped smoking but caught before doing either - although I did quit cigs as soon as I got my bfp x