Over eating as a way of dealing with miscarriage

(11 Posts)
hazchem Thu 02-Jan-14 05:01:36

I had a miscarriage about 6 weeks ago. I've been really really really overeating. As I ate something earlier today when I was feeling over full already I wondered if it was an unconscious way of trying to get the feeling of morning sickness back.
Has anyone else felt like this?

cupcake78 Thu 02-Jan-14 05:15:01

Firstly I'm really sorry about what's happened! It can be very upsetting.

Overrating is a very common reaction to a hurt or bereavement and that is exactly what a miscarriage is.

Its a way of keeping your feelings in check. Comfort eating is exactly what it is eating to give you comfort.

I did it after my miscarriages because I felt so empty and it filled me up. thanks

hazchem Thu 02-Jan-14 05:35:36

Empty and raw. Sort of edgy and fragile. It's unlike any other grief I've experienced. Food is better I guess then other coping mechanisms I've had in the past.

Thanks for the kind words

cupcake78 Thu 02-Jan-14 05:44:48

Give yourself time! I was amazed at the effect it had on me and each one was different. It's very difficult to grieve a miscarriage.

6 weeks is nothing. I'm 7 years down the line from my last miscarriage and thankfully have had 2 children in that time. It took me a while to learn to realise that I was a mum even though my children weren't here and others simply thought I was crackers I'm surewink

I few things that helped me are I made a memory box of my baby's and put everything in there. Some just have early scan pictures, others have blankets, hand and foot prints etc.

I bought a special Christmas bauble for them so at Christmas they are all acknowledged.

You could write a letter to your baby and put it in.

Please take the time to recognise your loss. Don't diminish it!

ZingChoirsOfAngels Thu 02-Jan-14 06:55:42

I did that.
I think subconsciously I wanted to get bigger to reflect how my body should be getting bigger if I was still pg.sad

I gained 2 stones in the next 6 months and only stopped overeating when the "EDD" had come and gone.
then I had a bulging belly and no baby and it was shit.

so I understand that it is a temporary coping mechanism, but it will not be doing you any favours in the long run - especially if you decide to try again in the near future.

I'm so sorry you lost a baby thanks and of course I know you are grieving - but try to be strong and don't "eat your pain".
try and get some counselling.

I hope this helpful

hazchem Thu 02-Jan-14 09:54:26

Thanks for your help.

I love the letter idea cupcake and think I will work on it pver the next day or too.

Zing that's might be part of it too. Watching my belly expand.
We would like to start trying straight away so I am keen to sort my head out. I've spoken with Doctor and am getting some tests down to make sure the eating isn't due to something medical and will look at counselling. It just sort of hit me today as I went to eat something and realized I felt slightly sick.

I'm really pleased I posted.
Thanks

ZingChoirsOfAngels Fri 03-Jan-14 22:37:09

I'm glad you are looking at this as a problem to sort and not brushing it aside.

you will get stronger and you will get healthier.
the pain of loosing your baby will never go away, but it will soften - in the meantime you need your health to carry on.
I hope you can get the help you need and that you will concieve soon.

you can always PM if you want to talk more.
all the best.

and one thing about food - soups are a perfect food to fill you up, you will simply not feel too hungry as often.
pureed/blended ones are the best (they can help with weight loss too)

good luck

hazchem Sat 04-Jan-14 01:34:01

Thanks Zing
I also need to be healthy for the child that is here too.

It's summer here so I might have to make some gazpacho or something like that smile

TinyTear Mon 06-Jan-14 13:24:35

yep, comfort eating... been there, done that, got a shock when weighed at the recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment...

hazchem Mon 06-Jan-14 22:00:46

TinyTear I can't face the scales at the moment smile I'm sure it would take my breath away.

Hope the clinic is helping you.

TinyTear Tue 07-Jan-14 08:18:57

It did - well all tests came back normal and then I had a DD

Now ttc number 2 and had mc number 4 at the end of October...

comfort eating after the last mc was also bad, but not to the point of before DD... started running again to kick all this back again... hopefully

Good luck!

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