Feeling guilty over Christmas

(7 Posts)
HoobleDooble Wed 01-Jan-14 10:06:40

Just that really. Been trying for DC2 for 3 1/2 years now, had MC at 11+4 in November 2011.

Just watching DS (5) playing alone with his toys he had for Christmas, feeling that someone is missing, and beating myself up because he doesn't get to share the Christmas excitement with a sibling, the way both DH and myself got to do when we were little.

Turned 40 last year, my DM had quite an early menopause and I'm beginning to realise it's never going to happen.

Rockchick1984 Wed 01-Jan-14 13:52:29

I'm an only child and loved everything about it, so please don't feel guilty on your DS's behalf about it - I'd have been devastated as a 5 year old if my parents had announced I was getting a brother or sister!!

Have you been referred for tests etc?

HoobleDooble Wed 01-Jan-14 14:56:33

No, I broached the subject with my GP after my mc and as it only took me 5 weeks to get pregnant with DS and I had got pregnant with the baby I lost, he didn't really seem concerned, just made some dismissive comment about it taking longer as I was pushing 40. I don't know whether I want to know if there's no chance, or if I should just keep trying until it hit the change.

Only1scoop Wed 01-Jan-14 18:10:18

Hooble I'm feeling a little of this at moment. Dd 3.5 and we sadly had MMC at 17 weeks recently. I'm 41 this month and dp almost 50.
I'm not sure we will try again.
I'm quite emotional anyway at moment but seeing my friends 3 little siblings yesterday and how they cared for their little sister did bring a tear to my eyes. So lovely.
I get the pangs also watching her playing etc.
Rock nice to hear you enjoyed being an only child. Cheered me up smile

Hessy Wed 01-Jan-14 20:47:07

Hooble I'm wondering the same after a mmc and ectopic pregnancy surgery which removed a Fallopian tube, both within the last three months. Wondering how much I should prepare myself for not having another child.

However my DP has always only wanted one, finding research that suggests only children are actually happier, growing up with less conflict in their lives. My memory of childhood was constant sibling rivalry and arguments.

A loving home life is the most important thing, no matter the size.

Hoping it all works out x

HoobleDooble Thu 02-Jan-14 11:30:44

Thank you for your responses, I try to remind myself that I'm blessed with the beautiful, clever little boy I do have, while some people remain childless (my best friend has recently had to have a hysterectomy after years of fertility treatment).

Hope you all have a happy 2014 xx

Kasterborous Thu 02-Jan-14 22:33:39

I feel the same as you HoobieDooble we had six miscarriages before DD and we would love another one, but I'm now 41 and might be going through an early menopause and can't see it happening. I was the oldest of five and can't imagine growing up with no siblings. But like you said I'm very grateful we have our DD.

Thanks for posting that Rockchick1984 it's nice to hear that you were an only one and very happy.

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