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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Due date approaching

7 replies

Tomkat79 · 12/12/2013 22:46

Hello

The baby we lost in May would've been due next Wednesday. Thought I'd be absolutely fine about it but not sure I am. Hard to explain how I feel really. MC is the most bizarre grief I've ever known.

I'm extremely thankful that I'm pregnant again and have the 20 week scan next Wednesday too. This baby is due on the anniversary of our MC. Can't believe the dates have worked out that way.

I am absolutely petrified about the scan. I think I felt movement around 18 weeks but not very consistent and have managed to assume the worst.

Have hung a special bauble on the tree and candle burning. Sigh.

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Lovelybitofsquirrel · 13/12/2013 00:05

Try not to worry about the scan. I didn't really feel any movement til about 20 weeks.

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Kasterborous · 13/12/2013 19:10

Sorry you had to go through this, and congratulations on your pregnancy. It's normal to have very mixed feelings on your due date. The fact you are pregnant again doesn't detract from what you lost.

You don't feel a lot of movements at 20 weeks it's more later on. When I was pregnant with DD I used to get paranoid that I hadn't felt her move, I think when you have had miscarriages it's worse in some ways because you are always expecting it to go wrong and get worried over every little thing. One thing I do know is that worry doesn't harm your unborn baby. I worried all through my pregnancy with DD but she's a happy child.

I still think about the babies we lost, even though the first one was six years ago. It gets easier over time but you never forget.

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MrsGiraffe12 · 13/12/2013 21:07

Tomkat. I remember talking with you when you miscarried as I did in May too. I was due in Christmas Day and am dreading the due date. I thought I'd be ok but an not. Just want you to know your not alone. Private message me if you need someone to chat to xx

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Tomkat79 · 13/12/2013 22:46

Thank you lovelies. kaster I sure do miss the ignorant bliss of pregnancy pre MC. So glad you have a happy, healthy DD.

mrsG I remember talking to you to. Seems like May was a hold lifetime ago in some ways yet in others it just feels like yesterday. Sending you lots of love at this crap time xxx

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Iwaswatchingthat · 13/12/2013 22:50

You are right about it being a strange grief. Feels very private to me. Think to everyone else it was 'oh well these things happen' then just move on.

Stranger still as my mc was of an unplanned shock preg.

But I still think about the little person they would have been and the fact they would have started school in the sept just gone. I still feel that I should be the mother of a reception age child and I'm not.

Sending you lots of love.

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Bakingtins · 14/12/2013 08:16

Sending you lots of strength for Wednesday tomkat
Having your scan then is going to make it a very emotionally charged day, but hopefully will give you some positives to focus on.
I found it very helpful to plan something to honour the lost baby, even if it's just a few minutes out of the day. I think kaster had it exactly right when she said the new pregnancy doesn't detract from what you lost.

Thinking of mrsg too. It is horrible when an EDD falls on a celebration day - my first one was my birthday, which ever after (4 yrs now) has been bittersweet. The first one is the toughest though.