Managing a MMC at home. What can I expect?

(15 Posts)
basgetti Thu 05-Dec-13 13:33:51

Hi I had a thread in pregnancy but it seemed more appropriate to start one here now. Yesterday I had a scan at the EPU due to some bleeding and discovered I'd had a MMC at about 8 and a half weeks. I've taken the option to manage it at home as bleeding had already started and this was recommended to me as the best option.

I'm having brownish red discharge like the end of a period and getting quite severe cramping. Does anybody have any experience of how long the process takes and what I can expect? I'm starting to get anxious now every time I go to the toilet and getting in a bit of a state. I was a bit numb yesterday when I agreed to try to deal with it at home and now I'm worried if it was the right thing to do. Thanks in advance x

ParenthoodJourney Thu 05-Dec-13 13:46:22

hello basgetti.

I'm so sorry to hear this. x

I don't really have much to say about what to expect as I have only ever had the ERPC option - I just wanted to say, that if you were feeling a bit panicky and in a bit of a state it may not be too late to change your mind if you give them a ring and don't want to do it at home anymore. They can make an appointment for you. sometimes even on the same day.

I think it varies enourmously in how long it takes. But it seems your body has realised what's happened and is reacting. So therefor i would imagine it shouldn't take long but they vary from person to person.

As you are cramping it may happen within the next 48 hours

I hope this helps a tiny bit. Hugs.
x

basgetti Thu 05-Dec-13 14:06:23

Thanks Parenthood, I'm sorry you've been through this too. Yes they said I had the option to change my mind and go for medical or surgical management. I'm thinking of maybe seeing what happens tonight and reassessing in the morning, I've got my Mum on standby to take me to the hospital if needed. Thanks again x

Irishmammybread Thu 05-Dec-13 14:37:31

Sorry to hear you're going through this basgetti x
I've had several naturally managed miscarriages.
My first was at 11 weeks, I'd started spotting some blood on a Saturday,phoned the EPU the next week and was booked for a scan on the Thursday.That morning I started bleeding heavily ,by the time I was scanned the baby had gone (so I don't know what stage of gestation it was at before it stopped growing) but the pregnancy sac was still there. I was given the option of medical management or ERPC, but like you because I was bleeding heavily they advised natural management. I was told to go back/go to A&E if bleeding was very heavy ie filling a pad in less than an hour,or if pain was unbearable or I wasn't coping. Pains progressed over the next few days but I didn't pass the pregnancy sac till the Saturday evening. I would say at the worst the pains were like early contractions rather than the bad period pains that had been euphemistically described but it was manageable. I was also surprised how big and solid the pregnancy sac was when passed. The
pain eased off a lot after this, bleeding was a lot less heavy and settled down but it was prob about 10days before it stopped.
I've also had a MMC where we'd seen a heartbeat at 8 weeks but found out at a 10week scan growth had stopped at 8w6d. I opted to miscarry naturally again. I know risks of infection or complications/scarring are low with ERPC or Medical management, but they are lower with naturally managed. This time I had some cramping with no bleeding for a few days first but didn't start bleeding till 12 weeks, it took a further 48hrs from bleeding starting before sac was passed .My other earlier miscarriages at about 6 weeks were like heavy painful periods.
So I think miscarriages can progress in different ways even for the same person. It helps to have someone with you for support and take painkillers if you need them.
There was a brilliant thread on here about the practicalities of dealing with miscarriage, it might be worth doing a search for it, sorry, don't know how to link.
It can take a while to get over, physically first and emotional recovery is slower. Look after yourself x

Bakingtins Thu 05-Dec-13 14:40:27

I'm so sorry you lost your baby basgetti
You may find this thread with tips for coping helpful.
Rule of thumb for getting yourself checked out is if you fill a maxi pad in less than an hour, if you have pain that you can't cope with on standard painkillers or if you feel faint/unwell in yourself.
I've had 4MC at home at 8-10 weeks and with each of them had very heavy bleeding for a short period of time before I passed the sac, then it settled down. On one occasion it got stuck and I had to go to hospital to get it removed, but in general I'd say you are better at home with your own bed, bathroom and large bar of chocolate.
flowers

Parsley2506 Thu 05-Dec-13 14:41:46

Hi basgetti. First and foremost, I am so so sorry for your loss.

I too had a MMC about 3 weeks ago, found after a bit of brownish red bleeding at 11 weeks, baby stopped developing at 6. I was sent home to await a follow up scan a week later because they wanted to rule out my dates being wrong but started to miscarry naturally a few days later.

Everyone's experience will vary but in my case, I had about 4 days of very light brownish bleeding with cramps getting progressively stronger, most noticeably at night time.
I started getting bright red bleeding in fairly significant quantities (more than a typical period but not gushing or anything scary like that) on the night of day 5 post scan and the cramps got much much worse, but manageable with ibuprofen. Spent a lot of time that night just sat on the loo with DH sitting with me watching tv on his ipad, basically anything to distract myself.
The following day/eve was the worst of the bunch cramps wise. I'd say they were more like contractions really, I was genuinely in agony for a good 5 hours or so, DH ended up calling 111 who dispatched an ambulance. Tbh that wasnt really needed, but he was worrying and I was in no fit state to talk to the phone operator. The paramedics were very lovely and did offer to take me in to a&e but I figured I was in the worst of it by then and would rather stay home. They advised to alternative ibuprofen and codeine/paracetamol so I could take a painkiller every 2 hrs instead of 4 and that definitely helped, although it really was an ordeal.
Now it's over, I have very limited and numbed memories of that evening, which is probably a good thing. Lots of women miscarry naturally without as much pain but I was unlucky I guess.

Even with hindsight I still don't know if I would have preferred a D&C or medical management tbh. I hate hospitals, and the thought of being anywhere near maternity for such a shit reason seemed too distressing. As painful as it was, being at home was comforting and the fact my body did what it was meant to and I saw it through 'to the end' so to speak helped too.

Whichever way you choose to manage it, it's going to be unpleasant but its entirely your choice, there's a great thread on the practicalities of managing a MC at home here.

Whatever you decide, I wish you a speedy recovery and hope you are feeling better soon. Mumsnet is a great place to come and vent.

basgetti Thu 05-Dec-13 16:09:22

Thanks everyone for your messages, and the really helpful information. I'm sorry you have all been through this too. I've decided I definitely want to stay at home, its cosy and comfortable and I can have a hot bath when I feel like it and lie on the sofa watching TV (and eating chocolate!) I just hope things happen soon. Thanks again x

Parsley2506 Thu 05-Dec-13 16:46:37

Don't forget cake. Take care of yourself basgetti, and I hope you're out the other side of this soon.

basgetti Sat 07-Dec-13 17:38:17

The last 24 hours have been awful, I passed the pregnancy in the night. I'm hoping that is the worst of it over with now as the pain is easing a bit although still quite heavy bleeding. I just feel drained today. Totally exhausted like I can barely keep my eyes open. I haven't cried since I had the scan. Worried it is going to hit me soon. DS (5) is asking if I am going to get a new baby in my tummy soon. Feel like shit.

sizethree Sat 07-Dec-13 18:13:28

Hi basgetti, so sorry that you are going through this awful experience.

I have recently suffered from a MMC too. Such a similar story to yours.
I noticed a small amount of brown coloured blood at 11 weeks 5 days.

Went to my EPU and they did a scan and it sadly showed that the pregnancy had stopped developing around 8 weeks.

As I had started miscarrying naturally I decided to opt for the medical management at home. (there was a weeks wait for an ERPC, which I really couldn't handle waiting for). The medical management speeds things up a lot and for that I was grateful as it all happened late that eve.

Physically you are definitely over the worse of it. Expect period like bleeding for around 2 weeks, and to feel tired. As it's a huge amount distress for your body to have gone through. Be gentle with yourself and let your body heal.

Emotionally it's a different story, and everyone copes in their own way. So there's nothing that's right or wrong about how you'll be feeling over the next few weeks.

But don't hold everything in to yourself. I really found comfort in these message boards. So do reach out and keep talking. We are all here for you. x

basgetti Sat 07-Dec-13 18:47:54

Hi sizethree, I am sorry that you have been through this too. Thank you for your message, it helps to hear from other people who understand what I'm going through. I do have a tendency to keep things to myself, I have just wanted to get on with it quietly and alone. I will keep using these boards, they have been very supportive and helpful. Thanks again x

sizethree Sun 08-Dec-13 15:15:40

Hi, how are you feeling today bagsgetti? Hoping you're physically feeling but less painful and that you're getting well looked after by those who love you. X

Procrastinating Sun 08-Dec-13 15:27:19

Hello basgetti, I'm sorry for your loss.

If you continue to feel tired you may need some iron. I was in a terrible state after my mc but some of that was anemia, I took Floradix which helped a lot.

basgetti Sun 08-Dec-13 23:48:26

Hi I'm doing ok, the pain has eased now and it is just like a very heavy period. It is hurting when I pass urine though and I feel like I need to go every 5 minutes! I will see the doctor if it continues in case of infection. Thank you for the tip about the iron, I do still feel drained but that may also be because I've barely slept, I keep going to bed early but can't relax or get comfy. I had bloated up quite a bit within the first few weeks and I looked pregnant, but over the last couple of days my stomach seems to have deflated and gone soft again. It feels empty now, not sure if that makes much sense but it has made the loss seem real somehow.

I have some nice things happening this week, going to DS's nativity play and seeing my sister and nephew for a trip to visit Santa. Hopefully keeping busy will help me start to feel better. Thanks everyone for your kind messages x

sizethree Mon 09-Dec-13 21:26:05

Glad that today has been less difficult and that the pain and bleeding is subsiding a bit.
Your body will get back into a natural sleep pattern, and insomnia is pretty normal after such emotional and physical upheaval.
I still had pregnancy symptoms up to a few days after I miscarried, and when they settled down I felt the biggest sense of loss as I realised how different my body had felt when I was pregnant. But it was mixed with relief that I was getting back to normal after the loss.
So glad you have a lovely week to look forward to. But be prepared to be caught out by a roller coaster of emotions as your hormones settle down. I'm still finding that the silliest of things really anger or upset me. So be armed with pocket tissues and lots of counting to 20!
The new year is just around the corner, and here's hoping it is a happier start for all of us and fingers crossed for some sucussful pregnancies in 2014.

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