Missed miscarriage, I want an EPRC but hospital saying no

[Kookookichoo]

Hi all, I want to find out if anyone else has had this experience and what my rights are/what to expect. I found out at 12 week scan on Thursday that I have probably miscarried, though am having blood tests to rule out ectopic pregnancy as it is not completely clear cut (though they are pretty certain, and have told me it is just a precaution, I will have second blood test and results tomorrow). I get incredibly painful periods, I am also still suffering very badly from morning sickness - I am afraid I will have to wait weeks for nature to take its course and that it will be unbearably painful. I have told the hospital this (Gloucester Royal) and they are telling me I have to either wait for nature or have the pills (I am even more terrified of resulting pain from this option), apparently there isn't enough stuff in my uterus to warrant an EPRC, it would be unsafe as high risk of perforation and they wouldn't definitely get it all out, has anyone else heard this? Are they right? It's really what I want as it all seems so straightforward. This is such a horrific situation, I just want it all over as quickly and painlessly as possible so I can get on with my life.

[PicardyThird]

First of all, I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

My, sadly relatively extensive, experience has been rather different to yours, in that I have felt those caring for me through my 5 mcs have sometimes been rather trigger-happy with the ERPCs, of which I have had four. I have never heard the reasons they have given for not wanting to do one - is there a reason why your risk of perforation is higher than usual; does it have something to do with the size of your womb atm (unlikely, if there is 'not enough stuff' there)? There is always a risk with ERPC of 'not getting it all out' (so sorry for all this cold clinical language), but more or less the same risk is given with waiting it out or the pills.

Are you absolutely sure of your dates? Once ectopic is ruled out, I would, IIWY, want to be sure that my dates were right so that I knew what had been seen was definitely a non-developing pregnancy, iyswim. If that is certain, then I would, yes, maybe see if I could get a second opinion or go somewhere else for ERPC. That said, I miscarried an 8- or 9-week foetus at home a few months ago and it was like a short, very efficient, minimally painful mini-labour. I have also, in a previous mc, been injected with a contraction inducer after a not-quite-complete ERPC and the pain from that was not as horrific as I had feared. So even if you do have the pills it may not be as bad as you fear. I can understand the desire to have it over with, though, very well indeed. My experience of ERPC is that it is generally straightforward and produces minimal physical trauma (the emotional side, obv, being something else altogether).

Good luck with getting through this in the best way for you. Be kind to yourself.

[Kookookichoo]

Thank you, it is helpful to know before tomorrow that what they are saying is not right, I felt like they really just wanted me to go away and get on with it. I am very certain of my dates, I keep a record of my periods and don't have sex very often (2 children under 5!) so there is no way it could be viable, though I am told there is the occasional miracle, but there is just an empty, 24mm irregular sac like blob and definitely no baby, they seem pretty certain. I feel like I am right to push for what I feel I need, there is no reason for me to be at particular risk. It has been really weighing on my mind (hence up so late), I don't think I could take days/weeks of waiting in fear and still be same at the end of it.

[Kookookichoo]

I am so sorry you have been through through this so often, once is he'll and I can't imagine. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.

[Bakingtins]

kookoo can I suggest you check out the Miscarriage Association website so you are well informed about your options? There is a 1% complication risk with all three options (including easily dealt with things like infection or incomplete miscarriage) and perforation is v rare, so I think you are being misinformed. If your baby never developed then your body has already had weeks of not recognising this so expectant management seems not to be a good option. Needing some closure and not wanting the unpleasant process of a natural or medical miscarriage are perfectly valid reasons to request an ERPC. Talk to a different staff member first and call them on what you've been told, but be prepared to employ broken record technique "I'm sorry, that option is unacceptable to me because xyz..." if you need to. It's completely unacceptable if you have not been given an accurate picture of the risks/benefits of the treatment options at a very vulnerable time. I hope you get much better care today.

[Cybercat]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I have just lost my pregnancy at 6 weeks (but I know I should have been further along as scans had shown slow growth etc). As much as I would have liked to wake up and it all be over I have chosen medical management and took the first tablet yesterday. I have been assured that I will be given pain relief and told not to put up with any pain. Please don't worry about the pain - it will be prevented.

[Kookookichoo]

Thank you, I am so sorry you have to go through this too. I hope that you are doing as well as you can be.

A total Change of attitude today, I am testing very high for pregnancy hormones so they are concerned I may have a molar pregnancy (though it ha been explained how rare this is) and therefore have scheduled me for an EPRC tomorrow. I am relieved it will be over, though of course now worried about this new complication. I have promised not to google it! The midwife I saw today was much more understAnding and treated me like a grown up, which I really appreciated.

[Bakingtins]

Glad you were treated better. Good luck for tomorrow. Several ladies on here who have experience of molar pregnancy if it comes to having to cross that bridge.