The unacknowledged grief of miscarriage

(8 Posts)

An upcoming anniversary prompted me to write about my experience with miscarriage...
Story Of A Miscarriage (Part 1)
Story Of A Miscarriage (Part 2) What No One Tells You
Simply sharing what happened can make it easier on others.

Forester Fri 18-Oct-13 20:19:12

Thanks for sharing.

I can particularly relate to your first post about having the scan. Both times I was given the news I was completely floored (first time because I didn't know there was such a thing as a MMC, the second time because my pg symptons continued long past the time the baby had died). I would love to get pg again but the though of going for another scan terrifies me....

Apileofballyhoo Fri 18-Oct-13 20:32:29

I'm sorry you both had such terrible experiences. I lost my little baby at 11 weeks. Yes to the sheer volume of blood - it was very frightening apart from the sadness, the feeling I'd let my baby down. My MIL was also very unreasonable, which had horrific consequences and nearly finished my marriage. My baby would be 11 weeks old now. So sad.

firsttimekat Fri 18-Oct-13 22:25:10

Thank you.

The end if your second one is so true, you know rationally you aren't the only one but it means a lot when people share.

Wolfiefan Fri 18-Oct-13 22:33:57

My first pg was a mmc. I had no idea that could happen. The night before my scan I went to the theatre. I sat and cradled the knowledge to myself that the day after I'd see my baby. I had an ERPC instead.
A colleague wrote in a card that she had been through similar and if I ever needed to talk she was there. I didn't but that knowledge comforted me more than I could say.

A miscarriage is accompanied by such deep primaeval feelings - feelings that often take us by surprise - that making a connection with someone else on a genuine, human level becomes crucial in bringing us back from that lonely place.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences here and reading about mine. At first I thought I may have made a mistake sharing this - now I know I didn't.

Bakingtins Sat 19-Oct-13 13:36:58

You write very movingly about your experience, Aisha. Would you consider submitting your pieces to the Miscarriage Association to share on their site? I think they would help a lot of couples who have also been floored by loss.
I hope life has treated you more kindly in the intervening years.

Messaged you Bakingtins.

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