Petrified to try again.

[justhayley]

Hi I miscarried 3 weeks ago and am wondering how long it took everyone else to try again?
I have a 17 month old so know my body can do it but I'm so scared of having another miscarriage that it's making me not want to even try to get pregnant. I know it's still early days but is this a normal feeling?
My DP Is working abroad ATM & won't be home for 2 weeks, but I'm already getting nervous about him coming home & having sex. Just want that excited broody feeling back

[Rockchick1984]

3 weeks really isn't a long time to heal emotionally (or physically for that matter). There's no hurry, just try again when the time feels right for you.

Personally me and DH discussed it and while I wasn't ready to actively TTC, I felt ok to start having unprotected sex and see what happened. Think that was about a month after the miscarriage. I had one period then conceived that month, am now 17 weeks and all looks fab thankfully! It was incredibly emotional though finding out I was pregnant so soon, I didn't give myself long to get over the grief so have had to deal with it while coping with pregnancy hormones too! Had expected it to take a few months to catch again, it took 5 months of actively TTC with the baby I lost!

[Bakingtins]

Normal. Nobody wants to put themselves potentially back in the firing line. Your chances are actually pretty good for it all working out ok next time, your risk of another miscarriage is not increased above the risk for all pregnancies of 15%, or looking on the bright side, an 85% chance of a successful pregnancy.
It's still early days, there is no harm in using (non-hormonal) contraception for a few months until the desire for a baby outweighs the fear of a miscarriage.
There is a nice thread here for TTC after MC, with a sister thread for pregnancy after MC on the pregnancy board. Plenty of company in the anxious club!

[justhayley]

Hi thank you for your replys. I guess I should really give myself some time & go with my natural emotions.

[justhayley]

Ps double thanks for the link Bakimgtins

[bumblebeenest]

I understand. I had an early miscarriage at 5 weeks after managing to have 2 healthy pregnancies before. I honestly thought I would have no trouble again and would sail into the third pregnancy without problems... Anyway 4 months on I fell pregnant again, and my 12 week scan is this Thursday. I actually had some bleeding with this pregnancy early on which terrified me but booked an early scan and they saw the heartbeat. Unfortunately due to the miscarriage it has completely knocked my confidence and all I have done for 12 weeks is almost expect the worst. It really puts a downer on the pregnancy and there isn't much people can tell you to make you feel any better.

Only you will know when you are ready. This wasn't meant to make you feel down but I just wanted you to know that everyone is in the same boat after miscarriage. The worse thing for me last time was that I instantly told everyone after I peed on the stick! Then I had to explain to everyone only days later that I had lost it - as you can imagine that wasn't the greatest thing I have done. This time round I have kept tight lipped and told only my nearest and dearest.

It will def happen for you again, and probably sooner than you think. No doubt you will be totally fine as Bakingtins said the odds are in your favour.

Lots of baby dust to you. xx

[pumpkinsweetie]

So sorry for your loss op

It doesn't matter when others feel ready, it's when you feel ready that counts. If you are not quite ready yet maybe a barrier method would be best so you can try when you feel up to it, without having to wait for hormonal contraception to wear off.

I have 4 dc and i had my first ever miscarriage in february, it really knocked me for six and although becoming pregnant again in early April my worries are still there, although i'm now 26 weeks. It's something you will always worry about happening again. It's very natural to worry.

[justhayley]

Thanks for your reply's.
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks and iv just started to think about dtd and TTC again. Feeling a lot better now - bit odd around newborns which seem to be everywhere right now along with my 4 closest friends who are ALL expecting but think I'm getting there. DP in military and has been away for 6 weeks so iv not had to think about dtd or contraception which I'm quite glad about. He's back next week and after that long will no doubt be bursting to dtd lol. I ovulated a few days ago, but havnt had a period yet - kind of expecting it in the next few days (I always ovulate v late in a cycle and AF arrives soon after). Anyway that rules out TTC in October anyway so I'm hoping by November I'll feel 100% again and be ready to TTC