Thanks everyone. Armadale and Notannabell I am sorry for your losses too.
I just feel so responsible for everyone else's sadness. We had told DSD (15) a couple of weeks ago and she was so excited (I'd been worried about her reaction, stupidly!) and she broke her wee heart last night when we told her. She has been very good in trying to look after me though, and helping with DS who is thankfully to young to understand.
I've got 3 healthy children and I had some bad experiences while I was pregnant with 2 of them - it didn't do them any harm. I also had 2 MC one in 2008 and one yesterday, like you. I have no idea why I lost my 2 babies but I was actually much more careful with pragnancies that I have lost.
A MC is a heartbreaking thing, and I should think all the more so when you have had such a journey to conceive.
If you possibly can, please, please try and and stop blaming yourself.
I have unfortunately lost several, and find it very hard not to blame myself or try and pinpoint what I can have done wrong. The EPU nurse told me that they did a study of pregnant ladies who lost a partner, parent or sibling in the 911 attacks and the MC rate was no higher than normal, showing that even extreme stress and bereavement does not cause these things. This gave me some peace of mind.
Don't really know why I am posting this but just feel like I need to get it all of my chest.
MC was confirmed this morning at 7+3. Started bleeding on Friday, scanned at EPU but sac still visible but measuring approx a week behind and too small to see heartbeat, bled all weekend but passed clots this morning, went back to EPU and the re-scanned and confirmed complete MC. 'Luckily' (according to registrar) I do not need MM or D&C. This is my first MC, have one DS who is 2 who was conceived after 4yrs TTC and lots of failed fertility treatment, never expected to ever conceive again, so we were so delighted when we did.
Can't stop thinking it is my fault, my lovely Granny passed away last Sunday and was buried on Thursday, I did a lot of running around organising etc and agreed to speak at the funeral, ended up getting very worked up about it all which I am sure was not good for baby.
It is the first time in a long time I have seen DH cry .