How long will this take?

[moominlike]

Feel so sad to be posting here after having been on the Pregnancy forum looking forward to a February baby. How things can change in the space of a week.

Was diagnosed with a mmc on Wednesday after a second scan, I should be about 8 weeks but all there was was an empty sac so they think the pregnancy stopped at 4 weeks. Before the confirmation scan I thought I'd want an ERPC (I was expecting bad news as my hormone levels also weren't rising as they should) but was advised to let nature take its course, especially as I had a tiny bit of bleeding the day before the second scan.

I was happy to wait as to be honest I'd rather be at home than go to hospital (hate hospitals) but although the bleeding is increasingly every day it's still quite light. I know there's no way of knowing how long it'll take or what to expect, but it would be good to hear other experiences of natural mc this early on. I just want this to be over.

Also, and I know this might sound daft, I feel bad for being off work as it hasn't actually happened yet. I was off for a day and a half last week for hospital appointments. This week I've been off sick for most of the week as I couldn't face being at work waiting to mc. My boss knows what's happened and is being really understanding, there is no pressure from him at the moment to go back. My GP was also really nice and gave me a certificate to cover next week. I almost feel like I should be carrying on as normal until the heavy bleeding starts but I'm finding that difficult.

Sorry for the long ramble but it is quite therapeutic to get it all off my chest!

[Purplefrogshoe]

Sorry for your loss, I'm going through the same just now, just wish it was all over, I have to have another scan on Tuesday to confirm as at last scan sac was still empty but had doubled in size so won't let me book for erpc till then. The waiting is just awful, just look after yourself and don't worry to much about work xx

[Bakingtins]

Hi moomin so sorry you are going through this. I've had 4 natural miscarriages at between 8-10 weeks of pregnancy but baby normally been a few weeks behind dates, one with additional medical management as it was incomplete. I've had variable numbers of days of spotting/light bleeding before actually starting to miscarry, it's a bit of a "piece of string" thing how long that process takes. I would advise you to stay off, once it does start it can be a rapid progression to heavy bleeding, and I doubt you are in any fit state emotionally to work anyway.
If it doesn't happen in the next few days and you don't want an ERPC then you could consider medical management. I had to stay in hospital for an hour after the first pessary then was sent home with the second to apply myself the next day.

[moominlike]

Thanks for your replies.

Purplefrogshoe yes the waiting is hard, I feel like my life has ground to a halt for the last ten days...waiting for scans, blood test results, and now this. And nothing but bad news every time. For me the sac grew only a tiny bit in a week so they said they were 99% sure it was a mmc. I had prepared for the worst but it isn't over till it's over and I can't "let go" of the pregnancy emotionally until my body does. It's truly crap. I hope you're doing ok and getting lots of support.

Bakingtins I can't imagine going through this 4 times, I really feel for you. It seems my bleeding has stopped now but I still feel quite crampy - did you have that?
The EPU are meant to be phoning on Monday so if it hasn't happened by then I'll ask about the other options. Did it happen in hospital when you had the medical management? Or still at home? I think if I do have to go back to hospital I'd rather have the ERPC and get it over with. Hope you don't mind me asking questions.

[50degreesintheshade]

Sorry for your loss.
I have just been through the same thing, I also thought I would be expecting a baby in February. I had my ERPC last Saturday as i had no bleeding, cramping or any signs of a miscarriage and I just really needed for the nightmare to be over.
Look after yourself x

[omama]

So sorry for your loss moomins

Agree with Bakingtins re staying off work. You might feel ok but could progress very quickly to feeling pretty unwell. Not to mention your emotions which are likely to be all over the place.

I've just had mmc too, at 11wks. Started with light bleeding last tuesday, was stop-start for a few days, had scan last friday showing no heartbeat & measuring

[Bakingtins]

The medical miscarriage happened at home. I had to stay an hour after inserting the prostaglandin pessary (think this is just to make sure you don't have an allergic reaction) and it seemed to kick in about 4-6 hours later, and I had a second dose to insert at home the following day.
Honestly, if I had the option I'd go for an ERPC. In my case I've always been bleeding and it's progressed quite quickly, so there hasn't been time to get booked in for one or I've not been offered the option.
The limbo is the worst bit IME, my most recent MC I had 2 weeks of knowing pregnancy was not progressing properly but still baby had a weak HB and nobody would do anything, it was horrendous.
It's still shit when it's all over, but at least you can start to grieve and heal then.

[Alexb7]

I'm currently going through a natural MC (8wks), so far has lasted 10 days. From spotting to passing the sac was 5 days, since them I've had a couple of heavy bleeds but mostly light. I had another scan today to see what's left to come out and there's still a small amount which should take another week.
I would strongly advise you to get the strongest pain killers possible (prescription ones if you can), night time sanitary towels and those heat pads that stick to your skin.

I know what you mean about work, I ended up going in and having a chat with my manager about what was going on. It helped take my mind off what was going on, and if bleeding or pain got to much I knew I could go home. But everyone is different and what helped me might not be right for you. Maybe you could arrange to work from home if you feel up it?

It is a tough time both mental and physical, but you will get through it. I felt reassured by my scan today that although there was no-longer a baby, everything was in good working order for next time.

Don't feel guilty this is the time for you to look after yourself and remember to get the pain killers.

[moominlike]

Thanks for your messages, they are really helping.

Sorry to hear that 50shades and I can totally understand why you opted for the ERPC.

omama what you've described is what I'm worried about - it being a very long and painful process ending in hospital anyway, which is why I'm starting to think about the ERPC...although the bleeding has started again this evening and although it's light I feel just generally unwell, bit hard to explain, so who knows.

Bakingtins thanks for sharing your experience of the medical option. I'm really struggling with the waiting today, I feel frustrated, angry almost, that I'm expected to just stay like this for an indefinite period of time. I wasn't offered either the medical or surgical options, they were keen for me to just wait...maybe because I'm only 4 weeks? I had done my homework before the appointment though so I asked and was told they could intervene "if I really wanted them to" but seemed confident this wouldn't be needed.

[moominlike]

Hi Alex, have taken your advice and dug out some painkillers they gave me after I had my wisdom tooth out, I remember them being very strong. Sorry for your loss. I was thinking the other day how different the scans and tests suddenly become in these situations, where before you were hoping something was there but now hoping there isn't so you know it's finally over. So strange.

Workwise will see how the weekend goes but yes working from home might be an option to stop me going stir crazy.

[Tadpole2013]

Hi moominlike,
A big, big hug. I'm so sorry.
How I know the fall from looking at the pregnancy and baby pages to, well, where we are now. All within a week.
Exactly two weeks ago, I started miscarrying while busy setting up a surprise to let my partner know we were pregnant. I was 6wks+5.
It was rather painful. I took Ibuprofen 600 and had a hot water bottle which I had on my back or tummy, where ever the pain was the worst. I hope you won't be alone. I needed all the back rubs the partner gave me, I tell you.
I stayed home for a week. I needed more time, so I can only say take all the time you need.
I went back because it was my busiest week of the year and it would have been hell to miss work.
Friday came and right at the end of the workday, I folded like a cardhouse. (sorry I'm think in German which makes my English atrocious.)
Sorry for my ramble. I think I need to share this.
Good luck to you.
xx

[moominlike]

Hi tadpole, so sorry for what you've been through too. I'm glad to hear you have good support, my partner has also been great. I feel so sad when I think back to last month when I showed him the positive digital test, we were both so happy. A week later we went out with family for my birthday and told them the news, they were really excited for us - lots of happy tears. The best birthday ever. It's weird to think around that time everything stopped, weeks went by and I was blissfully unaware.

In some respects I feel lucky - that I found out sooner rather than later, that it happened early on...I know people have been through much much worse. I'm also lucky that I fell pregnant quickly when ttc. But I've wanted children for years (ex husband didn't and our marriage ended because of it) so it still felt like a very long road to that bfp.

It does help to talk about it and sometimes here is easier than in RL. And your English is excellent :)

I am sure we will both be back on the pregnancy forums someday soon xx

[moominlike]

Sorry 50degrees just realised I called you 50shades! Did make me chuckle though :)