yearofme so sorry for your loss. I also lost a baby at the end of last year, same as you we found out at the 12 week scan that the baby had anencephaly so I had a TFMR. It was awful but I have been feeling ok in recent months. However now that the due date is approaching (9th July for me) I am thinking about it more and more, and getting upset again. Sorry I can't really help, but I know exactly how you feel. As others suggested maybe mark the day in some way to celebrate your little angel baby, and if you haven't got anyone to talk about it with in RL, there are plenty of lovely people on here
Yearofme I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and that you weren't supported as you deserved to be by your partner at such a terrible time. Anniversaries and EDDs are difficult days to get through. I've found it best to acknowledge that rather than try to tough it out, if possible take some time off if you work so you can spend the day as you need to. I would also recommend planning something to acknowledge the significance of the day. I got a lot of comfort from buying a baby-related charity gift in honour of my baby's due date, figuring if I couldn't bring her safely into the world I could at least help another little one have a good start. Other ideas could be to plant a tree or shrub, light a candle, release a balloon, write a poem... anything that seems meaningful to you and releases some of the hurt and sadness you must feel at what should have been. You are not alone, there are many many women who have been through loss of a baby and will have days that are particularly difficult, and there will be someone here who can identify with however you are feeling. I think katatonic is right that you are stronger than you think, but even strong people are allowed to take time out to grieve, the coping and the grieving go hand in hand. Hope the day passes peacefully for you.
yearofme, really sorry to read your story. I wish I could say something that would make you feel better
I lost my baby at 12 weeks too, and some days I feel positive about the future and feel like I am surrounded by people who love and care for me and will be with me throughout this journey wherever it may end. But then some days the sadness can be overwhelming and I feel isolated and alone.
I am so sorry that your partner said what he said, really not necessary at a time of such deep pain and grief.
Is there anyone in your family or a close friend in RL you can speak too, and let them know you are having a tough time at the moment in the run up to the anniversary?
Please do take care of yourself, and look after yourself. You sound like you must have been through a rough year. But you've made it through it, so you are tougher and stronger than you probably realise you are right now. Take some time to reflect and acknowledge how well you have done to get this far. And also do allow yourself to grieve over the date. I haven't been able to take the due date note I excitedly put into my calendar (all souls day, ironically enough) and Im not sure how I am going to get through it.
Hopefully, someone who is a little further along in the journey than you will pop in and share how they got themselves through it.
Big hugs, and remember there is always someone on mumsnet to talk to and listen to you so you are never really alone x
I was pregnant last year. At 12 week scan found out my baby had a brain defect incompatible with life (anacephaly) Had a TFMR, nearly died from complications, partner came to see me in hospital to break up with me after telling me he wished it was my DD (from previous reltionship) that had been terminated and not his baby, he got mad because I wouldn't agree, there were many other things but that's another thread
I've been doing really well. But my due date is two weeks away.
I'm so sad. I feel empty and broken inside. I just feel so desperately alone. I've got no one who understands.