Think I'll just lie there with my eyes shut

(78 Posts)
Tomkat79 Wed 08-May-13 08:18:08

Feel so sick this morning. In 2 hours I have to have another V scan to confirm what we already know...there is no heart beat. Only one doctor could confirm it on BH Monday so another has to look today. More poker faces and silence. Ukg. Wish they could just hit a button on the scanner and this all just stops x

Tomkat79 Fri 10-May-13 07:49:06

And you sweetheart. Not long now. Xx

Sending a <<hug>> (very unmumsnet!) and as much strength as I can for both of you today.

Bakingtins Fri 10-May-13 08:05:14

Thinking of you both today.

Forgetfulmog Fri 10-May-13 08:08:11

Good luck Surrey & tomkat, thinking of you both today thanks

Tomkat79 Fri 10-May-13 08:42:21

My timing is impeccable. Have been cramping since 4-30, like mild labour pains. Am on ward and have just passed something that they've taken away in a pot. Looks like they still want to go ahead. Have spoken to the surgeon, told him to go easy on my uterus as ill be needing that again sometime soon. Everyone is so so kind.

So nice to have you guys here, DH has to wait in the waiting room xxx

Forgetfulmog Fri 10-May-13 08:59:15

Not long to go now tomkat & then you & DH can start to get on with your life (I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will both get through this) x

googietheegg Fri 10-May-13 09:36:46

Morning tomkat and mr tomkat. Thinking of you both today, it's no fun.

Tomkat79 Fri 10-May-13 09:46:57

Just had another scan, Bubba still there! It must really like it! Erpc still going ahead.

Hope they're not keeping you waiting too long NM/SL

Xxx

Tomkat79 Fri 10-May-13 15:08:03

Am home. All done no complications. Time to start healing properly now.

Let us know how you are Noah's mummy when you feel ready.

Much love everyone xxx

MrsArmitageQOTR Fri 10-May-13 15:30:40

Glad you're home. Been thinking of you. Take care.

NoahsMummyJul12 Fri 10-May-13 17:58:26

Glad you are home tomkat and there were no complications. I hope you are feeling ok and you can start healing emotionally well as much as you can do

Unfortunately the physical part isn't over for me yet and won't be for nearly a week. The scan confirmed the miscarriage and nothing has changed from last week. Unfortunately they still can't rule out partial molar pregnancy as the placenta looks abnormal and my hcg levels are too high compared to when the pregnancy actually stopped. Which is why I still feel pregnant at times apparently. I have no option apart frm the ERPC as it needs analysis. The earliest they can get me in is on Thursday so another near week of limbo for me unless my body does it naturally :-(

Xx

Tomkat79 Fri 10-May-13 19:03:59

Oh Noahsmummy I was so hoping for a weekend date for you. What a total shit. A week for us was agony but we got through it together and you'll do the same. We all still have a way to go, but I can tell from your posts that you're strong and sending you extra strength.

One thing I've learnt this week is that it's ok to feel how I feel whenever. I've allowed myself to be angry, bitter, twisted, sad and positive. The whole lot. Be kind to yourself too.

Hope all the staff were nice today. I've been shocked at the compassion I've seen. Kinda restores your faith a little xxx

NoahsMummyJul12 Sat 11-May-13 11:53:00

Hope you are feeling ok today tomkat x

Tomkat79 Sat 11-May-13 12:11:41

Bereft. Just about sums it up today.

How you doing? X

CupcakeFanatic Sat 11-May-13 14:28:16

Big hugs to all that need them today xxxxx

Tomkat79 Sat 11-May-13 18:13:53

Hi Cupcake

I just read your story on the ERPC hormone thread. Made me cry. Sending you back a tight squeeze xx

CupcakeFanatic Sat 11-May-13 18:43:48

Thanks for the tight squeeze Tomkat, I always welcome them smile I'm sorry for inadvertently making you cry xxxxx

Tomkat79 Sat 11-May-13 19:11:05

Oh don't be. I think you're amazingly brave. Am sure one day you will have a baby here with you on earth. X

NoahsMummyJul12 Sun 12-May-13 07:19:46

I read your post too and have to say it got me all emotional too. Sending you a big hug.

I hope you are doing ok today and you are coping ok with it all physically and emotionally. Do you have any plans for today?

I tried the manly approach yesterday of keeping busy, and well it worked for a bit but as soon as I stopped I was back to where I was. Still no signs of it happening naturally so think I have 4 more days to go

The suns out this morning which is lovely and I think we are going out today which will be a nice distraction.
x

Tomkat79 Sun 12-May-13 20:41:52

Hi all

God what a Sunday. Boilers gone wrong so no hot water, took on Asda complete with their 'baby' event, attempted some flat pack furniture which arrived broken, eaten too much bread and now i feel a total hormonal wreck!

Have at times managed to laugh through all this crap but now I just feel shocking. Guess it's coming up for a week since baby died which doesn't help.

Did you go anywhere nice today Noah's Mummy? Been raining here. Know what you mean about keeping busy. My body is demanding I rest but my minds in overdrive and doesn't it hit when you stop.

Love x

Forgetfulmog Sun 12-May-13 20:59:28

Hi tomkat

I remember thinking I was ok only to feel utterly crushed at seeing another baby announcement on fb or watching another baby advert on tv. It just felt like everyone was getting on with their lives apart from me. Just do wherever makes it a bit easier for you to cope with atm. But bear in mind you do need to rest - your body has been through a trauma & needs to physically heal (the emotional scars will take longer I'm afraid). X

Forgetfulmog Sun 12-May-13 20:59:35

Hi tomkat

I remember thinking I was ok only to feel utterly crushed at seeing another baby announcement on fb or watching another baby advert on tv. It just felt like everyone was getting on with their lives apart from me. Just do wherever makes it a bit easier for you to cope with atm. But bear in mind you do need to rest - your body has been through a trauma & needs to physically heal (the emotional scars will take longer I'm afraid). X

Tomkat79 Sun 12-May-13 21:31:21

Thanks Mog. Comes in such strong waves doesn't it?

I don't do resting v well at the best of times. Not too sure what pain killing pessary they stuck where on Friday but it was amazing. Have certainly noticed that today has not been as comfortable!

X

NoahsMummyJul12 Sun 12-May-13 21:46:14

I hope your boilers fixable tomkat and you aren't without hot water too long. Sounds like an eventful day. Sending you a big hug about it being nearly a week must be so hard.

I am the same have had a lovely day at a national trust garden with Dh, ds and my in laws and then I got home and bam! It hit me again sad

I am currently ok with babies & baby stuff as having a 10 month old I have no choice but to be really. Spend a lot if time own that aisle buying stuff and at baby groups. It's bumps that I find hard to see and am avoiding FB as a couple of friends have announced they are due in November

Off to try get some sleep now, not found it easy to the last couple of nights but am shattered from the fresh air so fingers crossed. Night night

X

Tomkat79 Sun 12-May-13 21:56:25

Glad you enjoyed a day out, sounds lovely.

Yeah night times are my worst. Hope you sleep well hon.

X

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