TTC after two miscarriages - advice please

(5 Posts)
sleepycats Tue 07-May-13 09:55:18

We have been trying to TTC a second child since last August. Got BFP in early November followed by an MMC and ERPC just before Christmas. Devastated especially as an early scan had revealed all was fine at just before 8 weeks - found out later that the baby had a missing chromosome. AF returned mid-Feb and started TTC again. Got BFP in late April only to start bleeding last Friday (5+3) and have miscarried naturally over the weekend.

I am desperate to try again - DS is over 3 so we are now looking at a 4 year age gap minimum. But am so scared. Anyone had DC, then 2 mc, then a successful pregnancy? My consultant says to change nothing and it is just two lots of bad luck. Is that right? Also, should I wait for another cycle or start TTCing again this month? All advice appreciated...

squizita Tue 07-May-13 10:03:32

Sorry to hear of your loss. The majority of women do have a successful pregnancy after two (or even three) MCs, yes. To the extent that the NHS only test/treat after three ... so there is hope. flowers The miscarriage association ( www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk ) has lots of helpful literature to this effect and a great forum.

In terms of TTC I don't think a forum is the right place to go - check with your doctor as all our bodies are different! Generally they say try again after one FULL cycle (this helps with dating, and ensures you've recovered) but many people do fall pregnant before that.

sleepycats Tue 07-May-13 13:19:15

Thank you - that's really helpful. I have realised I know lots of people who have suffered one mc, but not two, so was feeling very alone.

Physically I feel fine this time - I guess it was very early really. After the ERPC I needed a break so perhaps a two month wait was for the best. That was why I was wondering about TTC - I read on here that sometimes the advice is for dating purposes. I get bad ov pain so would have a pretty good idea of dates from that. Maybe should wait one month though! Thanks again

Bakingtins Tue 07-May-13 19:47:21

Hi sleepycats. I'm sorry for your losses. I'm in a similar boat. I had a MC in 2009 followed by my DC2, then been TTC no 3 since Aug'11 and had 2 further MC. I'm actually (just) pregnant again, but will be heading for nearly a 4 year gap if this one works out.
It's worth asking your GP about testing. I had routine bloods and a TORCH screen and swabs for infection after MC2, and after MC3 I went private to see a RMC consultant, but GP has agreed to run many of the tests for me. She said in view of my age (38) and having 3 similar miscarriages at 8-10 weeks, with a shaky pregnancy in between she would refer me on the NHS but the waiting list is pretty long in my area.
The consultant's advice was that we didn't need to wait to TTC again, I was pretty surprised because I thought she'd say 3 months off whilst they ran the tests, but she said carry on. Even after 3 in a row they find no cause in 50% of cases, and so I'm now on the empirical (might help, can't hurt) therapies of aspirin, high dose folic acid and progesterone. All the tests that are back so far have been negative.
Can I recommend a couple of threads that have been fab? This one for TTC after MC, and this one if you want to talk to others who've had recurrent miscarriages. Much less lonely when you have company along the way.
There have been lots of discussions on the TTC thread about whether to wait - many people haven't and a few have fallen pregnant without a period. Others have felt like the first AF was heavy and a 'clear out' and wondered if the lining would have been up to scratch on that immediate postMC cycle. We've always gone for "not trying not preventing", that first cycle, and I've never got a BFP straight away anyway.

Mammoth post, sorry!

sleepycats Fri 10-May-13 17:57:35

Thank you - that is very helpful and will look at the threads.

I like the 'not trying not preventing' approach which I think would take pressure off either way. As this mc was much like a regular AF I am hoping my cycle won't take too long to recover.

My GP and EPU were pretty adamant they weren't going to offer any tests as it is 'only' my second mc and I already have a child. And my consultant says as my two miscarriages were very different the causes are most likely to be two separate and unrelated events. She said she would do clotting studies and autoimmune tests privately if I insisted but would involve at least a six week wait and a delay in TTC. I am hoping I can be brave enough to believe everyone who says how unlikely a third consecutive mc is and just try again.

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