Miscarrying and a bit miserable

(17 Posts)
MrsArmitageQOTR Sat 04-May-13 16:51:22

Hi
I started miscarrying a few days ago at 6 1/2 weeks. Its been more distressing than i expected given how early my pregnancy is. I tried just keeping busy and treating it like a period which seemed to be the common description on advice sites like NHS, but ended up a bit overwhelmed. I saw a lovely doctor yesterday. Got tablets which are helping. 

I've had to keep on the go as i am a stay at home Mum of a 3 year old but now i have the chance to rest I'm just a bit miserable and struggling to think of anything else. I've several times thought it was finished but its not. I'm shattered.

Have others felt like this and felt better once the miscarriage is over?

kotinka Sat 04-May-13 17:06:37

thanks so sorry this has happened to you. it's so sad, took me ages to get over when I mc'ed. Don't be hard on yourself, you're bound to be upset xxx

nearlyreadytopop Sat 04-May-13 19:12:50

its really rubbish and im sorry for your loss. I would also say to take it easy. I found a loss at 6 weeks very painful and it took a couple of weeks for me to physically feel better.
take care

Littlepaleale Sat 04-May-13 19:20:00

Sorry this is happening for you. I was really wiped out when i mc'ed at 7weeks. Didn't realise it at the time, but i was sad and angry for a good while afterwards. Be kind to yourself and take care.

Thinking of you op x
The nhs website may say treat your mc like a heavy period, but in reality that isn't how it feels as the pain can be quite bad and the emotions you go through are overwhelming. Please take care and rest as much as you can.
I cannot say how you will feel when it is over as we all deal with things differently but it may be a small relief when the bleeding ceases although you may remain emotional for quite some time afterwards. The real rawness for me lasted around a few weeks, i was around the same stage as you when i miscarried in feb. Hope you manage to get the rest you need x

MrsArmitageQOTR Sat 04-May-13 21:20:26

Thanks for your replies and sharing your experiences.

Strange that being pregnant is a secret early on in case it goes wrong. Just getting messages here makes it less lonely.

Tablets are keeping the panic from taking over at mo and will hopefully help me sleep. Its a terrible solution but its only short term. I guess i just need to try and deal with feeling sad.

And i have the weekend to rest.

I feel less bad for finding this hard. Thank you.

Don't feel bad at all! You have to grieve your own way for what might have been. It will pass. It's been 2.5 years ( and another baby) for me and there's still a bit a pain when I read this and recognise how you are feeling, but it's gone from my everyday.

Don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself. A three year old won't let you wallow for too long. When you're ready, it will pass.

X

squizita Sun 05-May-13 11:29:33

Can I ask who told you to treat it like that? Sadly I am an 'old hand' at early MC. The treat it like a period advice is massively out of date, wrong, and shouldn't be given. They should recommend the miscarriage association support line (their website and forums are excellent too) and refer you to an epu with a phone number to call if you have concerns (physically, 6.5 weeks carries risks like infection - I have had an ERPC op at 7 weeks). No wonder you feel terrible! When you feel better, if you think it best, contact your healthcare provider to give feedback.

A 6 week miscarriage should be dealt with sensitively both medically and psychologically, so sorry you haven't been treated well at this hard time.

kotinka Sun 05-May-13 12:42:24

totally agree, to me my 7 week mc was a loss of a baby. I was even more hurt when family told me it's just the same as a period. I just had to ignore them and keep in mind they were trying to help but just doing it badly.

EuroShaggleton Sun 05-May-13 12:48:53

I'm sorry you are going through this. I found that spatone ( iron) helped to deal with the wiped out feeling. I had to fly a few days after mine started and I could barely lift the luggage a few inches onto the belt. A few days later I was feeling much healthier.

MrsArmitageQOTR Sun 05-May-13 12:55:54

Squizita - thank you for replying, but only myself to blame. I didnt see a doctor when I started spotting or bleeding. Didnt have a babysitter. I did some reading, thought I'd manage. I don't know what I was thinking, just that I knew there was nothing could be done. I was just so disappointed I couldnt face up to it I think. One of the things I'm really regretting. I gave the baby no chance of help.
I only saw the doctor after distressing 3rd night when I pretty much fell apart next day.
Doctor was going to refer me to EPU to book scan for tomorrow but she said it would be to confirm miscarriage. So didnt book because I knew for sure I'd miscarried. I didnt think I could face it. And she checked my tummy for pain, presumably re possible infection.
My husband said I should have booked EPU appt anyway. I think he was vaguely annoyed.
Anyway, I'm just rambling on-line instead of in my head now. Can't undo any of it.

kotinka Sun 05-May-13 13:05:18

sales you shouldn't feel guilty, with early miscarriages like ours there is absolutely nothing they could have done to help once it started.

Op never blame yourself, nothing could have been done to save your baby or have stopped it from happening. Take it easy and take your time to grieve, as even an early pregnancy like yours is very hard on you mentally, emotionally and even physically. I felt wiped out for a while, it really shocks you and all your hopes and dreams you had are taken away x

squizita Sun 05-May-13 16:25:59

Salexa- never blame yourself, there's nothing really they can do under the circumstances, now you should take care of yourself and get some tlc. Not your fault! Glad to heat the medics are taking care now, sadly so many don't see the emotional side just the physical. So sad that at a time we feel so weak we have to sometimes work so hard to be heard. Hope your husband is more OK now to... People grieve in different ways, I am sure he realises there would have been nothing the epu could have done but painkillers etc'.

MrsArmitageQOTR Mon 06-May-13 06:27:34

I've had a good nights sleep and feeling much more clear headed. I've barely spent time with my son so going to get dressed and go out enjoy some sunshine and get back on track. Thank you for talking the time to reply over the weekend. First experience on Mumsnet and its amazing there are people taking time to help others.

Bakingtins Mon 06-May-13 15:22:16

Sal I'm sorry you've lost your baby. The others are quite right that there is absolutely nothing the medics can do to prevent a first trimester miscarriage. EPU can be v helpful to bring some clarity to what is happening but you did nothing wrong by staying at home.
Take it easy and expect it to take a couple of weeks to recover physically, can be a lot longer than that emotionally, but everyone is different in that respect. However you wanted to handle it at the time, and however you want to handle it in the future, is ok.

LittlePeaPod England Tue 07-May-13 16:27:30

Sali am so sorry for your lose. Regardless of the number of weeks a mc is never easy. flowers

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