MMC Oct 2012, due date fast approaching, feeling a bit glum

(6 Posts)
MrsJohnDeere Sun 21-Apr-13 21:25:21

Just wanted to vent really. Feel free to ignore. Sorry this will be long and dull. blush

My due date would have been next Sunday. Given I had Pre-eclampsia in both previous pregnancies I would probably have been induced and had the baby by now if this had been a viable pregnancy.

I want to get any glum feelings out of the way now. By some bizarre coincidence my due date was also ds1's birthday or my birthday and I don't want to be sad on that day.

I feel guilty being feeling like this because the pregnancy was a total accident and I wasn't exactly overjoyed when I found out.

The pregnancy was a molar one, and I am having chemo right now to kill off the stupid cancerous cells that it left behind. It seems to be working but I feel really shit and life since October has been generally shit. I just want to feel normal and human again. I'm not allowed to get pg for a year after I get the all clear, which will be June 2014 at the earliest (by which time I'll be 42). I don't think I could even go through the stress of another pregnancy, and I'm sad that I'll never have a dd.

MrsJohnDeere Sun 21-Apr-13 21:33:54

Lots of typos blush. Had my first glass of wine in months.....

Bakingtins Tue 23-Apr-13 08:03:19

(((unMN-HUGS))) for MrsJD. Getting to your EDD without any silver lining is crap, isn't it. I MC in 2009 but by EDD (coincedentally on my birthday) I was pregnant again, MC in Sept 12 and have just been through EDD with only MC3 to show for it sad. It must be particularly hard to still be suffering the after effects of a molar pregnancy.
I've found it v therapeutic to do something positive to mark the EDD - I chose to buy a baby-related charity gift (safe delivery for a 3rd world baby) in honour of my lost LO. Does something like that appeal?
I hope you find some way to deal with the sad feelings and are able to enjoy the family celebrations at the weekend.

TrudyW Tue 23-Apr-13 18:32:37

Hi there,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I too had a MMC in October, my due date is coming up on Friday, I'm already grumpy and down about it, have a very short fuse this week even though we are lucky to be expecting again. Luckily my hubby and my 2 close friends are fantastic and I can talk to them whenever.
I'm even more terrified of Friday approaching as we have our 12 week scan for this bean and I can't bare to hear the same news as last time, especially not on that day!
We are planning on releasing a balloon Friday in memory of our lost baby, one thing I'm not sure about is whether I am right in expecting family members to remember what Friday is?? I think certain family members should but my hubby says I'm asking too much?? What do you think?
I know it will be hard but try to enjoy your little ones birthday as that is such a joyous occasion but also take time out to remember your baby at some point on the day.
Also I imagine with you still having ongoing medical problems associated with your MC its just impossible to move on, I wish you all the best with your health and the future xx

LittlePeaPod Wed 24-Apr-13 19:50:18

I am so sorry for your lose. Understandably this will be a difficult time for you and to top it off you have to deal with the treatment. I am not very good at this but i couldnt read and run. I just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and your family. thanks

MrsJohnDeere Wed 24-Apr-13 20:06:49

Thank you everyone. It is good to 'talk' to people who understand.

I actually feel a lot better now for having got it off my chest.

I'm very lucky really. I have two mostly lovely children and events of the last few months have made me realise how many fabulous friends I have in RL. I just need to focus on that.

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