Am I just too old now?

[DerBlaueEngel]

I appear to be having my second early miscarriage in a year. I should be 6 weeks pg tomorrow but have had a total loss of symptoms overnight, which is exactly what happened when I miscarried last year only it was a few days further on.

Have spoken to my doctor who says it seems to indicate that this is another pregnancy that's failed to develop properly, so it's highly likely that I'm miscarrying.

Tbh I was kind of expecting this to happen because of what happened last time and my age (36) but I still feel quite shaken up and wobbly.

Anyway, this is going to sound awful but when I was young - mid teens and late 20s - I had two abortions at between 6-8 weeks. Obviously didn't have a miscarriage with either of these or with my DS who I had when I had just turned 34.

But now that I'm in my late 30s I've had two miscarriages in a row at the same stage. I can't imagine that my age has nothing to do with it as this never happened when I was younger. I'm wondering if this is a sign that my body is now just too old for a successful pregnancy to happen even if I can still conceive?

Is this something a medical professional is ever likely to tell you if it's the case?

DH and I do want to try again but I'm scared now that I'm basically too old for it to work out and the same thing will happen over and over again. How do you find out if you're just too old to have a viable pregnancy any more? :(

[scaevola]

I'm afraid you can only find out by trial and error.

Plent of people have healthy babies into their early 40s, and some beyond that. But at a population level conception rates fall and miscarriage rates increase as you age. But there's no way of telling whether the population trend will apply to you as an individual.

[vix206]

I'm really sorry this is happening to you My knee jerk reaction is that 36 is no age at all. I'm 35 on Sunday and I'm just going through a miscarriage myself, my first one, also at 6 weeks. I have a 2.7 yr old DS and we had no problems at all with that pregnancy.

Obviously everybody is different, and everyone ages differently, but I know many friends (of all ages) have had 2 miscarriages one after the other and then a healthy pregnancy. It's heartbreaking and really cruel. I'm so sorry if you are miscarrying again

[navada]

So sorry to hear about your miscarriages.
I had my son at 37 & considered that still fairly young. Honestly, you've got at least another 5 years.

All the very best xx

[navada]

Oh, & I very much doubt the abortions have anything to do with the miscarriages, I've had 3 terminations & they didn't affect any future pregnancy.

[DerBlaueEngel]

Thanks for the kind words. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I thought because its happened before and I was half expecting it this time that I'd be able to be more matter of fact about it. But I feel really shocked and have been crying on and off all afternoon.

I didn't mention this in my OP but we also had a termination for medical reasons following CVS test last year so this is three pregnancies in a row that haven't worked out although only the second miscarriage. I honestly feel so shocked. Maybe because at some level we thought we'd had our bad luck and this time it would be different if that makes sense (I know it doesn't).

vix so sorry you're going through this too. Wishing you lots of strength and hope it works out for you next time round

[navada]

Try & relax, I know it's hard but you really must try. unfortunately miscarriages happen, it's just nature & as sad & upsetting as it is you have to see it that way. Being a woman is crap isn't it.
Stay strong, not just for yourself but for the beautiful child you already have xx

[MummysLittleSunbeams]

I'm really sorry for what you've been through. I had my first dd at 38, then 3 x mc's in a year followed by dd2 at 41 & then my gorgeous 10 month old ds at nearly 43. I'll be 44 years young this year!

I'd highly recommend acupuncture. I had it after mc no3 & fell pregnant with dd2 immediately, it kept me same in the early weeks of that pregnancy.

You are most certainly not too old. Good luck & stay strong.

[DerBlaueEngel]

Wow mummys that is really encouraging, and well done you for having the strength to persevere after all those losses, it can't have been easy to keep going. I will have to investigate acupuncture, if nothing else it would be good not to have as much stress in the early weeks of pregnancy when you're scared it's going to go the same way as before. Congratulations on your family!

[Bakingtins]

I've just had 3rd MC at nearly 39. I hope your fears are unfounded, but can understand your concerns about your age.
The figures are not as bad as you might think, 25% MC risk at 35-40 with a third of women struggling to conceive (against a background risk for women of any age of 15%) and by 43 it rises to 50% MC and two thirds can't conceive.
There are 2 blood tests that can give an idea of your ovarian reserve, but not egg quality, day 2-3 FSH/LH and anti-mullerian hormone. The latter not available on the NHS. Whether you can bear to "wait for a good egg" only you can answer, but I'd think your chances are better than you think. Our recurrent miscarriage consultant has been encouraging and I am 3 yrs older.

[juneau]

Miscarriages happen in approx. 1 in 5 pregnancies (although no one really knows the exact figure), so if you're planning more than one pregnancy you're likely to have one, and many women have several. Generally it's just mother nature deciding that things aren't quite right.

If you had a successful pregnancy two years ago and you're getting pregnant it could just be bad luck and your age may or may not have anything to do with it. Don't give up yet - 36 isn't that old. I had my second baby at 37, having had a miscarriage at 36 and then conceived again three months later.

[DerBlaueEngel]

Oh my gosh Baking tins, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through this three times now, I can't imagine how bad that must feel. Hope you are getting lots of support at home and that things turn around for you and you have a successful pregnancy. It must be reassuring that your consultant is still positive about your chances. Really hope it works out for you next time.

if you're planning more than one pregnancy you're likely to have one, and many women have several
This is the kind of thing I keep trying to tell myself juneau. I know it's the logical way to see it especially when there's no proof as yet that there's any more to it than that.

Apologies for the late response btw, been out all day. No progression of mc yet but it took about two weeks to happen last time round so it felt fairly safe to venture out.

[Kasterborous]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I had six miscarriages then it was a case of seventh time lucky and our DD has just turned one. I was four months away from turning forty when I had her.

[escorpion]

Kasterborous So happy it worked out for you. Your story gives me hope.

[randomimposter]

just to say I had DS1 at 40, then started ttc when he turned 1. Had 3 mmcs around the 12 week mark in just over a year. Had all the tests, nothing wrong. Had 2 more mcs around 6 weeks. Then the month before I turned 44 I got pregnant again. DS2 is nearly 7 months and snoring alongside me as I type. Good luck to all of you trying again after mc. It's very hard to keep going. But to my mind very worth it.