Time off work after late miscarriage

[Nobhead]

I miscarried my baby at 18 weeks +5 nearly 3 weeks ago. I went through labour and gave birth but had surgery due to complications with an undeliverable placenta and had to have 2 blood transfusions. This whole thing has completely floored me. We had the babies funeral on Friday and scattered the ashes today. Physically I don't feel too bad but this all still feels very raw emotionally. My DH is going back to work tomorrow (we work at same place) after having 3 weeks off with me. This has been really helpful for us both as we have had some much needed time together to talk to come to terms with everything.
We both work at the same place and our jobs are pretty responsible in that if we make a mistake it could have a massive impact on the lives of others. I also manage a group of 6 people and it can get stressful at times. One of the people I manage was due a week after me too which will be hard (although I don't begrudge her or anyone else, nor am I jealous- it will just be hard).
So my question is how long is reasonable to take off in this situation? I don't want to go back too soon but I also don't want to be seen to take the piss so to speak. How long have others taken off?

[flowery]

So sorry to hear that.

I lost a baby at 22 weeks a few years ago. I took a month off. No idea how that compares to others though.

[Gatorade]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

We lost our first just before 20 weeks, it was a very difficult time. I honestly think you have to do what feels right for you. My husband took 2 weeks off work (1 week being the week of birth and then the following week) and I took 3.5 weeks, going back to work just before the funeral (I should have waited until after the funeral in retrospect as I was hopeless for those 2 days).

I also have a stressful job (senior management) and a relatively large team but for me going back to work helped me to feel like I could continue and live and function again, but I didn't ease the pain of the loss.

Treat yourself gently, don't rush and do whatever you feel is right, you have been through a terrible and terrifying situation, don't worry about what others think, you are the important one in this.

[selsigfach]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I initially had 3 weeks off, went back and spent a week in work being a zombie, completely unable to concentrate and bursting into tears. I then had a further month off. It's been over four months now since I lost my baby and I'm still sitting here crying and feeling like there's no point in anything anymore.