late miscarriage caused by amniocentesis

(18 Posts)
Whitetara Thu 21-Mar-13 22:49:09

Hi Rainbow, I'm so sorry to read your story and for all that you have had to go through. Take care of yourself. flowers

nennyrainbow Tue 12-Mar-13 18:08:00

Big hugs too, and so sorry to hear that you're going through a similar thing, flyingsprocket. Actually, I have to say the staff at the hospital, especially the midwife who delivered her, were lovely. I had a visit from the chaplain too who was also very nice. It wasn't meant to be a complaint, more of an observation. I have a friend who had 3 early miscarriages and had terrible depression afterwards which she was pretty much left to deal with by herself.
I know how you feel with the early vs late MC but I keep telling myself that it was better than a stillbirth at a much later stage. Also, with a stillbirth you would have to tell absolutely everyone the sad news, whereas with a late MC we have only confided in a few close friends (ok, now the whole of mumsnet knows!) as not many people knew anyway. Although in some ways that makes it harder.
Hope you're feeling better soon, and thanks for sharing that. xx

flyingsprocket Tue 12-Mar-13 17:19:02

nenny I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl.

I was supposed to have a 20 week scan yesterday like you. Unfortunately I was induced a few weeks ago because my waters broke early. Yesterday we would have found out it was a little boy.

I haven't been offered support by the hospital or midwife but their help on the day was amazing.

Second trimester miscarriages are uncommon & the only people I know have had early miscarriages. I'm sure the sense of loss is the same but sometimes I have to stop myself thinking that our loss was worse than theirs.

Sending you big hugs xx

nennyrainbow Tue 12-Mar-13 16:33:14

Thanks for all your kind words. I'm quite overwhelmed by the number of people who have responded. Feeling a bit better today and enjoying the children I am lucky enough to have.
Shellywelly, orangepudding, nobhead and nectarini; I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Orangepudding, that must be really hard to lose 2 healthy babies. I think it was the fact that she was healthy and it just was a freak complication that made it so much harder for me. I have previously had a MC at 10 wks but for me it was nowhere near as bad as this emotionally as I told myself that there was obviously something wrong with the baby and it was better to lose it early than later.
Nobhead and nectarini, your losses are so recent you must still be hurting. There isn't a lot of information about 2nd trimester miscarriages; I think most people assume that once you've got through the first 3 months, everything will be fine, which, reading everyone's posts, isn't always the case. I don't know anyone in the RW who's had a 2nd trimester MC, and although of course I would never wish it to happen to anyone, at the same time it can be some comfort to hear from people who have.
One thing that has struck me over the past couple of weeks is how little professional support is offered. When you have a baby and everything is going well, you get no end of questions pertaining to PND, and if you did answer yes to any of them I'm sure there would be professional help available. With a miscarriage, early or late, there is nothing; you are expected to go home and get on with life, with no one checking how you are coping afterwards. Did anyone else feel this?

nectarini1983 Tue 12-Mar-13 14:57:36

Im so sorry for your sad loss.

I lost my third baby, a beautiful boy, at 17 weeks in January this year. it is so very hard to accept.

I hope you have lots of people supporting and taking care of you at this tragic time.

Be gentle on yourself and just go with how you're feeling. Take things hour by hour and then day by day.

God bless xx

Bakingtins Tue 12-Mar-13 14:47:10

I'm so sorry, what a terrible thing to happen sad

Nobhead Mon 11-Mar-13 17:34:38

So sorry you are going through this. I miscarried my baby at 18 weeks + 5 just over 2 weeks ago and it is utterly devastating. Having to go through labour and birth only to know that you won't have the happy result you should have had is just agony. Be kind to yourself and accept any support you feel will help you. The miscarriage association may be able to put you in touch with others who have experienced the same and you may find talking about it with others (when you are ready to) really helps.

mammmamia Mon 11-Mar-13 17:02:45

I am so sorry for your loss. That's heartbreaking. I hope you are finding some comfort and support from your family.

orangepudding Mon 11-Mar-13 16:57:51

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've miscarried two seemingly healthy babies at both 16 weeks and 20 weeks.

It is heartbreaking. Feelings of envy and jealousy are normal, you will probably feel upset again around your due date. You will feel better but it can take a long time.

Shellywelly1973 Mon 11-Mar-13 16:50:13

Im desperately sorry for you.

It seems so unfair. I wouldn't even patronize you by giving you advice. My experience of losing a baby can't even be compared to what you have been through.

The empathy & advice here is incredibly helpful. The Miscarriage Association is also a good source of support.

Take care of yourself. x

I`m so so sorry, that is so awful for you and your family. Much love to you x

sydlexic Mon 11-Mar-13 16:07:33

I had an amino when pregnant at 39 it was such a hard decision as I knew the risks. I am so sorry were one of the unlucky ones.

I'm so sorry. That is just so terribly sad.

icklemssunshine1 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:56:05

How utterly heart breaking. I haven't experienced this (coping with a MMC 3 weeks on) but couldn't read & run. Hope you've got lots of people in RL looking after you.

FirstUpBestDressed Mon 11-Mar-13 13:01:52

So sorry for your loss rainbow.
It is such a huge disappointment to lose your baby.
Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve and heal.sad xx

AnythingNotEverything Mon 11-Mar-13 13:00:15

Didn't want to read and run. I'm so so sorry for your loss.

nellyjelly Mon 11-Mar-13 12:59:59

Never been through it but wanted to post to say so sorry. What a terrible thing to happen.

I think your story will be helpful to those considering testing. I think because amnio is generally safe it is taken as read by some that there is no risk at all. Not that simple as your sad story shows.

Give yiurself time. You are bound to feel sad when you see babies. i had a mmc and it took me a long time to get over that.

Take care of yourself.

nennyrainbow Mon 11-Mar-13 12:52:57

Hi
We lost our baby girl on Tuesday 19th Feb, thought to be due to an infection caused by amniocentesis. I am feeling really sad today because our 20 week scan was scheduled for today and it should have been a really happy day. I had been really looking forward to today as I was keen to find out the sex and was really hoping for a girl. We were also planning to tell everyone including our 3 other children ( 2 DS & 1 DD) round about now.
I don't want to scare people as I know there are a lot of women on here who have amnio with no ill effects and I would like to point out the chance of losing a healthy baby due to CVS/ amnio is very low. But it does happen.

This is what happened. My screening test for DS had given me a risk of 1:135, mainly because of my age (40). Nuchal scan was 2.5mm, HCG was 1.96 mom, papp-A 1.07 mom. I was offered a choice of a) doing nothing b) CVS a few days later with a 1% chance of miscarriage or c) wait another 2 weeks and have amnio with a quoted 0.5% risk. Having 3 children already, we felt we wanted to know or sure so I opted for the lower risk test available which was the amnio.
I had it done at 15 weeks 5 days. On the day everything seemed fine. The membranes were fused - the doctor had said that if they weren't yet fused she wouldn't do it and I would have to come back at a later date. It took 2 attempts to get the fluid out but I had been warned that this sometimes happens and a clean needle was used for each attempt. Everything was sterilised beforehand and the doctor checked the baby's heartbeat afterwards and everything looked fine.
I had no side effects in the next 3 days. On the 3rd day, the midwife called to give me the good news that baby did not have T21, T13 or T18. Everything seemed to be working out well and we were planning to tell close family that weekend. Then the next day (Friday before half term), I had some cramping in the evening but put it down to tiredness. Saturday morning it continued but became more like early labour contractions so I rang the out of hours GP. As well as contractions, I had a slight fever (37.6) and I specifically mentioned to the doctor that I was worried that it was an infection caused by the amnio. She listened to the baby's heartbeat and then reassured me that infection was extremely unlikely and that I would have been more ill if this was the case so I was told to go home and rest and come back if things got worse. The cramping carried on all weekend and on Sunday evening I started leaking amniotic fluid. Monday morning I phoned the midwife at 9am and was told to go straight to hospital (with my 3 kids who were on half term). We spent the whole day up there having tests and scans and at the end of the day i was told (not in front of the kids thank goodness) that it looked like a chorioamnionitis infection, probably due to amnio, and that I would be advised to terminate the pregnancy for my own safety.
I had to go back the next morning for a 2nd opinion and the scan showed that baby had already died. Thankfully I was spared the decision to terminate but it still came as so much of a shock as up to then I'd somehow deceived myself that everything would be ok. Because of the risk of septicaemia I had to be induced straight away, and had the both the abortion pills taken together rather than 24 hours apart. It was the most painful labour ever because my body wasn't ready and I wasn't allowed an epidural because I had a high risk of clotting. Also, I was being sick all the way through presumably because of all the drugs as I've never had this happen in my other labours. My tiny but perfect daughter was born that night at 16 w 6d, about the size of my hand.

Still finding it really hard, thinking of what should have been. Every time I see a baby girl, either real or on the telly, it's just a constant reminder of what I lost. And I'm dreading the arrival of the royal baby this summer as I was due about the same time. I don't begrudge anyone else their babies as I have 3 healthy children and certainly wouldn't want anyone else to go through this, but I still find it hard seeing baby girls (strangely baby boys don't have the same effect). I feel cheated as we had already gone through a lot and overcome so many obstacles (getting pregnant at 40, morning sickness, amniocentesis, not having Downs syndrome) and just as everything was looking rosy, I turned out to be the unlucky 1:1000 who gets an infection.
Wondering if anyone else has been through something similar and how you coped.

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